Suo Motu: The cyber-torture

My daydream had a few seconds’ run. The spoiler came in the form of a cell phone call. Meet me in the chambers, pronto. Within a few minutes a messenger rang the doorbell and delete vered s handwritten note (more like scratches on paper) a hardcopy of the same cell phone conversation. I cursed silently, why this suo motu judge does not leave issues and me in peace. Why is he being still allowed to preside in a courtroom? Maybe one day I would work up courage and file a suo motu case by myself in his court? Who knows, the judge might gladly preside over it, without losing sleep!

To avoid his lordship's personal appearance at my door, I hurried to meet with the judge. A part of my mind did not stop to guess whether today is the day of whittling or doodling. Another stray thought peeped out to wonder why he did not become a woodcutter or an artist, saving me from his suo motu brainstorms!

I respectfully knocked on the door and waited for his raspy voice to utter, “enter". The long delay, which was unusual, perturbed me. To ease my anxiety, the judge crowed a come in. I found the judge staring at three cell phones, faceup on the table. Whittling pocketknife and the doodling legal pad mysteriously absent from the table. The intensity with which the judge was staring at the cell phones frightened me that the displays might vaporise any time soon! For all my worries, I did not know why and what for the judge called me.

Judge: "Do you know how frustrating this is?" 

I did not reply with the same here too retort. 

Judge: "Do you know how this thing affects normal life?"

I remained silent, without pointing out that he should look within himself and recognise how disruptive his tactics are on my day today life.

There was no sign of the usual object on his table- pocketknife and doodling pad. Abruptly, the judge pulled out a file titled " Cyber...." and pushed it towards me. Before I could open it, he said," Read and argue the case tomorrow at 10:00 AM. As usual it is a pro bono, suo motu case.  The suo motu part I have taken care, and you do the pro bono work”.

He shouted "adjourned” and banged the table.  As an afterthought, he was kind enough to give me a clue- it takes roughly 20 to 25 seconds and repeats every day at least once and as a fringe benefit, it raises your blood pressure. Like a horse bolting out of the stable, I dashed out, not before hitting my toes on the door frame, while thinking whatever the judge said was a clue or a puzzle!  

At home, I opened the file and was surprised as well as confused. The judge, not yet out of the trees (a papyrus man) was taking a quantum leap. The man scared to look at a spreadsheet is now trying to spread his wings to soar into cyberspace, why? Why has he titled the case' "Cyber torture”. The clock started racing towards the deadline- to appear and argue.  I decided to do the background and legal research to prepare myself. I knew pretty well that the judge never left the courtroom and brooks no delay in starting his scheduled hearing. If I am late, he would surely find another pro bone case for me. This impelled me to enter the court 15 minutes in advance.

Judge: Counsellor, are there any pretrial motions?

Me: (Anyhow, he is not going to read it, why to waste my time and paper!).  Yes, your honour. Permission for oral submission

Judge: Counsellor don't make it a habit. For now, permission is granted.

Me: Your honour, I don't know why you are tilting at the windmill? Pray, dismiss the case as this court doesn't have jurisdiction as well as expertise to deal with this issue.

Judge: Counsellor, check that your tongue is held in your cheek. Such cheeky response will land you in legal trouble.

Me: (Fearing some more pro bono coming my way) Sorry, Your honour.

Judge: Then proceed ...

Me: Your honour, a sidebar, if you please. 

Judge:(waving his hand) Come over.

Me: When the issue involved is a product of active participation of all of us, how is it legal or logical to be a plaintiff, defendant, jury and a judge at the same time? 

Judge:(anticipating where this was going) Counsellor, you are jumping the gun ... lay a proper foundation.  

Me: Sorry your honour, I will do it in my opening remarks.

Judge: Make sure you don't lay it thick; I mean the foundation part!

Me: In 20 seconds, light travels nearly 60 lakh kilometres. The moon goes around earth, a shade over two times. A snail travels about 0.26 meters. And ...

Judge: Counsel, where are going at this snail’s speed? Hurry it up.

Me: judge, I am almost there...

Me: Judge, the snail is frustrated because it is unable to match the speed of moon or the ray of light. The moon is frustrated because neither it can slow down nor speed up! The ray of light is frustrated to be in such an environment.

Judge: Counsellor, you are skating on thin ice ...dangerous territory... don't make me frustrated with you.

Me: Sorry your honour. I am only trying to support the element of 'frustration' expressed by the bench.

Judge: Counsellor, come to the point.

Me: Your honour, things occupy space. Likewise, computers, intra and internets and   electronic highways also exist there as cyber space. Like on highways, in this electronic highways crimes are carried out using computers and networks particularly the internet. Cyber criminals hack and highjack data, commit financial fraud, and other malicious acts. To put it in a nutshell, a type of highway robbery using "0" and "1" to fashion a malware - a ghost who clears everything.

Judge: counsellor, you have stocked up enough hot air to float a balloon. Do you have any evidence to support your imputation that all of us are part of it. And particularly on the statement involving plaintiff, defendant, jury and judge. Why drag me in your quagmire?

Me: Your honour, I meant no imputation. We invented computers, networks and thereby created cyberspace. These things do not have the ability or free will to occupy cyberspace. Then who put them there? Then, creative minds, of the devious kind, from among us took over the cyberspace - lock, stock and barrel. Now, we are making us to run for our money. Whom will you blame - the complainants, the defendants, the juries or the judges? I rest my arguments.

At the end, the judge stood stock still, maintain silence. Maybe, for more than a minute. All of a sudden, a thunderous applause shattered the silence in the courtroom.  He might have noticed the perplexed look on my face.

Judge: "Counsellor, are you wondering why I stood in silence and then clapped?   You buried my case and I stood in silence.  Now I need not worry about drafting a lengthy recommendation as my judgement. Most importantly, the clapping was ...."

He must have enjoyed seeing the expectations darting across my face and said, " for my self-confidence and trust in allowing you, to argue the case."

Judge: (beckoning me) Counsellor, side bar. Did you not wonder, after seeing three cell phones on the table, when you entered my chambers? Could you not connect your observation with the case file I pushed towards you?  When was the last time you got frustrated, while calling someone from your cell phone? Did I not mention about 20 to 25 seconds, repeating every day and with fringe benefit?

It took me more than a minute to piece together all this, and like a lightning striking a cell tower, everything fell into place. The judge was mentioning about warnings about the cyber criminals and cyber-attacks, dutifully brought to every subscriber, by concerned authorities and service providers. Feeling sheepish that I had argued a case, on the fly without digging out the ‘catch’.

It was my turn to stand stock still, with a sullen face. Sensing the opportune moment, the judge - my torturer, hurried into his chamber.