A child in despair speaks: 353

 My grandson came home from school minus his usual cheer and bounce. Concerned, I enquired, “What is worrying you? Why the sad face?”

“The thought why should I continue education, if it is not of any help in my future aspirations?”

This reply was like a primed dynamite among RDX explosives. To get to the bottom of the matter, I asked, “Why you feel so? Education is supposed to shape your future, and now why you have doubts?”

He started, “Grandpa, I have to study more languages now, with textbooks written to college standards. There are the usual subjects along with history and geography, as civics or by whatever name, where will be enthusiasm to study new languages knowing fully well that all of them will not be helpful to students planning to study engineering, medicine, architecture, astronomy, mathematics, or any other branch of science?”

In a conciliatory tone I told, “I agree that languages should be like a buffet arrangement. Individuals can choose and pick to his or her liking. Having had it without complications, those behind this loading of languages on students want to have their day of glory. 

It is unfortunate for the language as well as the students. But I disagree on the point that learning additional languages has no future benefit though I have to agree with you on the level of textbooks prescribed which only frightens the learner.

The blame is on those who stand behind in pushing the languages through, no matter what, and on those authors chosen for writing the textbooks to high standards. It did not matter to them, if the students have already set their minds on courses other than literature. The issue is like dropping milligrams of carbon black in milk and then trying to restore the milk to its natural colour.”

“Grandpa, did I not say that there is no use in learning more languages when it does not align with my future ambitions? Am I to go to the stone ages? What they want me to become – a novelist, teacher or a pencil pusher in an office? You know, today even a pencil pusher must use AI, python, backchain etc.”

This kid was like a boiling liquid. Unless the source of heat is removed it will cool not down. So, instead of advice and explanations, I asked him to sit with me and listen to what I have to say about a language. I made it clear that what I was about to tell him is solely for the purpose of exploring its history and enjoy its beauty and versatility. I left the choice with him to choose or give it a pass.

Still frustrated, he reluctantly nodded, which I could have easily missed had I not been watching for it. Having set up the stage, I started presenting my thoughts in the hope that at least he might begin to appreciate what makes a language to tick.

“Since the first cry of human beings occurred a very long time ago, there are certain logical boxes that need inspection. Who let out the first cry – a newborn, toddler, child, adult and of which gender?  Who tutored - nature, animals or birds? Did the cry was pre-recorded in the DNA of the human being? In the absence of a definite clue, the un-ticked logic boxes point to the unknown origins and remains as an enigma!

Countless millennia ago, the first human cry, an audio that disturbed the air waves on our planet. Like "doctors sans frontiers", it was a word without alphabets. With their focus only on survival, the hunting and gathering food or defending against enemies, our ancestors just stopped short with what we today call as phonics!  Guided by evolutionary pressure, they jumped the alphabet queue to invent verbal-verbs, combining them with sounds and hand signals. 

Our ancestors and their rudimentary vocabulary of audio-words kept evolving continuously. Many millennia later, they tried their hands in pictorial representations. With no pressure to explicitly bring out their socio-cultural leanings, they took some more time to plant the seeds to grow the nascent crop of alphabets.

The labour of countless minds, hands and assorted writing mediums- from granite to papyrus, resulted in crude forms of alphabets. Probably, thinking that a group of alphabets might stand a good chance of survival with bargaining power, they devised a clever scheme with vowels and consonants.

Still afraid of the unknown, the alphabets decided to combine in as many random ways as possible to live in safety. This cocktail gave birth to words. The life of the words got a little complicated as dictated by etymology, spelling and phonetics. Sensing the danger of having limited utility as a verb or noun or number, the stand-alone words decided to admit pronouns, adjectives, adverbs articles and prepositions into their fold.

Imaginatively, they added many hyphenated words and even bent their backs to get contracted, abbreviated as acronyms and initials or other surgical strikes to increase their utility value.  What else could they do? They opted for a group defense strategy by agreeing to be governed by syntax, grammar! These rules governing the formation of sentences infringed upon their freedom, but did they not find the safety now!

Tentatively, they attempted to befriend with – 1^st, 2^nd and 3^rd person, degrees of comparison, gender indicators, idioms and phrases, punctuation marks and so on to form simple, complex or compound sentences.

These newly minted sentences marvelled at the transformation and happily invited punctuation marks for company, even if powerful enough to stop them in their strides! After stocking and packing with these essentials, the journey of sentences began with the toddlers, beginners, adults, teachers, writers and professionals. The words and sentences became proud to be associated with the works of professionals as they come up with acronyms, every day!

My grandson broke silence and said, “When young, I had difficulty in recognising the alphabets and you forced me to trace them over again and again, till I could write them with reasonable resemblance. Then heard your lectures about not choosing the correct verb or noun or forgetting the punctuation marks while forming a sentence. 

But my point is, our ancestors struggled to discover an identity and I am struggling to retain my choice.” From his comment I understood that the pot is still hot and he had just posted the ‘handle with care’ notice.

With a gentle tone, I continued, “Whatever be the language it has a soul and never fails to touch the hearts of the users. This they could do only by absorbing and evolving. From the first cry to this day, the language has taken phenomenal strides to expand its vocabulary. Literally, it is eagerly waiting to express its thanks to anyone who coins a new word with a light-year wide smile! 

The language happily accepts infiltrating foreign words and allows its own to emigrate!” 

Commenting, my grandson said, “You have painted a beautiful verbal picture though I am not very about your message. 

Sensing the sign that the boiling pot has begun to cool down, I continued, “Though bound by many constraints, the language has found a way to put the gag order on the user. There are rules governing its usage. It is a clever tale of twisting the tail and taming the tiger! The written or spoken words are ticking bombs primed to go. The power of words gets unleashed, limited only by the imaginative way they are used. 

The emotionless words while describing bravery and cowardice, joy and sadness, hope and despair, compassion and cruelty can go histrionic to leave a reader in tears. 

If used without weighing the consequences, a difference becomes a conflict; a glib talk becomes a deception; a war cry leads to destruction and despair. As a container gives shape to a liquid, thoughts and expressions of an user shapes the language. Unwittingly, our ancestors might have anticipated this potential hazard and happily conducted their survival business with their rudimentary language! 

It seems that the first cry that disturbed the air waves has not fallen into deaf ears, is it not?”

Grandpa, my problem is, the ‘burdened languages’ will not be rudimentary in textbooks and why am I being made to echo that first cry you are very fond of mentioning?” 

I continued, “But the language did not sit idle and cry. Absorbing new roots and words, it flourished to earn wider following. This did not happen easily as it had to bend its backs to compete and come out as a winner in the fields of literature, science and technology by enriching itself with newer words every year. The fiction writers used invented words in their plots, even before those concepts and technologies came into existence. 

Science & Technology invented processes for those concepts and gladly used those words to describe them.  The language is not only beautiful but a powerful driver of inventions also! A case of fiction becoming real. 

WE are heroes in our own stories, but the word is a hero in everyone's story.  If it had not come out of wilderness and today, we will be in wilderness without words!”

My grandson sat listening in rapt attention, without interrupting me. I took it as a positive sign that he had started thinking with a favourable outlook. His next words punctured that balloon.

He said, “Along with the early humans, a language also had to suffer with frustration to evolve and survive. But where is logic in making students like me, with future visions, to suffer with languages suggested without taking into account the aspirations of my generation? When two itself is considered to be a crowd, will I not be facing a stampede to learn 3 or 4 languages?

I agree that the word is a hero for coming out of wilderness, but that does not mean I should be cast in the wildernesses of new languages. I am prepared to study hard to realise my ambitions but why to make it harder to achieve? Think of the mental pressure applied by my future-worried parents, who think it is necessary to have a head start. 

The axe will fall on sports activities, hobbies and instead coaching classes and yoga gets the green light, to squeeze the daylight hours out of my control.”

I wanted to tell him “If you don’t get what you like start liking what you got” but he had already left me to ponder ‘where are we all going with this MLS (multiple language’s syndrome)?’.  I realised that this boiling pot has still some more heat to give off. Yet, hope always has a chance. In spite of saying all these, my grandson will go to school as usual.  I sat thinking about an equitable solution for this academic quagmire.

The parrot family: 342

 The parrot repeats what is taught, to keep its provider happy. The parrot helps a fortune teller to earn a living and itself getting shelter and food in the bargain. There is a flip side too. This mimicry artist over hears words, not intended for its ears, but unwittingly repeats them anyways to the discomfiture of everyone. These colourful, intelligent, and highly social birds with their noisy group behaviour, inspired the collective noun “pandemonium” and a phrase such as "company of parrots." They did not mind the climb in the popularity charts with the epithet "popular as with parrots". Of course, the winged parrots would not know any of these! 

Befitting the racket raised by the screeching flocks, John Milton invented the word and used it in his Paradise Lost!  The word, "pandemonium”, coined by him is literally poetical. 

The parrots you are about to get acquainted with are not a winged variety but an equally vocal group, in making pandemonium, by talking all at once. These humanoids not only repeat, but repeatedly repeat, all the while making more and more din. Milton’s “Paradise Lost” has a contender in this “Paradise Lost in the Din!” 

The winged parrots repeat without bias but these humanoids spread their wings to swing from praise to criticism with a difference - praise unto close ones overlooking errors and criticism unto others putting them under a microscope. With the help of winged parrots, the writer wanted to observe these humanoids in action. 

He needed a human to interface with his chosen bird. He combed through fictional stories that portrayed humans and animals communicating with each other. The fantasy novel written by S.A. Adams in the 1930s offered him a breakthrough and the word – Zoolinguist. Emulating Milton and tinkering with Adam’s Zoolinguist, he coined the word avianliguist for his parrot-minder cum reader! He made him his agent-in-place for the task.

This avianliguist, who could interact with avians, convinced a sly looking parrot to attend a get together and report to him. The promised bag of choice nuts was too good an offer for the parrot to decline. It attended the party, observed and memorised everything it heard, through the pandemonium created by multiple, high-pitched voices trying to drown each other.

A small group was trying to establish, with lineage-logical proof, that theirs’ and extended family members (who were not blood relatives), all inherited diseases ‘A’ through ‘Z’ ,  like in an electronic fund transfer mode. To the parrot, they all appeared to be least interested in any other thing, including the purpose for which they have gathered.

With its head almost severed by the sonic boom, it narrated the episode to its handler, in a barely audible voice.  Exasperated, it told him, “Keep your bag of choice nuts …I have just seen so many!” Taken aback by this witty comeback, the avianliguist asked, “who stood at the top of scale? The parrot asked, “in pitch or volume? Defeated, he asked, “whichever way you deem fit.”

The parrot replied, “There was absolute synchronisation in the madness of making a din. When the ladies raised the pitch, the gents supplied the volume and vice versa. Now I have the feeling of becoming an Alzheimer’s candidate with a bout of Zika virus attack. Let me go!”

It cursed its enthusiasm and forgetfulness to bring the noise-cancelling earmuffs. Regretting its decision to attend that get together, the parrot flew to its perch and sat nursing the splitting headache.

Now, the avianliguist had to snag a gullible parrot to attend another of those get togethers. He wondered “why a distant relative, who had never kept in close contact with these people, made them hop mad to have a get together!”

What sort of freebee he had to offer to that bird to attend that gathering without an invitation? Thinking that this parrot may also fall for the bag of choice nuts, he offered the same as inducement. Gullible but still smart, this parrot retorted, “that bag of tricks won’t work, give me a better offer.” The avianliguist, having no other choice, agreed to give a bag of farm-fresh grain of its choice. Accepting the deal, the parrot flew into the venue hall, to start its intelligence gathering.

One unattached guest was explaining to another, about an accident and how with immediate medical care and surgery a life had been saved! To anyone, this would have been an information shared with compassion, keeping the best interest of the accident victim in mind. Overhearing this, the parrot family grabbed this as a golden opportunity as if otherwise their booster rockets will remain unlit on the launch pad, even after the time mark had gone up to +10 seconds! Pronto, they joined the discussion, uninvited.

Out of courtesy, the talker and the listener remained rooted at the same spot to be submerged in the deluge of names, from obstetrician to zoologist including veterinary doctors, with lineage to their ancestors (mercifully, not with the first humanoid) and addresses of clinics where they run their thriving practices. Though none of them lived here did not matter to the parrot family! The parrot along with the two unattached guests could not escape from hearing their high pitched, emotional encomiums.

When the parrot came back, the avianliguist asked for a de-briefing. First, it silently showed him a list, the size of a telephone directory. These are the names of doctors, in their family, have it. Then, it showed him a business card of the veterinary doctor, living somewhere near the Swiss alps, and said, " In case I fall sick, I could contact him and he would in turn put me in touch with his cousin in Colorado, who in turn would put me in contact with his brother who is an expert in treating diseases of avians!". Happy now? Let me get that promised gift hamper and scoot.

The avianliguist did not tell the parrot, that no matter what ever be the subject, these humanoid parrot-talkers would always come up with a list of relatives who are the best in the world. Why to upset the applecart now, he may require the services of this parrot on another occasion! 

The avianliguist experienced extreme difficulties to recruit a parrot for this assignment. Thinking that ‘nothing short of an irresistible offer would help him to find a willing parrot’, his mind raced along various ‘lucrative inducements such that any parrot would willingly sacrifice its wings for it’. A two-deck tree house at a location of its choice, with attached swings and slides along with a storage desk for nuts and fruits, perhaps?

Why this extravagant freebee? It has to spend a day, from dusk to dawn, listening to the parrot talk of a particular humanoid, mostly dispensing monologues. The parrot must remain on its feet, toes and nails  to capture snatches of the other side conversation also.

The irresistible offer drove the parrot literally to nuts. To avail the once in its life time upgrade, it gladly agreed. Not to miss out on anything, it sneaked into the house an hour earlier than the scheduled snooping time. It did not want a nut or a grain or a fruit to slip from its beak.  Few minutes before eleven ‘O’ clock in the night, a caller tune jingled on a cellphone. 

The person sat up on the bed as if awakened by a thunderclap! From this time onwards, the cell phone changed position, from left to right, and for a few times it maintained a safe distance from the eras. The parrot could hear loud and clear the spilling over words, which were harsh and complaining. After this call many calls came,, one after another, and were promptly attended. 

To the parrot, all the conversations and follow through actions appeared to be more or less following a script perfected over-time! “He told this and I told her something regarding that and she in turn told me so many additional things and you know what, I had to pass on all these juicy titbits to my friends one by one. I had to savour each repetition which otherwise I would have missed on a ‘Zoom’ call!”. The moment this call ended, it was another friend or another friend’s friend who came on the line…. 

There were some silver linings in the cloud. Mostly this person did the ‘sound’ talking and others were forced to listen but this did not help it in guessing the gender of the caller. The parrot started cursing its overenthusiasm and the elementary mistake in not bringing a box of band-aid strips to tape over its ears. When the parrot was unable to listen to these sound monologues, with tears in eyes and internal bleeding in ears, where was question of capturing the other side conversations? 

The parrot had to endured the difficult phase, from bed time to the wee hours. It reckoned that the person might be a night owl on the prowl. This thought brought up its instinctive fear for owls. On the other hand, it was like watching a ‘breaking news’ breaking over and again. Though very much interested in hearing the helpless voices from the other end. Based on the current experience, it opted to store that wish under” very much a wishful thinking.”

Worn down by these verbal onslaughts, it concluded, “Not my ilk, could keep on repeating the same thing to every other person on an audio-loop. Keeping the cell towers busy, from wake-up time to bed time, will surely nudge the balance-sheet of the service provider to go red.”  Thinking and enduring all of these, its head started to spin like a top, but as luck had smiled on its head, it did not get toppled. 

Driven to despair, the parrot turned its ire on that second hand, which was taking a minute to move forward a second and wondered how many more seconds it had to count for the sun rises and its freedom! A caged parrot does the bidding of a fortune teller, for a few more grains! That parrot had surrendered its freedom to suffer. In what way am I different by inviting this discomfort for the promised bird-house?

The avianliguist, fearing the worst thought that the parrot might have flown the coop. He was surprised and appalled to see the bedraggled parrot sitting forlorn atop a dustbin. 

I sense the mental gears shifting in your minds, wondering who has such parrots and how come the wingless parrots failed to notice them, in all these episodes? Why the title” Parrot talks”? for humanoids?

As the narrator, I have taken some leeway, to take you all on this illusory journey.  Enjoy the fantasy without any hard feelings! 

Even an imaginary story should be anchored over a solid foundation. The fictional and sci-fi novels “Otus Swift and the Synth Birds” by K.J. Egelby in which the birds interact directly with human brain through low-frequency signals and “The Axis Trilogy by Sara Douglass” which features a bird-person race called the Icarii.  These novels presented that foundation for creating an avianliguist, the wizard who could talk to the parrots and the all-knowing parrots. 

Why the parrots? In the wild or captivity, the parrots communicate vital social, safety, and emotional information to their flock members. In this context, utilize specific vocal calls, regional dialects, and when lacking contact with other parrots, mimic human speech or familiar noises to interact and use body language to become comfortable and try to manage their environment. 

Why this title” Parrot talks”? 

 It is quite natural for the winged variety to repeating exactly what someone else has said, often without understanding the meaning. To describe the actions of these non-winged parrots, I have tweaked the above phrase “as the art of mechanically repeating verbatim like a parrot with added sound bites” instead of its usual explanation to describe this as “Parrot fashion” found in certain humans like this family, you all have rubbed shoulders with, in this write up!

If the write up had been a first-person account, the narrator belonging to that circle would be confronted with ace cries of ‘outrageous, preposterous and malicious intent.” From close quarters, this would be like getting nuked with Hydrogen bombs!

So, this story needed a protagonist and the choice for the task led to the company of parrots. By invoking poetic license, I have endowed the three parrots with extraordinary observation and speaking powers. But be assured, here I am perching on a solid branch of precedents, as you will see in the following two-part answer. 

As the narrator, I have taken some leeway, to take you all on this illusory journey.  Enjoy the fantasy without any hard feelings! 

The Lady Karna: 343

My apologies to Karna of Mahabharat fame. For my writing purpose, I am forced to paint the story with a female character. Nothing touches the heart like a glycerine washed T V serial. Likewise, nothing touches this magnanimity of my character, which I would unfold by chapter and verse. Remember those T V serials where the characters trot around in designer clothes to portray poverty. That grandeur was nothing but a makeup to protect the weak hearted from over reacting to the portrayed poverty on the screen. Who said that entertainment should be hilarious or factual?

If it is only a comedy, how then the weak hearts will identify themselves with the heroines always suffer unending hardships, if it is a mega serial? Heart attacks be damned. After reading this preamble, Karna himself might readily permit me to use a feminine and anti-version of him. After marking the distinction between the weak heart and the magnanimity filled heart, I will try my best to portray the character, not to rival Karna but to warn a few, who stumble upon and cautiously tread through this blog.

Do familiarise yourselves with acronyms like BPL (below poverty line), NHNTPL (neither here nor there, trishank poverty line), APL (above poverty line) and tubers (veggies and electronic varieties need no introduction). Tubers such as Onion, garlic shallot and leek to rub and activate your tear glands! The electronic tubers add a few 'hosted' channels to guide you towards liberation from karma ,evil designs and miracles that promise counter-influence against anything on earth. 

The acronyms have the screenplay ready and the ‘tubers’, vegetables and electronics, eager to pen the dialogues. Now you have a seat in the front row to the unfolding diorama “The Lady Karna". This home maker having totalled up a healthy dose of tear-jerking serials, has now come to the stage, donning the Avtar of the lady version of Karna. Please welcome her or otherwise… 

Such is her irresistible aura of awe that even the cockroaches in her house, don’t dare to twiddle their feelers during day time! No person living or yet to be born has a chance of going against her wishes. 

Her basic understanding of the original character has come from books, T V serials and cinemas that bruced up the story and character, leaving an indelible imprint in the mind. Brimming with frustration, this cloned character was straining at the leash to break free. 

The Karna of Mahabharat gave away whatever belonged to him to whomever asked for it. Flipping it over, our lady Karna decided to give away whatever, her’s or others', even when nobody specifically asked for it. This cupboard cleaning darbar attracted many people who thought, why not and why not for one more time? 

Arrival of new clothes signalled the departure of not so old clothes. Groceries bought and found in excess opted themselves to be given away. Being an APL family, the ration card and its commodities drew the BPL, NHNTPL card holders, like honeybees to nectar. After collecting their secondary ‘rations’, they impressed upon the Lady Karna to keep the ration card always updated. 

This secondary ration consumers mounted Indirect pressure on the head of family, to keep the card current, though he wanted to get out of doles however insignificant it was. The lady Karna banged the ball hard to get this searing bouncer," You may not want those items but I can give it away to somebody who is in need of them.  It will accumulate positive karma and spiritual points". She had opened a current secondary derivative market to operate a future derivative market! 

More than the serials, the fact that those who avail the benevolence own EV scooters impacted the head of family very hard.  The head of family, as per the ration card in question, tries to duck unde the bouncer, fearing bruised ego - " I am not interested in operating a secondary outlet for ration items. It is negative karma as we are trying to take credit on the subsidy given by a government." His -ve karma based moral standing floundered as the ‘pitch’ was a vicious turner and bowler-friendly and the secondary outlet kept winning. 

As part of her MPKGD (Mega Positive Karma Gathering Drive) lady Karna sets her eyes on temple runs, not the usual election eve runs, to guide people (willing, suffering or weak-willed) by herding them to earn spiritual credits of a different ATM version, to reduce the good karma deficit in their ledgers. In the hidden corner of her mind, maybe, she was thinking “will the wind be partial, while blowing?" Is not a fruit falling on to your lap, a gift? 

Whether the Karna of Mahabharat entertained this sort of thinking in his mind during every benevolent act has not been explicitly scribed by the savants. In the absence of such a constraint, the lady Karna took it under advisement and to her advantage! 

The Karana of Mahabharat gave away to place the recipient on a better footing, aiming to improve their life. He might have also fed and clothed the poor and destitute. The lady Karna believes and advocates, that feeding the bakhts, who come in droves by buses, mini buses or by cars, by contributing to annadhan schemes paves the road to the lotus or jasmine feet of the Supreme. Little does she realise it is like "feeding ones' own mouth by oneself” as later on the bakhts themselves will  be encouraged (soft touch), prevailed upon (hard touch) by her to donate to the same annadhan schemes. 

The lady Karna then gets to the business of sheepishly publicising her own and initiated acts, towards depositing positive karma points for easing the pains of the “now life" and for the ease of living in the "afterlife". Her take on the publicity- if it is for spreading the message of +ve karma then no negative karma will attach to that act!” 

The Karna of Mahabharat never thought or had someone sage enough to advise him on the possibility of earning "given away mileage" out of all his acts of magnanimity. Fortunately, or by providence, he had no such shackles and did everything on his own freewill. The case of lady Karna echoes the freewill part but denies the same for the head of family when it comes to the ration card. Maybe, he was not worried about the ease of living in the afterlife, when the ‘now life’ itself is not rosy. And, he was not afraid of meeting with Yamadharmaraj! 

The last straw on the camel’s proverbial back, for the head of family, was the constant pestering to buy a new this or that appliance, so that some other resident things could be retired and shown the door. 

You may wonder why this topic interested me. Worried about Lady Karna falling prey to false hope of earning +ve karma, encouraging false hopes in the minds of why not and why not for one more time type to bank on the availability of secondary, sympathetic ration outlet, encouraging clothes awaiting rotation freedom will roam on any shoulder syndrome, easily repairable items thinking it will find its way into second hand market. 

Since there was no such bank to withdraw a sum of patience, he thought of taking some   bold steps. He remembered the wise sayings attributed to Albert Einstein, his idol cum hero for corralling space & time, in one go! He had said, “A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.” He almost questioned Mr. Einstein, “why you missed the foolish person who could not leave the problem?” 

Coming back to the present, he decided to become cleverly wise, instead of cleverly solving or wisely avoiding a problem, he decided to turn the table on the problem. The problem being the acts of his better half, the lady Karna. It was like a mathematical theorem taught along with riders (person &acts). 

He had been silently cataloguing the numerous totes, hand bags, shoulder-hang ons, jewel box (w/o jewels) and a few chocolate tins (foreign brands) gifted by her relatives and ever since active in gathering dust and occupying space. He decided that the time has come to empty the space. When a foolish act is about to be committed, opportunities come calling. The usual ‘why not and why not for one more time’ crowd came, collected the collectibles and left bearing the gifts thinking that the head of family had decided to reap a bumper crop of +ve karma! 

The inevitable mahayudh with words aided by gnashing teeth, on either side, raged for an hour and ended when a smoke-filled carbonaceous smell overwhelmed the warriors. Fire fighting in the kitchen took precedence over war of words. Automatically, white flags rose and task of ventilating the smoke screen fell on the head of the family. The home maker ordered a Swiggy lunch. The after effect? Everything started with a ration card and should it not end it all? Lady Karna became ex-lady Karna and head of family rushed to surrender the ration card. 

Experience under the belt, the head of family decided to advice other APL card holders with a message, “A rose plant needs pruning and nipping”. He hoped this cryptic message would get absorbed and acted upon by the concerned.

Mooshik in court: 350

The other day, Ganesha and Mooshik were discussing about types of people who almost entered the wayside temple. Suddenly, a motley crowd bearing banners and raising slogans passed by. As usual Ganesha did not pay much attention, but Mooshik was all ears and eyes. His eyes captured the dust storm rising, in heavenly defiance, from that cul-de-sac road.  

Repeated representation from the devotees fell on dust clogged ears. Earlier, the administration claimed paucity of funds and now thought why to waste money on a cul-de-sac and left it alone! 

When the dust finally settled, Ganesh asked Mooshik, "Why are you silent?" 

My Lord, you have a long pipe for a nose but my hole in the face type nostrils get clogged easily. Some enterprising dust particles might sneak through the defenses and tickle my throat. Moreover, I am allergic to way side dust, here by your abode. 

Ganesha, chiding himself for asking this open-ended question. He thought, "Why nowadays, Mooshik is becoming a jibe master at every available opportunity? Let me get to the bottom of it here and now!" 

What is troubling you, Mooshik?

Nothing that is in your powers to resolve.

Taken aback, he persisted, “why such a defeatist attitude, even before sharing with me your trouble?"

"That is the trouble. Because what I have to say will go straight to your heart and make you to feel bad about me." 

"No hard feelings. I am dying to hear it!"

Your decision. But don't regret it afterwards. I have a troubling matter to discuss with a judge."

"You mean to say that not me but a human being would be able to help you!"

"Yes. Because it is a legal matter"

What? You have legal matters to deal with?

Yes.  A PIL. 

What is so special about him? And how are you going to find him?

There are two reasons.  He happens to be a freewheeling   judge, ready to conduct a trial on any matter. The second is, he specialises only in PIL or suo motu cases. It may surprise you to know that me and    others like me, search for information by tailing-in on to the network connecting way side temples.” 

Becoming wary of Mooshik and the others, Ganesha said, “Have you not witnessed, my devotees banging coconuts in anger at my feet, because the justice they sought kept on moving farther and farther. Desist and live with whatever legal issues you have" 

Ganesha, fearing exactly this sort of advice from you, have I not indirectly indicated that you have no power to help me in this regard. 

Ganesha's trunk was about to whack Mooshik but held it back in time for two reasons. To spare Mooshik from becoming a pulp. Even with rampant unemployment, it would be difficult to find a replacement for Mooshik.  He thought "Coming up with jibe was pardonable but beginning to address me by name needs a censure. But for the time being, let me enjoy this escapade with Mooshik." 

In suitably attire, both of them reached the judge’s house. He appeared to be impatient to start something but did not know with what! This reminded Mooshik of the ants scurrying around a piece of jaggery, while discussing what to do with it! The moment his eyes fell on the visitors, the judge stopped searching for that something to do. Remembering that he had left the doors wide open, he decided not to question them how dare they enter without permission. 

Mooshik said, “I have an issue”

The judge: A PILbased on newspaper item?

Mooshik: A PIL but not the usual type. It is on Publicly letting down Institutions of Law. 

While Ganesha wondered where in the wayside temple, Mooshik had picked up this legalese. It placed the judge was in a quandary as to how to deal with this PLI? Whenever in doubt, the judge either doodled or whittled away wood!  His eyes fell on the walking stick he carried to ward off stray dogs. 

Seizing it in one hand, he came up with a pen knife in the other hand and started whittling with vigour. Instantly, his doubt vacated itself and he announced, “It will be a suo motu case” and asked them, “Have you engaged a counsellor?” 

Ganesha, beginning to enjoy the escapade, pre-empting Mooshik, answered in the negative. Judge: No problem. I have two seasoned lawyers. Don’t you worry about their legal fees. They appear exclusively in my court to do pro bono work. Let me track them down as they often vanish without a trace. Come to my chamber at 9 AM with your brief. AT 10 AM sharp, the proceedings will start. After casting a curious look at the judge and his productive whittling, Ganesha pulled Mooshik out of the judge’s house. 

The moment they were out of earshot, the judge tried calling his in-house counsellors. Getting no response, he hurried out to hunt them down, counting the number of hours left till 9 AM of tomorrow. It was past noon, when by pure chance he found himself standing behind them in line at a ‘serve yourself’ eatery. From that moment onwards, the judge followed them like in the rhyme “Mary had a little lamb.” Before a morsel of food could be lifted off from the plate, the judge informed, “You two have a pro bono work. Be in my chamber at 9.30 AM. Now let us enjoy our lunch.”   The duo suffered their lunch in silence. 

The next day, by 9 AM, Ganesha and Mooshik entered the chamber. Mooshik handed over a file and after getting the judge’s nod started to explain, “Nowadays, people in or out of it, find it or do it, as an exploit aimed at providing mass entertainment and to hoodwink everyone. A deep analysis tells a different story of attempts being made to evade and avoid ‘behind the bar time’. The judiciary tied down with strings of its own robes’ to be impartial, gets the go around. Enterprising litigants try to shop for a favourable bench, by firing recusal petitions or SLPs. The judges, except for their tied-up robes and gavels, have no protection from these assaults.” 

Mouth hanging agape, the judge looked at Ganesha who was equally surprised to hear such a lucid presentation. The judge did the next best thing - announced a recess. He needed time to digest the outburst. 

The pro bono counsellors walked in, as the judge’s grandfather time piece raised a weak alarm, straining itself. Without human intervention, it stopped on its own, as it had only that much energy for the day. The duo wondered, why the judge needed an alarm, of all the places in his chamber. As the alarm stopped ringing, the judge appeared from under his table looking like an apparition in judicial robes, clutching a bunch of loose papers. 

Recovering quickly, he outlined the PIL as per Mooshik’s definition and informed them, “I am treating it as a suo motu case. No pretrial, post-trial motions will be entertained. But I have a motion to move at the start, which I shall of course accept. Go through this case file and be ready with arguments. Hearing starts at 10 AM”.

With only few minutes to prepare, they agreed by eye blinks that they would find ways to wing it after hearing the judge’s motion.

"Feeling the expressed anguish, the court moves a motion to allow everyone present, to put forth their views on the case. Though prima facie it would appear to be a violation in the eyes of codified law, I agree to my own motion.

What made me to think that this motion would stand legal scrutiny? The law exists for the people and people exist with a bounden duty to safeguard the very same law. Aristotle, Cicero, Socrates and our own Supreme Court have guided me to do so. Now, the court room is open to hear the arguments." 

It had the desired effect. It left Ganesha, Mooshik in utter confusion, not knowing what it all is about and dumped the pro bono counsellors in the grey area between sanity and insanity. 

The judge nodded at Ganesha. Not making any effort to raise his frame, he said " Since there are governing rules, no one has the license to violate it. This applies to all - gods, humans and other life forms". 

Before the judge could admonish Ganesha for not starting with a thank you my lord, Mooshik added, " Including the aliens. ", and sat down. The pro bono counsellors now had the plane to fly in their arguments. 

On his part, the judge was entertaining another motion to exclude Ganesha and Mooshik, but including the gods and aliens in his judgement would definitely take it out of this legal world. Binning this motion the judge exclaimed, "How in heaven, gods and aliens come into picture here and into the lawbooks? It is out of jurisprudence!” 

The senior counsellor, looking for a gap to take off replied " Relevant as they also have to follow the rules, may be of physics or chemistry or physiology." The junior counsellor silently applauded this argument which was nothing but a winging it attempt. 

Ganesha immediately objected and said, " In enthusiastic overflow we have included gods and aliens. Too much should not be read into that." 

Junior counsellor seized up on this exclusion attempt and argued." This is an attempt to circumvent, on behalf of gods and aliens. Then, how can we fault the in-power and out of power public figures, which precisely this suo motu is attempting to do!" 

The judge was taken aback by his nephew ‘s rejoinder. He mused "After all, this apple had not fallen far from the family tree!" 

Mooshik, in defense of Ganesha and said " The law governing the gods and aliens are not in the purview of this court. There are appropriate mechanisms to deal with, elsewhere. The question before this court is - why the in-power and out of power netas are getting the chance to impute or thumb their noses at the judiciary?" 

That only functioning bulb with anaemic glow started flickering in the mind of the judge. He realised that the litigants Mooshik and Ganesha are not ordinary persons. 

The senior pro bono counsellor saw his chance and reinforced Mooshik’s point, “I urge the court to take a dim view of this type of intrusions into the sections and sub-sections of penal codes, with malicious intent to tie the hands of judiciary and jurisprudence. If the in-power and out of power Netas hold the reins, then even the rite to bang the gavel will be lost”. This last sentence unsettled the judge. 

He gravely announced, “Having said, heard and intuitively understood all those unspoken arguments, I am ready to pronounce the judgement, after a brief recess of an hour.” 

Ganesha and Mooshik wondered why a recess now, if he is ready?  The pro bono counsellors moved over to explain to them that after the hearing concludes, the judge collates the arguments, does research  on  legal precedents, drafts, corrects before pronouncing a judgement. We have to wait. 

One minute past the hour, the judge took his seat on the bench. Glancing at the litigants and the pro bono counsellors, he started to read, “Law lives to outlive those who crafted it and who try to hoodwink it. It has centuries of history spanning continents and civilizations. It apparently looks powerless against the in-power and out of power public figures, but the long arm of law always catches up. When a public figure has lost the confidence of people, he or she has already lost the battle with law. However, if not acted upon decisively and swiftly, then the law itself will become a joke. If judiciary does not get its act together and nip the cactus at its root, all of us will be forced to suffer the thorns.” 

Banging the gavel forcefully many times, the judge left the bench, without leaving instruction as to what to do with his judgement! Ganesha, Mooshik and the pro bono counsellors silently exited, surprised at the vehement delivery of the verdict. 

Mooshik applies a Power brake: 345

 The recently consecrated, wayside temple turned out to be a disappointment for the trustee. A force majeure - the bylane now became a cul de sac as the end of the lane has been permanently blocked. 

For the presiding deity Ganesha and his inseparable co-squatter Mooshik, the bylane becoming a cul de sac turned out to be a force majeure blessing in disguise. The trustee had his worries, Ganesha and Mooshik had time to ponder. 

Suddenly Mooshik broke the silence. “One look, he appears scholarly, another look he hangs out like an illiterate. Third look gives you the feeling that he is a philosopher and the fourth takes your breath away, you can see through him.” 

Ganesha: What about the fifth and the sixth and the seventh? 

Mooshik: I am yet to come there. Have a little patience. If you want, I will talk about the first four.  

Ganesha mentally calculated the odds and liked the even number that turned up.

He said, Go ahead. Why did you assume it was a scholarly look?

Mooshik: He looked at you and then at me. Then spent some time looking at the sky. Again, looked at you and then at me for a few more seconds. Then looked at the tree and stood like a statue for considerable time. Now in the second feature, the illiteracy surfaced.

Ganesha: What did he do now?

Mooshik: He stood looking at you with a frozen look, then ...

Ganesha becoming curious asked, "Tell me. Then what happened?" 

Mooshik: It was the feature of the philosopher, I saw. He was trying to swath himself in philosophical ropes and then encircle us. That look was really disturbing. It had an incisive, probing and questioning.

After scrutinizing me for a few moments, the probing eyes shifted their focus on you.  My Lord, the relief washing over my entire body, to say the least, was heavenly. 

Ganesha instantly became concerned. Now, a fully relieved Mooshik will wax eloquent adding extra appendages to unsettle him. But at the same time, he felt happy that Mooshik had no power to unseat him.  He asked. ,"What about see-through look?" 

Mooshik feeling a little worried said, "Let me describe the other impression I got from that 'seeing through' person. He did not look at the sky, did not alternate from me to you, did not stand still like a statue and lastly did not send probing looks at either of us. This was scary and hairs on my entire body stood and stayed up respectfully. The bone chilling see-through feature held me in awe and fear.” 

Ganesha became irritated to note that Mooshik’s tail never stood up as a mark of respect for him.  How dares he, now to admit that the hairs on his entire body stood and stayed up to show respect to the feature of a mortal? 

Ganesh started sensing a sort of Asura character trying to break through this current Avatar of Mooshik. He could easily cut his tail short, but Mooshik without tail ...both of them will be looking odd, even in the makeshift shelters called wayside temples. 

Deciding to search for a punishment involving less disfigurement, Ganesha questioned him, “Why the awe? Why the fear?’ 

“The see-through feature was not only for visual inspection. He could tune it to intercept brainwaves. In that short time, he managed to capture and decode our brainwaves, just like that! 

To allow Ganesha to recover his poise, Mooshik asked, “Willing to hear a story what my Asura guru used to tell to make us believe in optimism?” 

Ganesha thinking that it might be less scary and interesting, said “go on”. 

Mooshik: A lion was caught and kept in an enclosure. Every day a knot of people stood outside the enclosure and gazed at it. Initially the lion became angry and frustrated as he could not do anything about it, except belt out some mighty roars. As time passed by, it started looking at things a little differently. It was getting food, water, medical aid and alone time every day and on time. Slowly it started to build upon these positives to become an optimist. It started to think that one day it will come out of the enclosure. 

Ganesha: What this story has to do with your observations? 

Mooshik: I learnt a new perspective to the feeling called optimism. Earlier I used to spend some ‘disappointed’ times, in comparing the difference in status between us. Now, with the old story, new perspective and the changing face of that person has boosted my optimism to a different level.  

Ganesha became curious, perplexed and worried to know where this all would lead! He asked. "Is it the end of that story?" 

Mooshik: No. The second part was much more powerful. Want to hear it now?

Ganesha: Whether I want or not, you are not going to stop. But let me hear it at the end. You had sufficient time as a face reader. Now tell me what was all going through that person's mind?  

Mooshik: As a scholar, he was trying to fit you and me in a mathematical equation, subject us to chemical reactions and compare us with known physical concepts. Short of nuclear reactions, he tried out everything.

Ganesha:  Finally, what did he do? 

Mooshik: What else? Added one universal constant and kept quiet.

Ganesha: Did he understand us?

Mooshik: No. But he will make another attempt, soon. The lesser educated person’s case is simple to solve.

Ganesha: How?

Mooshik: This face had worries written all over it. Not having many equations to try out, he banked on the age-old practice.

Ganesha: What was it?

Mooshik: To accept us with nucleated doubts. 

Ganesha was a bit taken up by the term nucleated doubts. He looked at Mooshik suspiciously but kept quiet fearing a fissioning doubt or a fissioning doubt. Nodded at Mooshik to continue. 

Mooshik: The feature of the philosopher exhibited the struggles to find strings of confusing thoughts and express them in equally confusing sentences, in the vain hope that someone will understand them. 

Ganesha: To understand us, why he needs to be philosophical and confused?

Mooshik: In human life, it doesn't work simply like that. This face needs a base of believers in his form of philosophy to accept himself as what he wanted the base to understand him first. His philosophy as much as I could decode is ‘strong and broad base maketh a tall edifice.’ 

Ganesha: With this sort of thinking, do you hope he will understand and accept us? 

Mooshik: I am not sure. Only time and his philosophy can tell that!

Ganesha:  Then why at all have a philosophy in the first place?

Mooshik:  This is beyond me. Probably the next time, he will leave us with some clue!

Ganesha:  Common, what about the see-through face?

Mooshik: What should I say? Did I not talk about the icy-chill experience of his probing eyes. Even now, it gives me jitters. 

Ganesha: Mooshik, stop the chatter and tell me the operative part? 

Mooshik: He had intercepted the brainwaves of the other three persona. But if he had stopped there it would have been good....” 

Ganesha: Do I hear asides between you and your brain? Are you worried about saying them aloud. Be a sport Mooshik! 

Mooshik: Ok. Here it goes. He intercepted my thinking and understood my level, both at the physical & philosophical level. And on intercepting your brainwaves he thought, how come an extolled deity be so naive and believe that devotees and their devotion is his strength, ... If had stopped there ...” 

Ganesha: Common, I can't bear any more suspense. 

Mooshik: in spite of possessing the physical and philosophical reach. 

Ganesha felt sheepish for having egged on Mooshik. He could have stopped after hearing the word strength. Hmm, will the water let out of a dam come back to it? 

At an inopportune moment, Mooshik asked whether he could complete his Asura guru’s second part of the story. 

Ganesha knitting his eyebrows together, simply shook his head. The philosophical feature had laid the groundwork for the see-through feature to apply the power brake. He closed his eyes to analyse why his physical, philosophical reach had not helped him to be a ‘sophisticated god’ instead of being categorized as ‘naïve’.