Buckets as rain gauges.

A particular process building used to leak heavily during rainy season. Immediately after the rains, a team of people just walk into the building for an eye-witness account.

The facility Senior’s friend joined as a metrologist and expressed his desire to visit the work place. The senior told his Met friend to come on a certain date and promised to take him around various process facilities. For unknown reasons, the proposed visit could not take place as planned and instead the Met man came to the facility immediately after a thunder shower. He was received and shown around the work place. 

Here and there the Met man saw many plastic buckets kept on the shop-floor and asked to know the purpose. A dim-wit coolly said “They are our rain gauges Sir”

Then Mr. M said, sarcastically “So, no need for my rain fall report. Your measurement is as good as mine”

12 “2” watch and 2 to do.

A dim-wit started wondering why a task carried out by two or three individuals is always mentioned as team work.

He wanted to investigate and undertook visiting other work places on one pretext or other. He became very observant on these visits and maintained a detailed account for a few months.

At the end he summarized his perception of team work like this: If a job is watched by twelve or more persons when the actual job is being carried out by two or three persons it is called “team work”.

[The narrative though set in a specific environment , could have taken place in any private / government organization. This setting helps the reader spin their own yarn :) ]

East (or) west flight is best.

A particular gentleman had the habit of leaving the process facility suddenly, in a hurry, and this was noticed by the facility personnel on many occasions.

Initially they thought about it as of no significance. Then one day a brighter one among the dim-wits spotted a coincidence and told his friends to carefully observe the next time whenever the particular gentleman leaves the work spot hurriedly. Now many pairs of eyes were watching to confirm the coincidence.

After a month long vigil and cataloguing of the events they came to this weighty conclusion:
This particular gentleman was nervous to come face to face with a Task master and whenever the Boss arrived at the East entrance the particular gentleman took off through the West entrance to avoid being cornered and  managed to escape every time .

Years rolled by. The Task master got transferred to become a “nobody” and the escape artist managed to become “somebody” in the setup.

[The narrative though set in a specific environment , could have taken place in any private/ public sector manufacturing unit. This setting helps the reader spin their own yarn :) ] 

Shake well before use.

The new entrant was given the job of mixing liquid ingredients with a catalyst for use in a painting application. The new entrant was little assuming in nature and prided himself in doing things without being told.

He proceeded to mix the composition and started the application. After a time gap, his senior came to inspect the completed job. When he touched the surface his fingers became wet with the paint. The senior man understood the situation and calmly said “It is advisable to shake the bottle before use” and left the scene without another word. When the reality struck him, the new entrant understood very clearly the wisdom of shaking the bottle before use.

The senior man and the new entrant then started a guru-shishya relationship which later blossomed in to a family friendship!

[The narrative though set in a specific environment , could have taken place in a paint manufacturer's test lab. This setting helps the reader spin their own yarn :) ]

Then and Now.

A dim-wit retiring in a few months’ time was asked by colleagues to speak about his feelings.

He thought thus:
In the beginning of my career I commuted to the work spot by department vehicle (none will volunteer to give me a seat) everyday. On the day of superannuation, the facility will see to that somehow I was dropped back ( the front seat is kept reserved) at my house in a Sumo/Qualis.
When I joined, a new ID was issued (had to go around collecting it) and after 30 odd years when I retire another new ID (they will come after me to give it) will be issued”.
If one agrees for a farewell party, every one will recall my contributions and the vacuum I am leaving behind. But most of the speakers were blind to my abilities & contributions when I had years of association with them!

Dim-wit remained silent for a long time and finally said “It is really no change except that 30 odd years have passed".

[The narrative though set in a specific environment , could have taken place at any month, in any organization. This setting helps the reader spin their own yarn :) ]

Paper tigers.

In the initial phases, the work was done by individuals (in-charges) with the help of the staff members under them.

As time passed on, the in-charges started name-dropping to get the work done. As further time passed on, the in-charges gradually increased hierarchical status of the person for the name-dropping game.

Still further on in time, the situation became so worse, even the junior most staff member had to be convinced that the work was being done at the behest of the top-most man in the organization.

After years of working experience under such individuals, all the dim-wits have started their own games of name-dropping - They christened such individuals aptly as paper tigers.

[The narrative though set in a specific environment , could have taken place in a forest conservator's office. This setting helps the reader spin their own yarn :) ]

The case of the vanishing ladder.

In a process facility there will always be the need to arrange catering ,transportation, entry-passes for visitors, mail-room etc;.

When the dim-wit joined the organisation, these were taken care  by the concerned in-charges. Years later,another dim-wit joined the facility. During this time too, the above arrangements were being made on the signature of the concerned in-charge.

When a third dim-wit joined, the situation became little different. By this time the first dim-wit has become the in-charge and he was happily forwarding the requests without authorising them. The second dim-wit was under the impression that this is being done to please the Boss who has been elevated.

After one such incident, the second and third dim-wits asked the first “why are you not signing as the authorising officer?”

The first dim-wit replied calmly “It is the case of the vanishing ladder. As my boss got elevated, he has taken the power to authorise also with him”.

[The narrative though set in a specific environment , could have taken place in any private or government section office. This setting helps the reader spin their own yarn :) ]

Cracks on the wall.

On a sweltering summer day, Quick-tongue visited his friends in their work place. Due to closeness, the friends started airing the difficulties they were having with one of their bosses. Quick-tongue sympathetically heard them for awhile. One of the friends, in exasperation said “I think he has become a crack

due to this summer heat”. At this point, the Boss suddenly entered and on hearing the word crack became very serious and asked to know “who is the crack?”

Friends were really taken aback and were at a loss to handle the mess they have just created by uttering the word crack.

Years back, Quick-tongue also had gotten into a similar mess for uttering an innocent comment in a mess hall. Drawing up on that experience, he had the presence of mind to reply that they were discussing about the appearance of cracks in the concrete wall.

Quick-tongue then had to really survey the concrete wall to show a very minor invisible crack on the cement plastering. Though not fully convinced, this mollified the Boss a little.

Friends thanked and gave a treat to quick-tongue for his presence of mind!

[The narrative though set in a specific environment , could have taken place in a property developer's office. This setting helps the reader spin their own yarn :) ]

It is not in the label.

Certain facilities are permitted to keep dry-cell torch lights for inspection and emergency purposes. Periodical changing of batteries is usually entrusted to a person who has flair for such works. A ritual is carried out by him on once in 15 days to check whether the torch light is in good working condition. Those were the days when EVEREADY batteries were generally being stocked & issued from Stores.

On one fine day a critical inspection had to be hurriedly carried out. Few people gathered around the item to be inspected and called out to the torch-keeper (it is always kept under lock & key to prevent its’ somnambulist tendencies). The torch was brought after a considerable delay (locating the key-bunch, selecting the right key and rummaging for the torch).

When pressed ON nothing happened. The serious-faced in-charge last his cool and shouted “why have you not checked it”.

The torch-keeper tried some tricks and failed. He then removed the dry batteries and inspected them as though he was looking for a bacteria . After considerable delay he said “I thought the batteries will be ever ready but they are dead and leaked”.

The inspection effort was called off for want of fresh EVEREADY batteries.

[The narrative though set in a specific environment , could have taken place in a metallurgical lab. This setting helps the reader spin their own yarn :) ]

Not as good as the last time.

A Senior- in charge, used to state “not as good as the last time” on completion of a particular 'Finishing operation'.

This was repeated, as time (and the 'Finishing operation') went by.

One fine day, the 'Finishing operation' was completed and the dim-wits and long-faces in the facility kept to their counsel as the statement was being made (yet again!).

Finally,one of the dim-wits picked up some courage and argued stating “not as good as the last time” is a feeling and a qualitative statement. It can differ from person to person. He further asked “If to-morrow you are not there and I have to decide, how do I, draw upon from your feeling of not as good as the last time?”

The stony silence that followed effectively brought down the curtain on “Not as good as the last time”.

[The narrative though set in a specific environment , could have taken place in an adhesives testing lab. This setting helps the reader spin their own yarn :) ]

The novel buff.

A dim-wit can be troublesome at times. The following episode amply demonstrates a pleasant mess he can create.

A particular solvent is to be used as thinner for a specific spray coating material. The dim-wit in the facility was an avid reader of fictions. Being deeply moved by the possible carcinogenic effects of the above said solvent decided to do some thing about it.

He was impatient or unsure about the acceptance of his bookish knowledge. He was biding for an opportune time. This arrived when his seniors were out-of station. Basis his opinion, he took a unilateral decision and substituted the deadly solvent with a lesser harmful solvent. When this operation was being carried out, the panama cap man was on hand to witness the same.The man who had a nose for rain certainly did not miss the change in the odour of the solvent. Immediately he called the dim-wit and asked “Did you change the solvent?”

On hearing the affirmative answer, the normally pleasant mannered man got disturbed and phoned up his superior at the stroke of mid-night (we are night-birds you see). From  the one-sided conversation , the dim-wit understood that he has committed  a foolish act, though with the of best intention in mind. The panama cap man hung up the phone saying “now nothing can be done as the change has been made”

Next day the dim-wit received a tongue-lashing on violation of authority and protocols. Later on, this issue was discussed in higher forums and was ratified as a good change.

But the panama cap man was the first to acknowledge that the change has been made. He later asked the dim-wit to give him the title and page reference of the novel that catalysed the change!

[The narrative though set in a specific environment , could have taken place in a paint manufacturer's test lab. This setting helps the reader spin their own yarn :) ]

The panama cap.

Amongst us walked a tall gentleman of pleasant manners. Come summer, out will be his panama cap. Jauntily perching it on his head he will walk up and down, at least three to four times a day, to his domain of beakers, pipettes and burettes, spectrometers & particle size analyser's. He never was a white-coated scientist but looked every inch majestic out of it! He believed analysis is but a tool to come to the aid processing activities and never to be used to flog an operation!

While passing by, he will stop to look at the sky, talk about the thermals aiding the migrating birds, feel the weather, and predict rains or the absence of it.

During one such impromptu discussion, a weather man happened to be near by. He chuckled and said “So, no need for me to send you weather bulletins!”

Coincident or not it usually rains when the gentleman (in Panama cap) says it will! This breed of amateur meteorologists  is  absent today.

The case of too much and not that much.

 

On a particular morning, a quality inspector was called to obtain a stage clearance. With difficulty (so he said) he reached the work spot after a half-an-hour delay. This guy liked to fish in troubled waters hence looked for opportunity to put others in trouble. Simply stated he liked to hear his own voice with or without echo.

He gave lot of instructions and directed a lot of people to measure an object of 2753mm length. The measurement came to 2754 mm. When everybody had made up their mind that this is a good job, our friend thought otherwise. He insisted that the error be rectified and pontified, as even 0.1mm difference will not be tolerated,under his nose. He further made a statement that '1mm variation in 2753mmlength was too much'. To dispense away with his presence, the facility reworked and got the measurement right when he was avidly engaged in conversation and momentarily distracted from the activity.

For the final inspection in the evening, the same quality inspector was called. This time there was an excess of 2mm noticed in the finished dimension of 347 mm. remembering the morning episode, the facility offered to correct it.

To the surprise of all, the quality inspector said “2mm variation is not that much and can be left as it is”

[The narrative though set in a specific environment , could have taken place in a metal pipe manufacturing industry. This setting helps the reader spin their own yarn :) ]

Clothe Line Technology (CLT).

Few bright-eyes and long-drawn faces were having a heated argument over a cup of steaming tea. The atmosphere was cool as the air-conditioners were in full blast, yet the tempers were flying high. The topic that engaged the minds was whether hot air circulation is sufficient to remove surface moisture (or) the surface has to be heated to the boiling temperature of water?.

Bright-eyes were quoting Fick’s laws and long-faces were unsure and worried. Poor facility persons (some bright-eyed, some long-faced, some dim-witted) patiently kept vigil over the dead issue.  Suddenly the Facility in-charge lost his cool and said in baritone voice “It is common sense. Whether it is beauty moisture or muscle moisture the surface drying follows only CLT principle.

The moment these words were uttered, the bickerings stopped and a heavy silence descended. On each face a psychedelic play of emotions could be seen. Clearing his throat one of the long-face asked “what is CLT principle?” The bright-eyes wanted to know what is beauty moisture or muscle moisture?.

The Facility in-charge then explained CLT means cloth line technology which is employed by washer-men to dry clothes - be it is on a rainy day or a sunny day. He further added that at no point of time the drying cloth reaches a temperature equal to the boiling point of water. 

In all seriousness, the Facility in-charge then proceeded to explain that beauty moisture is skin deep (surface) and muscle moisture is bound moisture!.

After a lengthy discussion, the assembled participants concluded that hot air circulation will be sufficient for removing surface moisture! The audacious  facility-in-charge heaved a sigh of relief when nobody questioned how “bound moisture could be removed by CLT technique ?”

SBs and PSBs.

A manufactured product is spread on the work bench. A gathering of bright-eyes, long faces and dim-wits stood around the bench closely inspecting the product. The product had certain surface defects and the objective was to salvage the product for usage. The product comes in roll form and there were 10 such rolls to be inspected and salvaged.

Unfortunately, this had to be carried out in the Facility premises which had no air-conditioning. On such occasions, the Facility man is always placed at a disadvantage. For company he will have only the vendor’s representative. Both need the material for continuation of the work on hand.

The dead-lock centred on coining the correct term to describe the surface defects and agree on a number for each category as a salvage measure.

All the while the  facility man patiently waited like a hunter stalking prey. After allowing sufficient interval of silence, he slowly ventured to take the matter of christening the defects into his hands.

He simply lifted the product of about a meter length and dramatically positioned against day-light and uttered “These are see-through blisters and these are partially see-through blisters” He further explained saying “when you can see more of sun light it is a see-through blister and if sun-light is diffused and hazy it is partially see-through blister”.

The gathering of gentlemen heaved a sigh of relief and latched on to the erudite explanation. The happy gathering then proceeded to shorten the coined words as SBs & PSBs were glad to lay down a limit that the combined SBs & PSBs should be 25 numbers / m²

Fix a number to solve a Technical issue!

[The narrative though set in a specific environment , could have taken place in a rubber lining industry. This setting helps the reader spin their own yarn :) ]

The Grave-yard shift.

Some times, it so happens that, a momentous occasion goes by unnoticed.

A particular 2-part processing work started in the morning and was expected to  finish in the evening. This was a case in point that , good intention and planning alone will not be sufficient to end the day on a high note.

Being a first time operation, unplanned glitches, snags and stoppages prolonged the main operation (part-1) into late evening. It is often said that an army marches on its stomach but in our work culture, it has been taken for granted that a horse on empty stomach runs faster and far.

Dinner time came to greet the growling stomachs. Due to our over confidence we missed the dead-line to book dinner. With frantic effort and string-pulling, dinner was brought and consumed – thanks to the presence of senior officers over-seeing the maiden attempt.

Part 2 of the operation is a difficult even during normal working hours. A solvent at 60ºC is to be sprayed for cleaning the job. Since we were in catch-22 situation, arrangements were made to complete this operation also.

A late dinner took the toll on the senior stalwarts and they retired to the cooler climes (just outside the process arena to enjoy fresh breeze). Not used to the grave-yard shift, eye-lids becoming heavy with sleep they started lolling in their chairs”

Unaware of this development, the Team was busy pumping the hot solvent and spraying it inside the job. The job was rotating and so also the eye-balls of the Team. Such was the vapour concentration it had an anaesthetic effect and the Team started wobbling on its feet.

As the operation was nearing the end, the Team started looking for the stalwarts. They were oblivious and lost in their own worlds of slumber- leaving the decision making in the hands of juniors.

[The narrative though set in a specific environment , could have taken place in a rubber lining industry. This setting helps the reader spin their own yarn :) ]

Desi style Spanish siesta.

A particular process group is burdened with much manual work more or less like gang-men. The work load is heavy in the morning as well as in the evening,  but they had an able Operation-in-charge. The one thing that has to be said about this gentleman is that, he identifies himself whole heartedly with the staff members and leads them by example. He had a practical solution to get the work done without a murmur.

He not only allowed the staff members to avail some rest after lunch-break, in one of the air-conditioned process areas, but gave them company too!

Unaware of this intricate ergonomics, a new entrant tasked to seek out the Operation-in-charge went all over the place to find him. Finally when he peeped into the air-conditioned work place he was confused whether he had by mistake entered a railway station plat-form. He mistook the “siesta-ing” prone figures to passengers waiting to board a mid-night train!

[The narrative though set in a specific environment , could have taken place in an organic chemical industry. This setting helps the reader spin their own yarn :) ]

This too shall pass.

Over a period of time, we become over confident and trust equipments and processes more.
To illustrate this point, we have to move to another process building and so be it.

It was a fine morning and after the usual coffee break, a team of personnel accompanied the Head in his customary round (tour) of the process area under his control. A recently transferred person and a bright-eye (happened to be the friend of the new entrant) were in the crowd. The Head said to the new entrant” This equipment is so efficient that there will be no change in the measured sample parameter no matter from which corner the sample is drawn”

All nodded in agreement but the new entrant thought differently. Experienced in the Magic Show episode, he politely explained about right angles in the air flow path and the number of volume changes needed to give constant value for the measured parameter.

Annoyed, the Head asked a staff member to assist the new entrant to draw a sample for analysis from whatever place he selects.

Many samples were drawn from random locations and sent for analysis.

 After going through the values the Head said aloud “this equipment has become old”

[The narrative though set in a specific environment, could have taken place in an organic chemical industry. This setting helps the reader spin their own yarn :) ]

Grind in the mill.

Sometimes it so happens that you see a colourful brochure and get fired up in imagining that this is the equipment you have been looking, for a long time to purchase.

One a day the personnel of a particular process facility were quite taken by surprise, by the news, that new equipment has just arrived in Stores and they have the Honor of erecting, commissioning and using it.

Since it happened to be a pet project of blue-eyed boy, pressure was mounted on the facility staff to complete the works as early as possible. Day and night work was ordered and the blue-eyed boy himself supervised the works with vigour. He had already booked a flight ticket to meet and personally break the news to the Chairman.

A small gathering was on hand to witness the trial run. On went the equipment. It vibrated and shook a bit initially and then settled to a nice rhythm. Anxious faces were seen around the work area as a staff member collected a sample from the ensuing stream of crystalline material. 

The big man instructed him to immediately take it to the laboratory for particle size analysis. Not stopping with this, he moved over to a telephone and instructed the lab technician to give the result in 5 minutes. The five minute wait was stretching to 10 minutes and the big man could not hide his impatience. When the result came over phone, the enthusiasm drained from his face and voice.

He immediately chaired an emergency technical meeting. He wanted to know why there is a size reduction instead of particle classification.

A dim-wit picked up courage and philosophically said “Sir we have lost nothing. This new equipment could be used as a standby grinder”.

[The narrative though set in a specific environment , could have taken place in an organic chemical industry. This setting helps the reader spin their own yarn :) ]

The Sleep Walker.

The beginning of a night-shift is always the time for striking a bargain between a senior and junior. The senior, in his capacity as overall in-charge, had slight edge over the junior partner. It means he can decide his period & duration of forty winks. Generally there would be no problem provided the junior partner is not worldly wise.

In one such a situation, the junior partner cleverly told the senior he can avail the 1st slot. Without understanding the trick, the senior took the bait. Bingo! Within 15 minutes, the junior also started his forty winks. The senior clocked almost 8 hours and the junior had clocked 7 hrs 30 minutes.

As the shift came to an end, the senior came to and found his partner furiously writing the log-book. The senior was all pity for the other man who had stayed “awake” the whole night shift. He gently chided the young man why he did not disturb him!

Not able to hold on to the secret any more, the junior conversationally told him “Had I selected the 1st slot for my forty winks, it would have been only for an hour or so”.

The senior was left speechless at the audacity of his partner. After a while he asked “How you could manage to log the events of 8 hours so neatly?”

The reply he got was even more stunning – that is experience Sir!

The Hiss and Run.

The usual characters were engaged in a processing activity. Being the first time ,all were on tenterhooks. A flurry of activity could be seen with gentlemen in white coats (scientists) gesticulating and vigorously nodding their heads just outside the process building. Suddenly a hissing noise rented the air and our white coated gentlemen started running in panic. By the time they realized it, they have run a hundred meter dash – panting and fighting for breath.

A figure coolly emerged from the control room and waved to the frightened gentlemen. Slowly one by one picked up on courage and approached the control room, sensing (or was it hoping) that the hissing noise had died down. Anxiousness prompted them to ask “what happened?”

The control room in-charge laconically said “It is nothing. A vacuum hose has given away”.

Sheepish grins appeared in all the faces and with a sense of relief they trudged off to a nearby kiosk for a cuppa.

The Magic Show.

The new equipment has been erected and was to be commissioned by a “who is who”. Lots of preparatory works were diligently carried out. The D-day approached. Then realization dawned that the control systems will not be ready in time.

 At the stroke of midnight a bright idea was thought up. Like in festival celebrations, colored festoons were arranged. The moment came and so also the VIP. Unaware of the hood-winking, the VIP switched ON the equipment to the accompaniment of thunderous applause. The beaming VIP saw the colorful festoons flying madly in the induced air draft.

The gentlemen surrounding the VIP explained the features and functions of the equipment just declared commissioned. It was a great photo opportunity for one and all. The man who thought up the idea could be seen sporting a smile. 

This is not the end of the story. Three decades later history repeated itself for another - equipment but in a different location. Except for the fresher from the 1st commissioning drama, the man “sporting a smile” has happily retired. The situation was well managed by a different set of people.