The Reader-Author 238

 

A chance meeting of two friends! Coming face to face unexpectedly, after many years, both blink; rake their memory tracks for a name. Finally, one of them blurts out the other’s name with a tentative drawl “are you not...?” Slow to catch the offered memory string, the other responds, and “oh...Yes. How you been”? Recollection crowding their minds and the need for a lengthy exchange of personal details pushes them in to a cafe’ for a hot cup of beverage.

Since their personal information is privy, let me leave them alone for a while. But this does not prevent me from imagining the predictable lines their conversation will take, because I am acquainted with one of them in a curious sort of way. You will know why? Not now, but somewhere down the line in this narrative!

During an invited visit, the friend could not take his eyes off from the shelf where books, separated in to two parts were on display. Serious doubts rose in his mind but hesitated to seek an explanation from the host.  Confused, he stared to think which one of them needed to consult a therapist!

The host decided to clear his friend’s unasked doubts and remove the confusion.  “Probably, you remember that I used to read at least a book or two in a week. That habit has not yet changed. It was difficult to feed my reading mill, in spite of getting these books from old book vendors or at reduction sales. I can sense your unspoken question – why should you continue to do so? Fair enough, but otherwise the effect would have been disastrous –literally. I would have gone out of my mind”.

Displaying curiosity and concern, the friend asked, “I see the books separated in to two parts. What forced you to do so? I hope not because your mind was slipping out of gears”!

“You are right about the force but wrong about the gears. I was getting frustrated, and the blame goes to the binder’s devil that sowed the seeds in the first place. Of course, my insatiable hunger to read played a secondary role, forcing me on a buying spree in stock clearance sales.

Let me explain. I came up with this term “binder’s devil” after a curious incident. I bought a trilogy in a buy 1 - take 3 - offer.  The eye-catching title “The Arctic thaws and simmers” by a bestselling author, based on an explosive geo-political backdrop, perked up my interest. With high hopes, I eagerly started to read the book, as soon as out of the shop. Little did I realise that disappointments and despair awaited just a volume away.

Fascinated with the narrative, I took up the second volume, running to 550+ pages, and landed in some sort of trouble, not with the direction the story was heading but with the sections of the book that have been uprooted and placed in different locations, as if to test the patience and skills of the reader to navigate. This totally spoiled my reading pleasure and with much consternation managed to finish. At the end, I felt like a hunter patiently stalking, not for a prey but the dislocated sections of the book.

My travails did not the end in the second volume.  After recovering from this shock, I started the final volume, running to 450+ pages, and this experience turned out to be a true nightmare. In this volume, pages were all at sea like castaways, hopelessly arranging themselves finding refuge wherever they could, as if possessed by their own free will.

This chaos not only spoiled the narrative but also doused my enthusiasm for the subject matter. Then and there I decided to name this mishap a “binder’s devil”.

The friend understood the frustration but had a question - “What this had to do with your act of rewriting of the second half of the books”?

The host replied, “Before answering that question, let me tell you one important thing I learnt from this experience. Be careful about the buy-one-get-one or buy-one-get three offers. They hide two factors: 1) Poor demand or the book remaining at the bottom of the bestseller list or 2) Bad reviews or complaints from readers or goof up realised by publishers themselves. What other simple solution exists to recover part of the expenditure other than offering buy- one-get free schemes? After this harrowing experience, mostly due to the active binder’s devil in the second half of many of the volumes, I decided to creatively rewrite only that part to my liking”. 

Accepting host’s explanation, the friend asked, “Why did you leave the first half intact?  The reader - author replied, “At least, I need the initial plot to move the narrative in the second half, but rest assured, my next attempt will be in that direction too”. Then the host handed over two original novels, along with his own version of the second part and requested him to read the original as well as the rewritten version for comparison and comments.

Few days later....

Having read the original and doctored version of the second half of the story, the friend came back, with a beaming smile and admiration. Before even getting settled, he poured out words praising the remastering skills the reader-author had come up with, to present the original novel, in a new light. He shared his thrilling experience in reading that legal-thriller and asked “Why did you select this run-of-the-mill legal thriller for your surgical attempt, even though you had no trouble from binder’s trouble? 

The reader-author replied, “Rewriting the second half of this book happened all of a sudden. But this legal thriller, which I expected to be like a Perry Mason novel to read, lacked the usual fire works in the court. Though the title “Innocent be hanged” was intriguing, halfway through the novel the plot gets mired in an investigative-legal quagmire, turning out an   anaemic and damp squib narrative. The novelist had argued the issues concerning legalities and lack of sufficient grounds in a lackadaisical manner to barely manage an acquittal”.

The friend persisted and asked, “Why alter only the second part and not the entire novel? Reader-author’s reply took the air out of the question’s sail. “Why innocence has to be proved by the accused incurring cost, social standing and future, in a trial?  For their part, the law enforcement officers get away without even a slap on the wrists for unfair accusation and foisting of an unnecessary trial. The exoneration does not help to wash away the stigma and rebuild whatever the defendant lost.

Could I have done it without legal education and then how did I manage it? By heavily leaning on Perry Mason type arguments and safely refraining from quoting relevant codes and subsections, including my own arguments for finding sufficient grounds to compensate the victim.  I finished the second half to my satisfaction.  I even managed to impute the actions of Judge, lawyers and prosecuting agencies without fear of standing in contempt of court!”

Dear reader, if you have not guessed the identity of “me” mentioned in the beginning, let me make it easier. It is me - my alter ego Mr. Imaginch! One of the two friends happens to be the one who kindly consented to read my doctored versions.

Yam survives, yet again! 237

Brahma endured the splitting headache, in all four of his heads. For a moment, in the haze of throbbing pain, wondered why he had been bestowed with four heads and wanted to confront that ‘power’ to demand the reason. Keeping his heads clear and maintaining four pairs of eyes and ears in good health was not an easy task. His doubt was whether his creation was an experiment that had gone terribly wrong and how could the ‘power’ overlook that aspect while experimenting? These burning questions further fueled the headache threatening to multiple explosions in his heads.

Unfortunately, at this very pain-filled moment, Yamadharmaj made his unannounced appearance. A withering laser-powered look from Brahma shook the very core of Yamadharmaraj’s soul and he scurried out like a frightened rat. 

As he exited, he saw his bet noir Chitragupta waiting for his turn, with a smile on his face and mischievous twinkle in his eyes. In no mood to interact, Chitragupta kept wondering about what would have transpired to make Yamadharmaj to bolt out like an uncorked storm.

Having brought the throbbing headaches under control, Brahma sensed the presence of Chitragupta waiting for an audience. He mused and heartily chuckled, "If Chitragupta is a pain balm, Yama is definitely the pain". 

Though Brahma already knew what the matter would be, he was eager to hear about it in Chitragupta’s words. He wanted to capture the underlying nuance from the style and inflections during the verbal delivery. Well aware of his master's desire, Chitragupta too played his part willingly, though he knew well that Brahma was not a fan of his timbrous voice.

As soon as Chitragupta entered, Brahman signalled him to switch over to telepathy. He felt it prudent to have a safety device in place, to ensure the spoken words remained secret and his ears stayed out of harms ways! He had not forgotten his doubt filled moments, during the “Portal of Boons" crisis briefing. That time he had harboured serious doubts whether Chitragupta was trying to whisper a secret message or to bite off his ears one by one! He knew, unlike Yamadharmaraj, Chitragupta was canny. Wisely he kept a remote control on hand to block out his own privy thoughts, from Chitragupta!

Chitragupta presented his compiled information on current issues that had the potential to rock Brahma’s throne.  Keenly paying attention to the inflections between words, and cadence in Chitragupta’s voice, Brahma had no doubt about the gravity of the situation, lurking beyond the spoken words.

Brahma: What brought Yama barging in, unannounced?

Chitragupta: He has two burning issues, but may I add that both are his own making.

Brahma: Elaborate but don’t start a new blame game.

Chitragupta: Not at all my intention. But the fact is the common thread connecting them is the nerds for whom he had granted a very long life.

Brahma: How it is relevant to his current problems? (Chitragupta, you certainly know how to swim without getting wet - Brahma chuckled to himself).

Chitragupta: Very relevant. if you would kindly recall the action plan you enforced and the software upgrades made to the “Portal of Boons” for routing the earthlings’ appeals to a merry-go-around cycle!

Brahma: Yes. The workload of gods and demigods has plummeted like a waterfall. Is it not good? 

Chitragupta: No. It has become the first issue confronting Yama now.

Brahma: Why so? Care to explain?

Chitragupta: If you so desire... The software upgrades had an add-on feature sneaked in by his nerdy friends. The nerds feeling neglected, added a drop box to the Portal, addressed to Yama. It is not a “secret of Brahma” to know that it gets filled only with hate mails. The catch is, as fast as Yama recycle- bins them, many more mails flood the drop box! This is the second problem.

Brahma: (acting angry) Why should you drag my name in Yama's mess?

Chitragupta: Bear with me; I only quoted what the earthlings often say when they do not comprehend life's travails. They blame everything on "Brahma has written it so" or “who knows what Brahma wrote into my head”.

Brahma: Ok, ok . Don’t dwell too much on those sayings. Have you worked out ideas to solve Yama’s problems?

Chitragupta: If you guide me, I may prepare a document and submit it the soonest.

Brahma: Do. (switching the remote to jamming mode, scratches his heads, feels his headaches raising and mumbles – Chitragupta, you are acting more like a section head reporting to a boss).

Chitragupta not in the habit of letting go of an opportunity, started the work on a plan, as soon as he exited Brahma's abode. Under pressure or in deep thoughts, he liked to watch his toes while walking, a subconscious act over which he had lost control. Today his homeward journey was no exception. Well aware of this peculiarity, the inhabitants of Brahma Lok stood aside to give him a collision free passage. 

At home, he mentally reviewed the antecedents of all the cyber nerds. Patiently, layer by layer, he peeled back their life history to spot any tiny flaw which he could exploit to gain a bargaining chip. Now and then, he felt the presence of an unknown entity watching over his shoulder. He could not guess that Brahma, who after jamming Chitragupta's other sensory channels, was micromanaging watching the work in progress. 

Chitragupta finally located two possible candidates for further work. One nerd has hopes to fulfill a dying wish - to appear and clarify his doubt, in person, with Brahma. The other nerd, feeling neglected both by Yama and other nerds in the scheme of things had turned a dissident and wanted retribution. Chitragupta was caught in two minds - to rush with the findings of a breach now or to inform Brahma after finalising a complete action plan. He decided on the later course as Brahma disliked neither loose ends  nor or loose cannons.

At the first available opportunity, Chitragupta met and explained his plan and said without forgetting, “if acceptable to Brahma " at the end. Brahma wistfully smiled at him, though he wanted to tweak to Chitragupta’s ears with force, as a warning to curb his naughtiness.

Taking the smile as a green signal, Chitragupta called the selected nerds and started preparing their minds for the tasks he was to assign them. The nerd, who wished to seek clarification from Brahma, was tasked to create a backdoor entry to Yama's drop box. Chitragupta planned to let loose a homegrown worm to automatically erase the hate mails as soon as they were being created at the sender's system. The nerd, glad to be granted a meeting with Brahma, promised to go one step further – to infest the connected networks, disabling them for an unspecified time or crash them altogether. As an added bonus, the nerd was gladly willing to introduce a “timer” to delay restarting attempts. In his mind's eyes, Chitragupta could visualise the withering and dying of Yama's drop box threat.

Coaxing the second nerd to turn ‘agent provocateur’ took some skillful neuron manoeuvres, coupled with glib talk. At the end, like gusting wind blowing away sand particles, Chitragupta managed to clear away self-doubts and feelings of allegiance from this nerd’s mind. Given the time, the nerd promised to convince others to accept whatever plan Chitragupta came up with. This spirited nerd, in a rush to seize the golden opportunity, failed to grasp the hidden agenda in Chitragupta’s articulated “flowing and flying” gestures and sweet talk.

The nerd with a death wish broke all network speeds to fashion a backdoor entry to let in a cross-network slider worm. Immensely pleased with the demo, and ordering a hold, Chitragupta rushed to inform Brahma. Perplexed, Brahma asked Chitragupta, "What is so special about this worm? He didn't expect the answer he got. Chitragupta like a salesman explained: It is truly a ghostly worm scripted by a spirited nerd. No firewall protection known to earthlings will stop it, because it just seeps through without attempting to breach. 

After briefing the readiness status, he requested a formal approval. The taciturn Brahma easily spotted the "blame game" ball Chitragupta was trying to pass on to him. After sliding the remote to jamming mode, he chuckled to himself thinking, yes alacrity does have a downside too!

The nerd who wanted to ask about Brahma's secret finally had the chance but before the question could be posed, Brahma looked at the nerd and said, “If every living being gets to know the second -by- second forecast, will there be fun and thrill? Will there be variety? Will that life be full or interesting? The list goes on and on and ends as Brahma’s secret. Actually, it is not a secret but kept as secret to make it sound like a secret”. Chitragupta raced to the edges of his sanity after hearing Brahma’s thought twisters, worrying whether Brahma had suffered a form of stroke.

Brahma:(addressing the two nerds) In my creation, even though it is microscopically tiny and appears insignificant, an electron plays a very important function - helps to transfer energy for various life- functions. It is a super surgeon capable of repairing damaged DNA. It has successfully held back photons from lighting up the Universe for a considerable time. The time scale is beyond your reckoning or comprehension. Likewise, your tiny soul, after departure from your body has other purposes in my cycle of creation. Your hoodwinking of Yama and his negligent act of granting extension to your life tenure are acts that violate and disrupt the natural order of this cycle. Realise and voluntarily relinquish. By this act, you would clear the path for the other pre-ordained and already waiting life forms to emerge and complete their life cycles. Who knows, you might have a better purpose waiting there!

Being enervated by these wise words, the nerds vowed to convince the other nerds on the importance of the life cycle. This repeated audio play-back of Brahma’s wisdom acted like flowing water and swirling wind eroding rocks on the mountains, whittled down the desire of the nerds and one they by one decided to relinquish their extended existence and leave for the promised good. A beaming Brahma bade them farewell, heaving a huge sigh of relief! 

Chitragupta did not fail to notice the guarded words Brahma had just used without actually assuring anything! A train of thoughts chugged through his mind. The promises made to the departing nerds are they really promises or words that appear like promises?  When Yama would be called and what Brahma would say to him?  

He thought if I have to say it like Brahma will it be like this: “Actually …..” but before he could form the phrases, Brahma looked at Chitragupta and said, " I know you are also eager to know what is the secret that you referred to in the beginning. It is nothing but warning signs posted, in the path of life, to mend ways. The journey's end will be same, though it will pass easier or harder as the case may be. Of course, the signs are kept invisible to keep the living beings on a tight leash..

Chitragupta, “I can access your inner thinking at will. None of your snide/sarcastic comments, ever, pass by me. Sometimes I too enjoy them. I will tell you this secret – you don’t know what is written in to your head, so be careful and don't cross the limit”.

The admonishing voice faded and when Chitragupta came out of his reveries, Brahma had already left the place.

A Child's angst. 236

Bystander decided to revisit his old haunt and took a seat on a vacant bench in the park.  Searching around for a familiar face or two, he spotted the child, with a far-off look and a bulging school bag keeping company, in solitude. He was unable to place the child in the twilight zone of 'tweens or a teenager. Conflicting thoughts out of curiosity and concern taking a whirlwind tour in the mind, for the child disturbed him. At this point he could not decide whether to approach the child and talk it out or allow the child’s own thinking to run its course.

He managed to get a glimpse of the face and it was devoid of any telltale sign revealing the child’s inner turmoil. A little later the child left the park, leaving Bystander thinking, “Here goes out my anticipated serenity”. With a sigh, Bystander got up and left thinking about the face that would keep haunting him till the issue and a solution get worked out. No doubt, this could take many attempts to bring the child on to a friendship platform.

Not to spare any effort, he visited the park, Monday to Friday, to watch and be seen by the child. He reflected on many scenarios to decide on the best approach with the child and reason out without raising any alarm. Slowly a plan gelled in his mind. Unwilling to prolong the impasse, much longer, he decided to get into action. During the next visit, he moved over and sat on the vacant seat, beside the child. Taken aback by this sudden intrusion, confusion and consternation took the center stage on the child’s face. 

Bystander sat quietly, sporting an endearing smile, admiring the facial expressions on display. He thought, if empathy cannot break the ice, what else could do it? Unable to hold it any longer, the bottled-up emotions of the child gushed out in a torrent of anguish, breaching the mental barriers. “The alarm never fails to do its thankless job of announcing yet another morning, opening a flood gate of parental instructions. From 'get up to hurry up or you will be late', they spew instructions and reminders like a machine gun. Don't they ever get tired of repeating the same things every day? Instead, why not tack few stick-it-up notes on the fridge door, to save vocal energy? Whom shall I blame, obviously not the alarm?

A different set of instructions and reminders are delivered in the classrooms - read chapter 3 and do the sums under 3.2.1; draw parts of a flower and label them; complete the project work on ‘The flower and honeybee ’prepare a chart on ‘Agents of environmental pollution’; note down homeworks for the week.... The saving grace is PT periods, provided the coach is not on leave or does not loan it to another teacher for completing pending lessons. Is there fun in my academic life?

Back at home, the grandparents take over, for change with conciliatory tones- change your dress; finish your snacks and homework; keep school bag ready for tomorrow; keep your I D handy and shine your shoes, etc. - the morning ritual gets repeated in another chaotic order. When both the grandparents are present one plays cool and the other blows hot. Somehow, they alternate their roles and leave me guessing which one would support me on that particular day. Both have been schooled by their parents and have schooled their children. Why can’t they give the grandchildren some space? 

A little T V play, and time eases the stressed-out mind into relative calmness. But like a good run coming to an end, parents come home with their pending works and unspent irritations from workspaces. They take turns to bombard me with questions and happenings. Can they not wait till the end of programme.? They don’t tolerate interruptions, yet they do not mind doing it, why? When heated exchanges start, the grandparents perform a vanishing act, choosing to go for a walk in the park! I can also ‘chat back’ and if this happens will it be pleasant to hear? 

A moment of introspection will show them the mirror – the parents of my grandparents would not have goaded them like this; the parents of my parents would not have driven them on in this scale. And why now they all gang up and pressurise me? If any of them are really concerned about my mental health, they should go easy and allow me to have a good night’s rest everyday” 

At last, the monologue came to an end. Bystander understood the peer pressure and regimental approach as the root cause for the child’s anguish and agitation. The moving narrative made him feel like a witness watching an extra-long goods train hurtling through a sleepy town. He could well imagine this child being the guard on the train, unable to do anything but to wait for the arrival at a marshalling yard.

A child’s mind can take only so much and no more of the same, day in and day out. And has its consequence - like the paper, on which a word is repeatedly underlined, finally ends up torn. The constant reminders and exhortations from parents, teachers, and grandparents left his mind wondering, "Is childhood so painful; a student’s life devoid of fun and individuality?” The scales the parents, teachers, and grandparents use to compare are outdated and nonstandard.  Why do they not want to recalibrate them? Is it fair the grownups conveniently ignore the mismatch, in the guise of experience? Delicate matters like this should it not be handled like a bomb squad trying to deactivate an explosive device? 

Bystander’s felt helpless. He was stunned by the way the child expressed anguish and frustration, the manner and language belying age. The child appeared intelligent and full of vitality and this disillusionment troubled him deeply. Careful thinking gave him an idea. Selecting an approach that would easily appeal to the child, he decided to address all the points, instead of rushing with advice or pep talk. "Elder's advice /reminders are like good things that come attached with some strings. The strings are not to tie you in knots but to guide. The teachers have no other mission other than to impart education with the sole aim is to prepare you to step into the world and manage on your own! They are only discharging that duty, though you might feel otherwise. 

Ask yourself this question, "What are they gaining in this process"? Parents exert themselves to feed, clothe and shelter everyone in the house. It is their anxiety and missed opportunities that make them repeat the list of do’s and don'ts and nothing else. Like you, they too must want a good night's sleep. 

Think about It! Grandparents are doing the same, by volunteering to take over monitoring duties and make you to feel at home after school hours. Is it not helping you and your parents? Is it right to say that they go away from the scene as you mentioned earlier. In reality, are they not trying to help your parents to have alone time with you? Just think like this. You are determined and have the will to do everything they keep on reminding you with. 

A little bit of understanding from you will be the key. You will be surprised and will find it so easy to make everyone pleased. In the end all of you will benefit from a good night's sleep!”

At the end Bystander asked, “Think about this. Would a novelist abandon a principal character midway through the narrative?”

Brahma stunned 235

Whenever Chitragupta appeared in person, alarm bells definitely started to ring with bad vibes. And as the Creator, he is the de facto receiver of bad tidings. 

Brahma could not believe any of his eight ears. All were hearing the same unbelievable news just delivered by Chitragupta. The cryptic message was about servers in Dev Lok crashing frequently. Chitragupta hinted that the source of the trouble lay centered in the " Portal of Boons" a highly recommended and vigorously popularized gateway to send appeals seeking clemency, boons or a little luck.

He mentally commended Chitragupta for understanding the import of the message and choosing to directly whisper it into his ears. Brahma hoped and believed that Chitragupta did not harbour any evil design to bite off his earlobes and sat still till transmission was completed. He pitied Chitragupta. The poor fellow had to do it eight times to ensure total secrecy. When Chitragupta withdrew to a safe distance, he heaved a sigh of relief, after ascertaining the health of his earlobes.  

One’s misery is another’s opportunity. The Earthlings, never to miss out on a chance to bring home a cash cow, took to this heavenly gateway like fish to water. The enterprising ones started dedicated e-way cafes to exploit the boom. The fickle and feeble minded public willingly became fodder for the cash cows. As a result, the terabytes traffic jumped all the way to yottabytes, heavily overloading the system. The Dev Lok servers simply quit and went kaput. After deciphering Chitragupta’s cryptic message, Brahma could only agree with this assessment.

At this point a messenger from the Grand Council rushed in to inform Brahma about the volcanic eruption currently spewing out in the meeting hall, requiring urgent presence. Now with the ticking bomb shoved into his ears and the messenger's battleground update, he let his mind race to work out the best way to deal with the message of the 'far reached' consequence. 

He wanted to hit the roof in anger but the gentle smile on the face of Chitragupta brought home the truth that he will be endangering not one but four of his own heads in one go. Who else but the devoted Chitragupta would be suitable to get to the root of the problem? As if reading his thoughts Chitragupta silently handed over a bunch of documents into his hands. 

Then he started to worry about ways to convince the Grand Council of gods? Again, Chitragupta pulled out another dossier with hints for managing the current crisis and quietly withdrew from the scene. Brahma hurried down the corridors, all the while churning out and rejecting the opening remarks that will sit well with the Grand Council.

He recollected, with misgivings, a past incidence when the Council Members became so agitated and vented their frustrations on decorative artifacts. He mused, when humans could have godly nature why not the gods show some of human nature? He only hoped that a better decorum would prevail when confronted with this current crisis.

He never had to fight for a seat; it was kept reserved for him. Other Council Members envied it as a perk, but Brahma knew it as a peril. His quick glance revealed long faces of seated Council Members staring at him, presenting a ghostly sight. 

Brahma had already decided to go on offensive and blame the Council Members, one by one, for inviting the elephants and camels into the room. His question, hit all of them where he intended it to? He followed it up with a sharp comment - for what else but to project your individual image as clear-all, close-all and be-all beings to double the pain of hurt.

Then he proceeded to distribute a compilation of cause and effect specific to each Council Member. Those who have been used only for exposure to limelight, suddenly found themselves under intense scrutiny of searchlight. He watched their already ghostly faces turning more ghostlier with understanding.  In the meanwhile, he glanced through the second dossier noting the bullet points:

1 Embed circuitous routes to access and log in the appeal.

2.At the end before activating SEND button, make the applicant to fill the displayed format a number of times (applicant or the cafe' operator will lose patience and quit).

3.Infest with a bug that routinely reverts the appeal, a few times, back to the originating system itself.

4.Install a wicket gate, as another bug, for the portal to filter out repeated appeals from the same person or cafe' as rejects.

5. Shut down the Portal on New Moon, Full Moon, Solar and Lunar eclipse.

6.If all else fails, announce a moratorium and prescribe that boons should be granted by gods only after rigorous due diligence.

At the end of reading, he had nothing but admiration for Chitragupta’s grasp and clarity. Second time within a short interval, he mentally thanked Chitragupta, for this explosive idea, outlined in the dossier. But a feeling of unease crept in as he perused the dossier, whether Chitragupta would outsmart him one day. 

Nothing of that sort of thinking lingering in his mind, Chitragupta fervently hoped that his Boss would hammer home these action points. He did not pause to think whether these suggestions will be considered and any of them will be accepted and hoped that these action points, if taken together, would lead to a permanent solution. Piloting these action points, from now on, will be Brahma’s headache.

For once, Brahma had the Council Members squirming in their seats. Moments coalesced and grew and kept on growing. The Council Members, struggling to bury their egos and hatchets, silently exchanged glances gathering support for whatever solution Brahma proposed. Sensing imminent unanimity, Brahma seized the opportunity and navigated them through these action points. He was not surprised when he heard a chorus of affirmative shouts. 

If Chitragupta brought forward a problem, he had solutions to deal with it unlike Yamadharmaraj who was synonymous with only problems. He had no qualms in giving Chitragupta a little leeway as long as it did not embolden him to become loose cannon.  Though it would be a third mental thanks, in a short time, he felt Chitragupta's acumen and foresight deserved it. 

Complex in the Q 234

 Human nature is a fascinating subject, and the behaviour depends on the condition whether the individual is alone or part of a crowd. Bystander did not understand the science and the scientists behind this phenomenon. This did not deter him from trying to do his bit of study, notwithstanding his doubts whether he could be a judge of such predispositions. Not the one to stand aside, he decided to undertake a fieldtrip to glean some perspective, even if it turned out to be lopsided or biased.

He readied a list of possible locations to observe the behaviour of an individual in a crowded environment. Making the list was easy but choosing from among them proved daunting but decided on two, as most promising, locations for his maiden sample survey. As luck would have it, these locations had seamless connection between train ticket booking counter and a temple city. He was sure that in both the locations, people would be standing in queues and presenting ample opportunities to observe the behaviour of an individual in such an environment.

Got the ticket or not?

The Railway ticket booking counter never fails to present an opportunity to observe the behavior of an individual in a trying situation. Like an ornithologist patiently waiting to spot a rare species of bird, Bystander took position, leaning on to a support column at the entrance, with a clear view of queues and booking counters. Within minutes, his eyes started recording the frantic movements of a gentleman.

After entering the ticketing area, this gentleman stopped in his tracks as he found a long serpentine queue, in front of every counter. He spent a few seconds, in each line to find out the Q which moved faster than others. A peek at the counter dismayed him no less. Some of the passengers thought that the counter operated on single window mode, as like in banks, started seeking details about train timings, fares or similar such information. Some others tendered higher denomination currencies for the negligible fare amount or tried to search in various pockets to come up with assorted coins to top up the exact fare.

To his bad luck, whichever counter he selected to join, he remained at the end of the Q. The combined effect on the Q affected its forward movement like that of a goods train sidelined for a superfast express to pass. Frustration slowly building up, this gentleman started to move slowly ahead in the line, towards the counter. This journey did not last long as murmurs and protests made him to backtrack.  He started the search for a kindhearted person to help him out to get a ticket. He even offered the exact fare for the ticket, to bring around that person assuring a hassle-free transaction.

Irritated standees, in the Q, started to shout and threatened a fracas. This only aided to redouble his efforts to quickly conclude the deal. As there are con artists, there are suckers too. Falling prey, a person standing second near the counter obliged. This gentleman, ticket in hand then turned around and surveyed the long Q with a “You all saw how I managed it” look!

Bystander watched this with disdain and decided to end the episode with the following multiple-choice endings, for the reader to choose from-

(1) When the helping hand approached the counter, the ticketing clerk unceremoniously downed the shutter and declared a break. (2) The commotion in the Q, brought security personnel to the spot and pushed the helping hand and the gentleman back into the Q. (3) The helping hand by mistake interchanged the ticket and boarded his train with a ticket for a wrong destination, leaving this Q avoider to curse himself.

Faith and fruitless:

Bystander’s second choice was a busy tourist cum pilgrimage destination. He was eager to observe how disciplined the visitors would be inside the temples. The tourists cum devotees had different perspective and, in a hurry, to take it in an orderly fashion. Either because of deep faith or due its location in a popular tourist spot, this temple had become famous. Probably this led the tourists to visit temples as pilgrims.  The word to mouth that the presiding deity here ranked more benevolent than other deities residing in less popular temples. Residents and floating population made a beeline to this temple on auspicious days. As a result, this pilgrim found a large crowd converging at the entrance, creating a near stampede.

The fast-paced life left them with little or no time or patience to wait in a Q. Temple management, never failed to seize such opportunities to earn more revenue, arranged   for ordinary to very special Dharshan (dynamic rates - more crowd, higher admission fee) and promptly organised maze-like queues. After looking at the thronging crowd, the presiding deity started to wonder how to grade the boons bestowed to be? Cyclic, just like the phases of moon; full of grace on auspicious days and average to low on other days!

Once in the Q, this pilgrim’s fingers itched to get in touch with people on cell phone. Mind fully occupied with worries about the safety of footwear left outside the temple premises or availability and quality of food in a crowded restaurant or the scheduled time of departure, he looked at the Q in front of him. The Q that was either moving at snail’s pace or not at all, urged him to do something, to find a way forward. The inspired pilgrim took the tentative first steps by sliding forward overtaking a few standees and waited for them to protest. With none resisting this tactical maneuver, he boldly tries to sneak in to the adjacent rows, one at a time. He ignores a few low-key murmuring voices, all the while plotting his next move. 

After jumping the Q by two or three rows, without any compunction, he managed to gain some seniority. Realising that it might be the last transgression the other devotees might permit, the pilgrim desists from further attempts. When he reached the sanctum sanctorum, the temple staff singled him out and did not allow him to linger long in front of the deity. It was a photo finish even before the flash bulb could go ‘pop’! The deity chuckled at the devotee who the other day was so angered when someone else superseded him for a promotion! The deity then glanced at the moon’s phase, before deciding to bestow - a full or half or nil boon on this devotee! 

Bystander felt ashamed that he too had to move along with the errant devotee, but he silenced his conscience with the reason that it was the only option to capture the movement and triumph of the queue breaker. He felt relieved, as if he had evaded an ambush all intact, when finally, they exited from the temple complex. The devotee, satisfied with this accomplishment, hurried out looking for an opportunity to repeat the jump – manoeuver in another Q line in another temple.

Though Bystander admired the audacity of the queue breaker, he decided to make him to pay for his act with not so happy endings-

(1) The temple is just getting closed for the scheduled break as the devotee nears the entrance (2) Special security arrangement are in place and the devotee had no chance for intrusion (3) He runs out of time to reach the boarding point and he forgets to collect his footwear (4) Waits for his train at the wrong platform as he missed to pay attention to the announcement regarding change in platform.

Not satisfied with the O Henry type twists he had added, Bystander thought about doing the following, as a follow up action.

The malady-

Everyone seems to be in a hurry and love personal freedom. Jumping the Q or at least thinking about to do so happens almost as natural as blinking of an eye. Nobody has the time to think that there are other such individuals.  They too are in hurry and have similar inclination, intent and freedom to move ahead. In this scenario, how an individual deals with the inner conflict - appeasing the troubled mind by recalling/reciting the democratic norm “All are equal, but I am more than the equal?”

 The cure-

What is the solution, when everyone clamours to claim the more than equal status? Finding more reasons to make them stand in a Q which forgets to move, and gives no option to jump, may help to put an end to this urge. Collecting a hefty fine on the spot in the Q itself will make people to think twice before trying the trick. The above punitive measures will generate employment for more staff as Q minders, a public-public partnership!

Park Bench Assembly-Session 1: 233

The park bench and Bystander go a long way as he is a frequent visitor. It is inevitable that many faces become familiar and over a period of time, some of them become acquaintances and strike friendship. The purpose of this gathering is to relax and recharge their weary batteries from the humdrum travails of life. In course of time, their attention gets gradually diverted to discuss topics of varied interests. They decided to conduct the proceedings of this assembly, without interruptions such as protests, walkouts or suspension. It is their prerogative to desire what they want, is it not? 

Being a careful person, Bystander mostly tried to avoid joining the chorus, preferring to hear from the side lines. Sensing this aloofness, the speakers tried to draw him into these routines, somehow or other. While a group openly tried to breach the barrier, another one attempted to find hidden triggers that might work. Bystander managed to thwart the open attempts but failed to foil the efforts of the ‘hidden trigger’ diggers.

This digger group’s findings turned out to be simple. Any topic that has been blindly accepted and followed would likely trigger and compel Bystander to participate in their ongoing discussions. Furthermore, they found out that this irresistible compulsion in him is as natural as the attraction of the opposite poles and assured positive results. In earnest they started to line up topics, which Bystander could not resist to respond. With a collective heave of long drawn sighs, they got ready to prove their assumption. 

One of the friends pressed the first trigger by extolling the virtues of being religious. Another person joined with a statement regarding the lack of respect to the scriptures and the scientific wisdom they contained, especially from the Science and Technology community. Few more lent their supporting voices to reiterate, by pointing out that all the modern-day advancements have roots in these scriptures.  

Bystander could not keep to himself now. He joined the discussion to put across his perspective and said,” Religion and Science are parallel paths aiming to reach truth through enlightenment. Here I am using enlightenment, in a broader sense, as a means to get clarified and not mystified. It is imperative that both practitioners should inquire without bias or fear of criticism. If religion is a sacred belief or concept, Science along with Technology is the medium that gives you the proof; helping you to understand and appreciate. Science strives to prevent it from becoming a mere blind faith. They are inquirers and not inquisitors.”

Feeling this dose of verbal medicine to be a bit strong, someone in the group decided to change the topic only to activate another trigger as bait. He narrated the harmful influences the modern inventions and gadgets have brought to every household.

Having opened up, Bystander could not allow this blame on Science and Technologies to pass without expressing his views. He looked at the speaker and said, “Their purpose is to help and not to hinder. Only those who, without inquiring into the range of benefits and pitfalls, readily adopt assimilate and suffer. Communication, travel, medicine and a host of other fields, which we take for granted or expect to be delivered, are they at all possible without these technologies? What a Face book and WhatsApp parents expect to beget other than LinkedIn kids! Is it fair, but a convenient excuse to hide our ignorance and bias, to blame it all on these enabling technologies?”

As soon as he finished speaking, his cell phone started to vibrate stridently. He stood up and moved a little distance away answering the caller, signalled that he has to go home and will be back tomorrow. Sporting a broad smile, his park mates congratulated each other for finding and using the trigger s to change an onlooker to a participant. They hope to do so again and again, not to tease but to make their assembly sessions vibrant, without creating any hard feelings. For their part, the friends understood that Bystander was only expressing his views with no intent to compel or intimidate. Bystander too felt happy that his friends listened to his views with an open mind.

Oh, Man what a dream! 232

The heavenly abode was becoming a place of boredom for Him. With no soldiers to lead in wars and no bad demons to fight against, Ganesha was increasingly becoming restive. And to add to His woes, the pot belly was weighing down more heavily, hampering His movements. His ride, the Mouse had been voicing complaints about the increasing difficulty in carting around the extra burden. In all temerity, his ride even demanded swift action, though aware of His master’s handicap. 

The Doctors in the multi-specialty hospitals, wearing fancy coats, in Devlok have already lifted their collective hands, in despair. Ganesha dismissed their suggestions that He could visit Earth and consult with Doctors, for the nth opinion. He had grouses and reasons for refusing to do so. On Earth, nowadays only a handful of people cared to pray to Him and break the customary coconuts on the eve of His birthday. Students throng during exams, job hunters before interviews and all of them for any other special appeals. 

He was doubly unhappy that many of His idols were kept carelessly in the open and not housed in good shelter and the rituals of bathing, clothing and garlanding given a pass. This act of wanton neglect of believers left Him simmering with anger which only resulted in severe headache and sleepless nights. The fact that the prescribed medicines did nothing to kill the headache added fuel to His anger. His consorts could not find enough convincing arguments and reasoning to make Him understand that times have changed, and He too need to change. 

Their repeated lectures infuriated Him more and drove Him to direct His exasperation at a single source of know it all – Google search> and >Wikipedia>or> any other search engine. 

To divert His attention away from it all, He searched out the old records of past battlefield experiences to re-live and manage the throbbing, monotonous headache. The narrative had been closely supervised and only His close lieutenants were chosen to provide the source material after thorough vetting. He recalled showering His appreciation on these compilers for their monumental efforts, at that time. So He expected no bomb shells or hidden mines to surprise Him.

As He began reading the write up, His elephantine body started to vibrate and the nose cum trunk began to weave around like a windscreen wiper of an automobile. Such were the graphic details of the military exploits and reading about them now, filled Him with nostalgia and exhilarating thrill. He also remembered that these chosen compilers dared to forget the tradition of propitiating Him before embarking on this project. Though He had twisted their ears hard and made them to do 1008 push ups, He was not satisfied. In view of their efforts, He let them go off lightly.

On hindsight, now, He wondered whether more accomplished authors might have embellished the narrative and presented a better version!  He decided to ask Wikipedia to commission for a superbly written version, with additional inputs directly from Him, and pull down the existing one. After all, as a victor He could use the right/privilege to write or rewrite history, which essentially was His story!

Continuing to browse, He came upon the descriptive part on the ritual of smashing the coconuts to smitherns. He mentally thanked one of the lieutenants for having not omitted to describe to the authors how He ferociously smashed the heads of enemies, in the blink of an eye. Based on this narrative, the weak-hearted mortals had chosen coconuts in place of heads of enemies as their customary offering.  

A wry smile played across His face on thinking about the sincerity or lack of it shown by the current crop of job hunters, students and others who stood in front of Him and vowed to keep up their promises, if He helped them, this one time. Each had a different wish to be fulfilled and within a time frame.  He admired their business acumen in asking Him to grant their wish first and then wait for the promised coconuts offering!  He disliked them for giving Him a schedule, but in good faith, most of the times, granted their wishes.

When it was time to fulfil their commitments, they promptly forgot about the coconuts. He felt cheated when these people started using Google maps, to find alternate routes to avoid coming anywhere near the place, where He sat hoping and waiting. This irked Him more than their other acts. Lucky Me, they did not come back and ask for another favour to help them find the coconuts!

The weather, which was steadily worsening, gathering clouds, broke with flashes of brilliant lightning and an ear-splitting thunder. Jolted awake, the man shook his head in confusion and found himself in a near-dark room. His neck and body felt stiff, and his right hand had gone almost numb. He noticed the only light in the gloom was coming from the monitor screen. Coming to his full senses, he found the wireless mouse tightly held in his right-hand palm. Realisation struck him like a truck- he had snoozed in front of his computer, holding the mouse as though for his dear life. 

A daydream, but an interesting one, as long as it lasted – courtesy, the wireless mouse!