What a surgical strike!

The moon ‘s fuzzy/fudgy phases, with occasional double act or the enlightened streetlights exhibiting halos had messages for me. Being an astronomy buff, the fudgy moon troubled me. Keeping these secrets to myself, I happily read and wrote, for well over three years, without my glasses. Secrets could be buried but cataract cannot be hidden forever. Detecting the cataract in my eyes, my family members used every opportunity to push me for a surgery. I resisted, not because of any apprehension but for other reasons.

(1) To give them a chance to grumble about it and exchange notes on cataracts in general and about my case in particular with statistics like age, occupation and severity. (2) To keep me unsettled, they could brag about the history of relatives and friends, who have weathered this storm and sincerely resumed work on the next day! (3) Another opening, for them to take pot shots at me to let out some of bottled-up stress and rub some salt in, even though my doctor had advised me to control its intake. (4) If I do not have enough articles, I might end up with the few readers migrating to other pages, because I did not know how long the period of rest will be.

None of this mattered to them. Continuing their efforts, they finally succeeded in herding me in to an ophthalmologist’s consulting room. The doctor, after carrying out a sting operation with dilating drops, viewed my eyes through his gadgets. Down the alphabet line, the medium and ant-sized letters hedged and fudged my vision. The doctor had me there, cleanly caught and bold. Satisfied with my struggle, he scrawled on my mark sheet, with fractions. The Right Eye managing 6/36 and Left Eye scoring 6/60. I did not know whether to be pleased or disappointed with it. Anyways, I was afraid to ask him which score was better!

The conclusion - both the eyes had cataracts and he will be happy to do the honours of removing them, for a fee!  With a pep talk, he sold the idea of surgery within seven days of each other, and pointed out that the convalescence period would run concurrently. He assured me that the operated eyes will sparkle like gems, in a month!

To postpone the surgery, I hedged my bets by arguing about my eyesight being in perfect order for reading, writing and to help with normal household chores. My family members vociferously denied my help in household chores and froze me with an Arctic stare. The doctor, stepping up his pressure, threatened me of possible complications in delaying surgery. With the family standing stubborn, and the doctor warning of dire consequences, I agreed. Not because of this consulting room nexus but due to another powerful force acting on me to move along.

A few days earlier, my grandson staring at my eyes exclaimed, “Grandpa, there are solar eclipses in progress. Soon, I may be able to see the ring of fire in your eyes. If lucky, I might even get to witness the rare, simultaneous, twin total solar eclipses!” This astronomical bombshell stunned me, but I took the hit with a smile. After all, it was me who had taken him into the world of astronomy. Can I complain now? He had used what he had learnt! 

At home, I quietly troubled google on cataract and ended up browsing websites of hospitals, in other continents. I understood the culprit to be the protein family - alpha, beta and gamma Crystallins and fibers coming together to form the natural lens of the eyes. Over a period of time, this protein and fibers could break down to form the clump and develop into a cataract. Why did I collect only thew information and not about the surgical procedure? 

A few minor surgeries, under my skin (or under the belt), have given me the general idea.  Like I had done in the case of those minor surgeries, I wanted to collect only the information on cataract. But a surgeon getting twice into my eyes is, anyway going to be a different experience. 

To keep the pressure on, my family members got busy. Parallel channels were opened to collect more information.  Persons who have become veterans after enduring the surgery were contacted over cell phones.  A list of hospitals, at Uberable distances, was compiled using variety of search engines on the internet. The cricket enthusiast, did himself proud by collating all the above information. He had set his filter to select that hospital which had a better strike rate. It turned out to be the hospital where the ophthalmologist, whom I had consulted performed surgeries. This lit a little puzzle in my mind – coincidence or a ‘theesra’ bowled by the cricket enthusiast! What unnerved me was the would-be surgeon’s bragging that he the fastest surgical hands, on record! 

True to his words, the surgeon spent under 15 minutes to insert an IOL for my right eye.  Devious guy, he had not mentioned about the pre-op processing time of 60 to 90 minutes, probably his trade secret! After a week, without any option, I willingly submitted myself for a repeat performance, for the removal of cataract from the other eye.  The doctor becoming more concerned, perhaps for his reputation, gave me an operating manual to take care of my eyes. 

Since I could not read it, immediately after each surgery, staff nurses bombarded me twice – once for each eye, with an audio-visual presentation. The given timetable effectively interfered with sleep and other normal activities. Like all good things in life, this manual came along with *conditions apply clauses, proscribing everything except breathing and to keep shut eye with wraparound glass. The nursing staff spared no effort to drive home these points. They subtly exhorted me, almost a borderline warning - when we care, why should you not comply with? A just in and out affair, had blown-up into 5 weeks of medication and penance. 

The aftermath of this double surgical strike came with ample spare time. I was totally unprepared as neither Google had warned me about this nor I had any contingency plan to deal with it, every day, for the next 5 weeks.  I started a guessing game. How surgeons will circumvent such hurdles?  By mentally revising case notes, recalling articles from medical journals, or by remembering tough cases and botched up ones that still rankled? After all they too have another active schedule with eye drops and ointments, to follow! Straying a bit off field, I wondered how professionals in other fields will manage to survive this boredom?  From my frame of reference, the second hand appeared to be taking it easy to complete a lap, on the face of the clock, stretching the minute. Except for spending a few minutes, this exercise did not make any impression on the clock. I mentally cursed it.

This frustration at the clock reminded of a similar feeling, I had suffered a few years ago. Then it was my inability to remember the name of a stranger, who claimed to be my schoolmate. Now, it is the same inability to find a way to pass time. The stranger had given me two clues to help - shared P T classes, and my teaser name when the alphabets are written in the reverse order. Watching the hovering cloud of confusion on my face, he left a piece of paper with his contact number, challenging me to recall his name and then contact him for a tete- a- tete to munch over bygone days.  After much effort and literally bruising my memory cells, I remembered his name and we had that get-together.

Once again, my grandson came to the rescue with a humorous take on my current predicament.  After reading the conditions apply clauses, he rolled over laughing. I asked him what was so funny, in there? 

He replied, “Here it says self-shaving, after a week from the day of operation.”

“Ok, where is the fun in this shaving routine?”

“Grandpa, will you not look funny with one cheek shaved clean and the other with prickly growth! Remember, the surgeries were done one week apart.”

I could not help but to laugh with him. The cataract surgery had brought in a lighter moment to my otherwise upcoming, bleak convalescence period. 

Will the days of boredom, simply fly off the calendar? Instead of sitting idle, I decided to help it by stretching wings of my memory muscles. I silently thanked the stranger-turned-schoolmate for his suggestion - “Try a little mental-gymnastics and you too can recollect my name”. This ignited the spark to go on a mental tour. Still, I could not stop wondering how he unerringly identifies me, after a gap of decades! 

The manual advised, “Can resume office work after a week.”  And so, I became a memory mining archaeologist, to dig up archived faces and names. The goal - to match faces and names of at least 900 acquaintance/colleagues/friends. This appealing number became the target to wrestle with the remaining 4 weeks of inactivity. The self-imposed rider - only those with whom I have had personal or professional interaction might surely make this exercise an interesting one, I hoped. 

After many raids into my memory bank, I located the archived photographs and the roster filled with names.  Had I anticipated this contingency, probably I would have stored them as matched files. Now, for easy viewing the stack of photos needed creation of a revolving gallery in my mind’s eye. To expedite the process of matching, the roster with names became a scrollable screen. Eager to mark the passage of the second week and to overcome inertia, I gently prodded my memory muscles to get moving.  I dangled the carrot to start the match making of face with the appropriate name, as it has the photo gallery and the scrollable roster placed side by side. Having suffered at my hands, the second week elapsed. 

Third and fourth weeks had plenty of frustration in store. Chief among them was that I would get the prescription for reading glasses, only at the end of the fifth week. To work around this, I decided to identify and write down one or two names at a time, keeping eye strain and medication schedule in mind. Slow but had the benefit of doing something for the day. Sometimes the face and name came rolled out like marbles and sometimes reluctantly came out like a thick liquid. Easy ones were of persons with constant interaction. 

Some names introduced themselves with unique tags, like passwords with a sprinkling of special characters. In the case of individuals, with whom I had not developed a long-term friendship, it was slightly difficult to match. There waited a group of people to ambush me, part of my academic and professional life, and make the task of identifying them tough. Some of them, cleverly withheld their names but gladly teased me with their faces. Some names cropped up repeatedly without revealing their matching faces. A face I recognised, vainly attempted to get fixed to a vaguely remembered name, or a name adamantly tried to go with an out of focus face. Is this lot suffering an attack of Identity crisis or it me who is suffering with an identifying crisis?  I don’t know! 

The fourth week was a real pressure cooker. Resolute plodding, rock-solid determination and splitting of many hairs, resulted in identification of 890 persons, spanning nearly seven decades, after satisfying the condition of my own stipulation! The last ten names and photos tormented me with similar names and unfamiliar faces.  As if to mock my futile efforts, they unilaterally opposed any compromise solution. The imminent arrival of the fifth week also added some anxiety factor, to aid this pressure buildup.  Frustrated and trapped in my own Waterloo (Sorry Monsieur Napolean Bonaparte), I decided to contact Mr. Alois Alzheimer, for advice. 

Finally, the fifth week arrived.  The surgeon, who assured me of sparkling eyes, admired his handiwork (could have done it without the stinging liquid drops) and graded my reading test with   R/E 6/9, 6/6P & L/E 6/6, 6/6. Turning his laser sharp eyes at me, he pronounced the ‘all OK’ and sent me out for spectacles. 

Ignoring the defeat and Waterloo, wearing the newly procured specs, I got down to the task of organising my notes under academic, professional and personal interaction. The mental hunt, kindled nostalgia, euphoria over professional contributions and a flood of shared conversations was deeply satisfying. To tease me ,  my grandson came up with another crisp remark – “Preserve these notes, maybe next time around, you can fill in addresses and contact numbers also!” 

All this happened only because of the forced convalescence period. My advice to those who have to undergo surgery and rest for a month or more - have a mental game ready.

Ganesha meets with Brahma

After mulling over the explanations, Ganesha wanted to get to the bottom and understand the behaviour of his devotees, as well as Mooshik’s classification of enlightened ones. Ganesha had a sneaking doubt, whether his sit-in companion was trying to pull a fast one, to get even with the devotees for not worshipping him? Setting his doubts aside, Ganesha started talking to Mooshik. 

Mooshik, what makes these devotees to behave like this?

How would I know? Mooshik gave a terse reply.

Who would and could clear my doubt?

Have you not heard that saying -when in doubt, play the trumpet card! Another disinterested reply.

What trump card and who has it?

Who else other than the Creator of these devotees! A curt reply.

Oh, if that is the case, let us go over and meet with Brahma. Long eons have passed since I had a one-to-one with him... 

With a reluctant Mooshik accompanying him, Ganesha reached Brahma Lok. 

Brahma reminisced, “How could I forget the shower bath Ganesha gave me, from his trunk filled with river water?”

Ganesha recollected, "How could I forget the divine relationship between us notwithstanding the pranks, I played?"  Their eons old tete-a -tete was playing in mind, Brahma welcomed Ganesha with open arms and broad smiles. Not privy to this bonding chemistry between them, Mooshik looked on in confusion. Observing this, Brahma flashed a smile of acknowledgement at him, which thrilled Mooshik. 

Now, Ganesha what brings you here?

Mooshik has come up with a curious definition on types of enlightened ones and a puzzling finding on the behaviour of devotees. In fact, Mooshik made an impressive presentation, covering a spectrum of devotees using coloured panels. 

Brahma said, “Indeed, it was very interesting to hear and watch. I mean, the explanation as well as the presentation.”

Ganesh was shocked but could not accuse Brahma of eavesdropping. How could he ?  He himself was guilty of overhearing Mooshik’s mumblings! With tongue in cheek, he asked, “Can you clear my doubts?”

“Enlightenment is perspective driven. For example, the layers of bricks are content in having been used to support the last layer to finish the work. At the same time the top layer thinks about the layers of bricks which brought it to this exalted position. From each one's perspective this happiness or gratitude is enlightenment.” 

What is your next doubt. Is it regarding the classification Mooshik had come up with, on this subject? 

Yes, indeed. 

“Enlightenment is like an abstract painting or a latent characteristic. It has to be felt, experienced and interpreted. Vocalising on it or about it, is like beating a drum in wilderness. Who will hear it? If it is done for getting appreciated, then it is no more an enlightenment than a burnt-out wick. This burnt-out wick is the lesson wisdom will eventually teach to those categories, classified by Mooshik, and by recognising that truth the drum beater would become an enlightened one!

Ganesha, note the subtle manner in which Mooshik had used the past, present and future - a product from the time scale, invented by humans. Mooshik had chosen it as a tool of wisdom to teach a lesson to these classes of enlightened ones!  Here, he had come up with an interesting concept by referring to past, present and future for these enlightened ones. There is a clever reminder that their so-called arbitrary scale named time also has a past, present and future, however small it would be made to suit their convenience. In this reminder, he had vested a future beyond the current future of the smallest fraction of time.” 

Ganesha felt like an errant disciple, getting his ears tweaked hard. Looking for a way out, he asked, “I am not seeing him here, where is Chitragupta?”

Brahma quipped, “He is on a secret mission to places unknown to anyone. Are getting upset with my lecture or by Mooshik’s acute thinking?”

Denying any such thoughts, Ganesha hurriedly replied, “I felt, the next part about the painted panels and devotees would probably interest Chitragupta to come up with a different perspective. That is why I enquired about him.”

Brahma continued “This what is my opinion on the subject of colours. It has shades of philosophy. Mooshik made the statement that no colour is pristine pure. The white light is a combination of red, blue and green colours. Citing nature as an example, he had made it universal and easy to understand. 

Regarding your dilemma about the behavioural pattern, the explanation is long and starts from the dawn of awareness in mankind. Awareness of fear of unknown sowed the seeds of devotion. Time was another such awareness and this played a crucial role, later.  Over a period, this devotion grew and spread among more groups of people. This gathering, forming the backbone of devotion, became the devotees.  

Don’t you know that whenever more of another quantity is added, the original concentration gets diluted.  This holds good for devotion and devotees too. People naturally started to vary the proportions to find out what happens? Here curiosity played a key role. You may wonder why people should be born to be curious. How else will I make them to learn about themselves and their environment? From then on, it is like a cart on a slope. It keeps going till a break down occurs or brake is applied or exhausts all its energy.  

I will explain why devotees behave as pointed out by Mooshik. You know that experiments sometimes go out of control, yielding unexpected outcomes? Precisely, that is happening here. The reason is the search for an easy-to-fix solution for a problem, that confronts so many in different geographical locations. Each affected person considers it unique and labels ‘self’ as a victim, and stands in front of deities. Then depending on the success and failure rates of the pleas, and fall into any one of the categories described.

Dear Ganesha, Gajamukhasura after becoming Mooshik has come a long way. He had shed arrogance and in place has filled up with the wisdom of delving deep into human relationship with their deities. In this analysis, he has showcased his knack in ferreting out their inner thinking. What a lucid explanation he had given about enlightenment, by presenting a thought-provoking canvas on devotees of various types!

I know the real reason why you came to me?  Not seeking clarification but to present your achievement in turning an Asura into an erudite scholar. Well done, Ganesha. If I could not guess this much, then what would be the use for our mutually alternating roles of a guru and shishya will have?” 

Mission accomplished, Ganesha was getting ready to leave but Brahma's words prevented him from doing so.  

"Ganesha, there is one more doubt in your mind. You wanted to but refrained from asking about it. Is it not?"

Mooshik was confused with this new turn in the discussions and tried to guess what it could be.  Ganesha, sensing what was coming, squirmed in the seat uncomfortably. This silent tableau reminded Mooshik of a mouse caught in a trap.  

Brahma continued, "Nature itself does not remain constant forever - stars are born, age and explode or quietly shut down. Likewise, the genes in humans have been changing from the time when fear held the key to the present when they have the tools to seek and produce scientific explanations. 

This is one side of the story. The other contributors are the devotees themselves - neither self-confident nor willing to place absolute faith in the deities. dispensations They desire to ride partly on self-confidence and partly on faith. In this process, and for variety, they vary the percentages in both these options, taking it as a game of permutation and combination. You wanted to know what role am I playing here? Let me make it clear. The devotees are the look out of deities, and I have no role or a trump card to play. I hope, now, you have the answer for your unasked doubt!” 

Ganesha accepted Brahma's observations. Mooshik, who remained observant and silent, wondered why to come all the way here, to hear Brahma praising Ganesha and me!  They could have conversed on these issues directly. Later, Ganesha could have simply shared the essence of this conversation, on earth itself!

The all-knowing look from Ganesha indicated the plan- back to earth and face the devotees. Where else his, a constant sit-in companion, could he be?

Mooshik turns an analyst

Ganesha wanted to pacify Mooshik. “I know you are worthy of individual worship yet, not worshiped. You are always alongside me , as a symbolic representation and through you, the devotees identify themselves as subservient to me, as you, are.”

To further lighten his mood, Ganesha wanted to tease Mooshik and test him with some philosophical questions.  “What is enlightenment and who are the enlightened ones?”

Mooshik: Enlightenment is putting up with temporary inconveniences for the future good.

Ganesha: Then who are the enlightened ones?

Mooshik: The enlightened ones are those, who live literally in hell and still feel it as heavenly! But there are some exceptions too.”

Interest perking up Ganesha asked, “Care to elaborate these exceptions?”

Mooshik: “Those who think of others as enlightened and those who think of themselves as enlightened and then there are those who need others to speak of them as enlightened ones. But in all the case, wisdom, the taskmaster, waits to remind them that they all have to learn  a lesson.”

Ganesha: Oh, what lesson?

Mooshik: Those who think of others as enlightened ones will be taught, “your enlightened ones have a past and present and but no future.”

Those who think of themselves as enlightened ones will be told, “You have neither a  present nor  future.”

Those who need others to speak about them as enlightened ones will be told, “You have only the present as both you and your proposer will cease to exist in the future.”

Ganesha was shocked to the very core of his expansive belly, by this tail-twisting explanation.

 A few days later, Ganesha found Mooshik mumbling to himself, as if in a trance. Though it amounted to eavesdropping, his big ears swiftly oriented themselves to catch every word being uttered by Mooshik.

“No colour is pristine pure. Nature itself has to mix different colours in different proportions. Even the colours that nature takes to do this, are not pure themselves. Sharing one's experience is like dipping a brush used in one palette to take paint from another. This act contaminates, if the brush is not cleaned before use. Likewise, shared experience is detrimental, if not analysed properly before adopting it by another person. War of words is not about what it is but about what it could bring...”

Unaware of the eavesdropping, Mooshik murmured on – “From the day I became a favourite sit-in companion to Ganesha, I am silently suffering this ignominy. Not even a devotee stands in front of me, does a pooja and offers to break a coconut. This, even after being with Ganesha through droughts and floods, hurts and continues to dig a hole deeper and deeper, in my heart. Is Ganesha aware of this or simply sweeping it aside with his trunk.?”

In this agitated frame of mind, Mooshik decided to hang, the T V panel discussion and the verdict on the online darshan and pooja delivered by that dilapidated court, to dry from any high point and be done with it. From the roadside shelter - Ganesha did not insist on a star rated premises, Mooshik saw a tall cell tower beckoning him. And up he went with the panel discussion and the judicial verdict.

Ganesha silently watched all these things from the sidelines and allowed Mooshik to vent all his steam. Even if he took pains to explain, Mooshik would not understand why pooja is not performed for him.

While at the cell tower, a brilliant idea struck Mooshik. Back to his place, he started a mental game of categorising the footfalls of devotees visiting the shelter. Why footfalls and not the faces of devotees? From his height, he would permanently sprain his neck, if he had to look at each and every one of the visitors. Fearing a severe stiff neck, Mooshik decided to count only the footfalls of devotees. What he lacked in height he made up with his acute sensors (ears and eyes) for data collection. He was prepared to wrestle and struggle with the data, to evaluate and organise them for his intended purpose. Anyhow, did he not have the time to iterate and reiterate?

For telling a story, a storyboard is required. This in mind, he started to collect small panels and frames, to set them up to demonstrate his findings. As panels and frames themselves don't tell the story, he decided on different colours to do it for them. Orange and blue or red and green... a riot of colours barged into his brain. Crying for attention. Choosing the suitable colours posed very many difficulties and out of the blue, he remembered Ganesha’s oft repeated praise - “your ability to overcome hurdles is beyond compare”. Aided by this tonic and mentally thanking Ganesha, he immersed himself into the world of colours, to produce his own shades. 

Tired of watching the proceedings from his pedestal, Ganesha asked, “What are you doing with these colours and where from you got all these small panels?” 

Mooshik: “If I have to explain, you may have to turn around a bit.

Ganesha: “No, Mooshik, I did it once and had to make a U turn. Don't you remember?  It is your turn now.”

Mooshik: “O K. I will turn a bit and face you. But do not interrupt me till I finish the painting works.” 

Mooshik carefully chose a stock of ultra white and ultra black pigments. By judicial mixing of white and black pigments he obtained 10 shades of grey, the darkest one being a just pinch of black pigments away from becoming black. Looking at the varying shades of grey, black and dazzling white, he felt that the sweat and labour, he had invested was worth the trouble after all.  He did not forget to have an ample supply of brushes to avoid contaminating the pallet. Paints panels and brushes waited for him to tell his story. 

He then prepared three categories of tiles/panels - black, white and from all the shades of grey. To him, the preparation of these many grey tiles appeared to be overkill. Yet how could he be complacent and ignore the subtility these shades would bring to his theme.? 

Each frame was fashioned to receive two coloured panels, one in the left and another in the right slot.  A separator, placed in the middle, provided contrast between the two panels. 

After patiently waiting, with a quizzical smile playing on his face, Ganesha asked, “Now will you explain your story?” 

Mooshik: “With pleasure! It goes like this. 

The frame with White - White   painted panels denotes the clever devotees who do not want to be in your future debt. To maintain zero balance in their accounts, they transfer the good and bad fortunes to your account. 

This frame with White - Black painted panels points out to those smart devotees who credit good tidings to your account. and absorb the bad fortunes themselves. This is a hedge fund phenomenon, betting on your benevolent grace to be on call for encashment, in the future.  

This frame with Black -White painted panels is about those devotees who are prompt in crediting bad tidings to your account and saving the good fortunes in their accounts. This lot believes in drawing the best and leaving the rest to you. 

This frame is special with Black - Black painted panels. This type of devotees magnanimously takes both good and bad tidings into own account. By being modest, this cool type shifts the onus to do better in future, to your account. Now your dilemma will be to reward them or not?  

This frame starts a new classification. Grey -White painted panels stands for devotees who willingly share the good fortune with you and happily credit the bad times to your account. This is a persuasive kind. When I am sharing the good fortunes with you, why can't you manage the bad ones! 

This group of Grey – Grey painted panels is about those devotees who are happy to make you an equal partner, for now, by sharing good and bad. They might just be learning the art of deal making. 

This frame with Grey – Black painted panels indicates those, half-heartedly trying not to annoy you, who accept good things on shared basis and absorb bad tidings. These devotees are playing the face-saving game. If the gambit works, the scorecard would change suitably, at a later date to each 50:50 or ... 

This frame with Black painted - bare panel , reflects the type of devotees who are unwilling to go with equal share of good fortunes.  They absorb them, in total, as dues into their accounts. They don't bring the case of bad tidings to the negotiating table at all and divert the credit to your account. For this reason only, I  have left the right side slot of this frame empty” 

Shaken, Ganesha asked “What this last frame without coloured panels signifies? And what is this P-P is about! 

“This unique type of devotees is like cats sitting on the wall. After reviewing all the above approaches, they might leave it as it is or slot in any of the two-colour combination to operate a credit or debit account. P-P means payroll is yet to be prepared for both the parties.” 

“How dare they designate me, Lord Ganesha, as a party?” 

“My Lord, any transaction requires two persons, herein afterwards called the 'parties' or otherwise 'the contributor' and 'the receiver’. It is perfectly legal on earth.” 

Exasperated Ganesha asked, "How to crack these tough nuts?" 

Mooshik: “Make all this unique type of devotees into coconut merchants. If not their resolve, at least the coconuts they sell will get broken. I see no other possible way to crack these tough nuts.” 

“O K. How do you ensure that the panels are read as intended by you?” 

“Good question, my Lord. See that curved clip at the top of the frame. That clip should point away from you when you want to read the meaning of the frame.” 

Mooshik sighed in relief as he could complete his work. Ganesha fumed at himself for engaging with Mooshik ,only to get a dose of bitter truth about his devotees. 

Ganesh and Mooshik in a suo motu case:

Ganesha reminisced about his ghostlighting into a Televised panel discussion, to reach his reluctant devotees.  The show was a block buster but did not enthuse the targeted devotees. Unable to keep staring at the wall any longer, he had done an about turn to watch the flow of traffic on the road.  \

Prior to that show time, Mooshik had lit another fire, hinting about on-line darshans and pujas. Why not he fight and quench this fire to expose and end this sham of online darshans and poojas? If he could save these gullible devotees, some of them might even visit his temples to augment the dwindling footfalls, why not?”

He pressed Mooshik to find a way to deal with these online businesses. Mooshik asked, “Why me?” Ganesha replied “Because, you have the ability to squeeze through tiny cracks and hop over hurdles. Now, go and find that crack!”. Ganesha’s words sounded like a whiplash. Fearing damage to his eardrums, Mooshik hastened to surf the devloknet, to find that crack and ways to hop over hurdles that he may encounter.

With Ganesha breathing over his neck, Mooshik tried to concentrate on the information that was rolling across the monitor at breakneck speed.  He struck gold as the scrolling suddenly stopped and names of two earthlings, kept flashing. This reminded him of the road side signals he was forced to watch, when a frustrated Ganesha had turned his back on his devotees.

Ganesha understood that the names flashing on the screen are the suitable proxy candidates to bring wide publicity to his current thinking. He asked, “Mooshik, can you contact them?”. Mooshik replied, “It is not that easy, probably we may have to meet with them personally. Then you can plant the seeds of your idea and allow them to germinate it. Let us see if the plant would bear fruits.”  Not to brook any further delay, Ganesh declared, “Let us move”

“Mooshik, is this the place? Looks very deserted.”

“Yes. That old building is where our persons of interest come to, after work, now and then. In all probability that is where they are right now.”

“Mooshik, how did you collect this information!”

“It wasn’t easy, with your heavy breathing on my neck. Moreover, these two do not have any outside presence.

“How do you know that?”

“They have no digital footprints on any social media. In this respect a poor, homeless person leaves a lot more crumbs to follow. As you wanted, I found this crack and let us slip through it. Why they meet here often is a long story and obviously you don’t have time for it.”

Ganesha wanted to rush inside but Moshik stopped him and said, “First make me invisible, as pet animals may not be allowed inside.”

“What about me?” asked Ganesha.

“Turn yourself into a normal person, problem gets solved.”

Inside the premises, Ganesha saw only two persons drinking something and talking to each other. One of them drank, from a strange looking plate. Mooshik identified, that person holding a saucer, as the judge. Ganesha nudged Mooshik and murmured, “Why did you not tell me beforehand that he is the judge?”

Mooshik murmured back, “Then you would not have had this surprise. The other person is a lawyer and they work together.”

“Then who is that disinterested looking, third person standing over there?"

 “Oh, he is the proprietor but hates the judge. That is another story, for which you have no time now.”

Cursing himself, Ganesha sat in one of the many vacant chairs, and drew the attention of the owner. For once, sporting a welcoming smile, the owner enquired, “What will you have?” Mooshik had not briefed him on what to do in such a situation. Ganesha replied, “Whatever those men are drinking.”  He nudged Mooshik in anger and hissed, “These two people look like unemployed persons and how dare you suggested them to execute my plan?”

Mooshik having had enough of nudges (the last one really hurt) and hissing calmly answered, “Talk to them and then you will appreciate my selection.”

With the drink on hand, Ganesha started to talk to himself, a little louder, so that the two gentlemen would hear it. The judge instantly became interested in the monologue coming from the only other person who was clumsily trying to pour some of the liquid into the saucer. Catching the drift of the subject matter, the judge signalled to his friend cum counsellor to pay attention to the off-line talk about on-line darshans.

Venturing forward, the judge spoke. “Excuse me sir, will you introduce yourself and elaborate on what is bothering you? By the way I am a judge in the nearby court and my friend here is a learned counsel.”

“My name is Gajakarn and I am upset with this on-line business of devotion.”

“Your name sounds a little odd, I mean, to my ears. I may have a solution for your problem.”

Ganesha could not believe his ears that this jobless looking judge, may have a readymade solution!

Without giving anyone a chance, the judge said, “Sir your oral mention is now a suo motu case and my learned friend here will be one of the counsels to argue it. Would you like to be a witness?”

This lightning speed decision of the judge, shocked Gajakarn, Mooshik and the counsellor.  Recovering quickly, the counsellor gently reminded the judge that complainants, witnesses or spectators are never allowed by him in his court.

“This being an interesting case, as an extraordinary exception I invite Mr. Gajakarn to attend the proceedings. Counsellor, as my nephew lacks  practice, he will stand in as the second counsel. NO. This is not nepotism but I am trying to strengthen our legal system.”

Not hearing anything about publicity, Gajakarn enquired, “Will the proceedings be televised? The judge negatived it and said, “Instead, I will give you a digital file. The T V channels will happily play the clip, after breaking news or if nothing is breaking at that time, they will call this as a breaking news, every hour on the hour. O K?”

Gajakarn wanted to let loose a derisive snort but reined in the impulse as it would give away his identity and bid good bye to his disguise. Sensing danger, Mooshik managed to convince Gajakarn, to accept the judge’s offer.

Next day, at the stroke of 8 AM, the honourable judge swept into the court, giving flight clearance to a layer of dust particles, and with a hint of swagger ascended to the bench. Counsellor-2 stood fidgeting, not knowing what to do - twiddle his thumbs or twirl his hair. Gajakarn sat in one of the many empty seats, sweet talking to the invisible Mooshik. The counsellors briefly glanced at Gajakarn wondering, why had he already started to talking to himself, once again!  

The judge banged his gavel and spoke, “First of all, the housekeeping issues. We are on record. This is a suo motu case based on an oral mention. The two pro bono counsellors are present to argue the case. As a special gesture, the entire proceedings will be videographed. The lone spectator is reminded of three things. One he will remain silent during the arguments and if he has any point, it should be whispered to one of the counsellors and not to the court. Two, the court will make available the entire recording including the pronounced observations/judgement. Three, the spectator is free to use the video in any manner fit for the purpose for which Mr. Gajakarn had made the oral mention.” 

Counsellor-1 had never heard such a longwinded speech on housekeeping matters. The judge had just created a record of sort, unintentionally. Counsellor-2 had half a mind to choose another profession rather than trying to understand, what the learned judge, who is also his uncle, had just said. Now, he understood why relatives avoided the judge in family gatherings. Unmindful of all this, the judge glanced at the clock and announced a brief recess. 

Reconvening, the judge ordered the matter of on-line darshans be taken up first. He permitted one of the counsels to argue the matter. Looking at Gajakarn, he warned “During the arguments, you will remain calm or otherwise be ready to face the contempt of this court.” Mooshik got a painful pinch as a token of Gajkaran’s anger. 

Counsellor1: May it please the court, I strongly object to this practice.

Judge: On what grounds?

Counsello1: Darshan as a ritual has elaborate rules about where, when, how and by whom…

Counsellor2: (interrupting) Uncle, may I approach the bench? 

Judge: (Becoming annoyed) stared at his nephew and shouted, “Counsellor you are almost on the line for a contempt of court ruling. The only relationship here is between the law and the matter being argued. No need to approach the bench, stay and say what you wished to state.” 

Counsellor2: The “where, when and how were applicable at those times, when idols of deities remained only in temples. Nowadays, replicas of those deities could be seen in many houses. Moreover, framed images of deities are adoring the walls and hang as calendars.” 

Counsellor1: Judge, in all these cases, there exists a personal connection between deities and devotees. The attention and concentration, while standing in front of these substitutes at home, is almost …. 

Judge: Then why are you objecting to online darshans? 

Counsellor2: (interrupting) Judge, probably my friend does not have a T V at home! 

Judge tried to hide his smile. Gajakarn wondered what was funny in this. Counseelor1 got busy planning an oral ambush on Counsellor2, at the appropriate time. 

Counsellor1: During on-line darshan, the on screen faces of deities have to compete with smartphones held on hands or a sports channel playing in the background, to get an occasional glimpse from the devotee. The deities have to move over and give screen time to the pundits gathered in the sanctum sanctorum. The mind-to-deity interaction turns out to be an extrusion of images through the T V screen. This is online darshan. Probably, the other counsel likes to watch only extruded faces! 

The judge liked this jibe at his nephew, Gajakarn vainly tried to suppress his giggles which rocked Mooshik like tremors. To end the drama, judge addressed the counsellors, “If there are no more arguments, move on to the next matter – online pooja” 

Counsellor2: In the sanctum sanctorum, only the priest performs the pooja. I hope my friend agrees with me that this practice is rooted in tradition. In today’s fast-paced world, let us be happy that elaborate poojas are still being performed, at home by trained priests, though as an exclusive event. The poojas at Temples are for the benefit of  larger public.

Counsellor1: Judge, the learned counsel is like a person expecting to receive a letter which is neither written nor posted.

Judge: Meaning?

Counsellor1: At temples and at homes the priest performs and, standing in queue or sitting on the floor, the devotees participate. Here is the direct connection. In the case of online pooja, the priest performs and the devotees are  kilometers away, attentive or inattentive. Connection is through a network provider.

Counsellor2: Still there is a connection, my lord.

Counsellor1: Judge, have you ever heard of fruits of pooja or darshan being wire-transferred? What happens when the network goes down? Maybe, my learned counsellor, who expects to receive an un-written and un-posted letter, knows!  I rest my arguments for on-line darshan and on-line poojas. They are not like money that can be wire-transferred to the devotees.

All of a sudden, the judge dashed out like a bullet train and vanished into his chamber. The counsellors, Gajakarn and Mooshik were taken aback by this sudden departure. A few moments later, the judge, huffing and puffing, returned to the bench. With a sheepish grin announced, “I had to quell a sudden internal rebellion.” 

The counsellors understood the code and closed their mouths to prevent giggling. Gajakarn and Mooshik had no clue about what has happened. A confused Mooshik blurred out, “What happened judge?”  

Embarrassed, the judge banged the gavel and threatened the invisible Mooshik with a jail time for contempt of court. The counsellors intervened and the judge suddenly remembering about some personal works announced, “Judgement at 8 A. M tomorrow. Court is adjourned.” 

“Tradition is a time-tested procedure. Comfort and wire-transfer violate tradition. With so many named deities around, all with similar powers, is it not better to visit any deity and perform any pooja, like any time anywhere A T M?  Is there a better comfort than this?

This court is either accused of judicial activism or blamed for being a lame-duck institution. To tread lightly on the sensitivities of the referred matter, it is the considered opinion of this court, that tradition anywhere any time basis is better than comfort and wire-transfer transactions.”

Banging the gavel, the judge announced, “Adjourned.”

Gajakarn expected an earthshattering judgement. Visibly disappointed with this tepid-water legalese, Gajakarn instructed Mooshik, “Send a copy of this judgement to all the deities, with this warning. If anyone of the trio - judge and counsellors, approach for a favour, request them to deal with the trio, using the same confusing legalese the judge had used in his so-called judgement.  Don’t forget to attach photos of the trio, for positive identification.”