Not a deity to be taken lightly, he dashed off a confirmatory message and prepared to reach Ganesha's abode as quickly as he could. A hurried inspection, assured him that no docket, containing heavenly secrets, lay open to the prying eyes of any clandestine visitor. He believed in locking the vault first rather than chasing the missing documents, later. He chuckled to himself at this brief memory recall - of Yama's travails and trip down to earth, a long eons ago!
Arriving at the abode, Chitragupta expected to be taken inside to meet with Ganesha. Instead, his ears picked up an elephantine sigh, blaring out from a spot in the garden. There, he saw Ganesha trying to vent out his frustration. Chitragupta got the feeling, that nothing seemed to have worked so far to calm him down. During a turn in his trampling march, Ganesha caught sight of the visitor. Quickly, trans-positioning himself, he acknowledged the visitor with a flap of his ears - so tired, he was unable to even lift and wave a hand in welcome!
“Chitragupta, did you get the message, my trusted aide sent to you? Are you wondering about the many repeat messages? Mooshik, has become jittery nowadays and often looks overly confused. After sending the first message, he might have sent the second to ensure. To make sure of the second, he must have sent the third and not knowing when to stop, even now must be sending the same message, to you.”
“Ganesha, what is the matter? I found no mention of it in the messages?”
“Thank my jittery assistant for these ‘no content’ messages. Lately, he has been acting a little strange. Ok, now that you are here, let me tell you everything. Chitragupta, you know very well, that I am a go to and easy to please deity, with minimum fuss.”
“No doubt about that. Even a lump of clay or
turmeric paste is all that takes to invoke, worship and please you”.
“See, now you are also trying to make fun of
me for being too ordinary.”
“No, no. I was merely trying to bring out how easy
it is to approach you, compared to the other deities.”
“The rishis or the white bearded sadhus have
conspired to portray me as a down to earth deity. They hit me below the belt,
by introducing a lump of clay or turmeric paste to represent me. After invoking
my blessings, they cooly sideline me top start their main and grand Pooja. Don’t
you think, it is little far-fetched?”
“ I did not feel this bad, when Vyasa requested me to be his scribe. I happily obliged, with only one condition that once started, he should not pause or stop the dictation. When he hit a difficult passage, he wisely circumvented my condition by posing difficult riddles for me to solve. This naturally slowed down the speed of transcription. I knew he used them to gain time to think through, and to keep up the charade, I too went along willingly.”
Chitragupta watched silently, while Ganesha sat shaking his head, flapping the oversized ears and furtively glancing here and there. He understood that Ganesha wanted a breather, before pouring out his current woes. Unable to bear the suspense, he asked, “Are you expecting anyone to join us now?"
“Chitragupta, answer me, why being an
approachable deity should bring blames on to me?”
Chitragupta blinked and wondered, how was he
going to answer this question without knowing the context!
Ganesha continued, "A got-lucky devotee came with dozens of coconuts and started to smash them against a boulder, lying by my side. Exactly at that instant when a coconut broke into pieces, another devotee, passing by, got hit on his forehead. Of course, there was a little bloodletting."
"Oh, how unfortunate," murmured
Chitragupta.
“Yes, it was for me”, said Ganesha.
“The coconut smasher blamed me
for timing the arrival of the other person and the injured person blamed me for
the unprovoked incident. I was lucky that the coconut also did not decide to blame
me. Is this because I am an easy to please and easily taken for a ride deity?”
“Ganesha, you got unduly annoyed over this behaviour!”
“Chitragupta, hear this. Needy, greedy or solace
seekers throng to my simple abode. The problem is, like a chain store I have a temple,
in every street corner. As their ‘easy to please and easily taken for a ride
deity’ they either plead or at times threaten me, to make favourable things
happen or else tone. Should I be such an ordinary deity whom anyone can
approach, threaten and getaway?”
“I agree. Even for a deity, tolerance has a limit. Why don't you try and scare them a little, and bring them back on track?”
“How can I, being only the gatekeeper for the other powerful deities? Those who come and threaten me are devotees of those other powerful entities. This is my problem. How, being what I am, could I take cudgels against all of them?”
“Definitely, your problem is of a peculiar kind and your dilemma is understandable but inevitable.”
This sliding answer irked Ganesha. Narrowing his eyes in anger, he said, "Chitragupta, the messages were not sent asking for a chitchat. Maybe, I have overestimated your abilities to suggest a suitable solution. If so, free feel to go."
Chitragupta was unnerved by this outburst. He neither underestimated or overestimated his abilities. At the same time, suggesting a solution would surely put him in the path of an intense laser beam or land him in the slimy grip of a snake. Both the outcomes looked personally endangering. As a best option, he chose to call a time out, for now.
In a conciliatory tone, he said, “Superficially the problem appears to be simple, but deep down it is quite complex. Give me some more time to come up with a solution."
Ganesha retorted, "Are you trying to imply that this problem is more complex than those riddles I had solved for Vyasa?"
Taken aback, Chitragupta said "How can I infer so? I am nothing but a tally-maker, with limited numerical capabilities. Will you not agree with me that I am out of my depths, when it comes to riddles or human nature?"
Ganesha sensed a trap. If he agreed, Chitragupta cannot be forced. If he disagreed, then Chitragupta will escape, after rendering some more of the sliding answers. He knew, Chitragupta will bite the bait, if cornered. Raising his voice a notch, he retorted, "Is it your habit to answer a question with another one? Now you have no choice but to stay here till you find a solution."
Instantly, a background story began its run in Chitragupta’s mind – the sufferings of Brahma. Ganesha's brother Karthikeya had him imprisoned and in a fit of anger, his father Siva had clipped off his fifth head. Chitragupta understood the nuanced, unequivocal and implied threat. Ganesha was willing to follow their footsteps! His hope that his reluctance, to suffer like Brahma, would be appreciated, took a mighty hit.
Threat hanging over his head, Chitragupta managed to come up with two likely approaches. First option, to appeal to Ganesha’s family, requesting for an intervention, A long shot worth a cautious attempt by Ganesha. But it guaranteed two possible outcomes for the proposer. (1) He may have to run for dear life, to escape the wrath with the head still attached or to avoid the laser treatment or the jail term.
(2) He may have to befriend the many headed snake and get into its master's good books. Oftentimes, Chitragupta had wondered, if disturbed, who gets easily annoyed - the master or the snake? A snake bite is treatable but what about its master’s anger? Will Ganesha provide him with an insurance cover, against snake bite or the attack from a flying saucer of the snake’s master? Or to play it safe, will he choose the relationship as more important than my discomfort?
Unmindful of Chitragupta’s predicament, Ganesha happily resumed his plodding, listening to the peculiar crunching sounds coming out of Chitragupta's mind. Chitragupta has this habit of making these crunching sounds, while cursing himself - this time, for having rushed to respond to Ganesha’s messages. Chitragupta felt like a rat caught in a mouse trap. Being an intelligent “rat” himself, he hit upon an idea to come out of the trap unharmed.
Second option, to appeal to Ganesha’s intelligence, to solve his own problem. Approaching with a smile, he said, " With immense intelligence, you had solved Vyasa's riddles just like that. Probably, you’re thinking that complex problems should end in complex solutions. This might be preventing you from looking at simple solutions, as beneath your acumen!
Ganesha's heart swelled with pride, on being praised about his intelligence. He hastened to ask, " Chitragupta, what is that simple solution that I did not consider?"
“Just disappear from the worshippers’ landscape, wait and watch for a while. Your problems get solved automatically, without much effort!”
Though this suggestion perked up Ganesha's ears, he immediately sensed a hesitation. “Ganesha, if you don't want to disappear and drive away your devotees, I have this remedial suggestion. With your divine powers, you can simply change the colour of Mooshik from grey to black to brown and white and then back to grey, in a cyclic manner. This miracle will surely bring back all and some more devotees, to your door steps. Over all, how do you like my ideas?”
“Mmm, ok. I agree to try out the part of the idea that involves Mooshik. But, how am I to deal with the superior deities to sort out the sidelining issue?”
Chitragupta wondered why so many doubts sprout in Ganesha's mind! He explained, " Have no qualms about how the superior deities will respond. They follow divine principles, which they themselves have revealed and got a legion of sages and rishis to set them in scriptures, for posterity. There will be no risk of a confronting, but an outreach to find a solution for your inconveniences. At the end of the day, is it not all in the family?
Set aside, the fear of reprisals and boldly stage the disappearing act. The performers of poojas, will be perplexed and confused and their grand pooja plans will hit the roadblock. Half-hearted poojas will only invite the wrath of the propitiated. Sensing this stalemate, the superior deities will proscribe the act of invoking and sidelining you, henceforth. And you come out a winner!”
Chitragupta did not wait for a reply, and took flight at the first opportunity, happy to escape without a rap on the knuckle or a prison term. Ganesha was fuming within himself for hitting a cul-de-sac at every turn!
He resumed his solitary stomping-in-the-garden
routine, confused about the usefulness of Chitragupta’s solutions. For good
measure, he cursed Mooshik, for contacting Chitragupta.
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