Retirement Benefits: -69-

Superannuation (or) retirement ensures some monetary benefits, encomia and a farewell party. The Star of the day feels sad as well as relieved. Sad: to start a new kind of life.  Relieved: from the hum drums of a long, mechanical life.

The euphoria of accomplishment lasts for a week. Then, one start’s the process of “coming down to earth”.

Here is how it happens:
Charity begins at home, which is the epicentre for this process.

The wife initiates the downgrading. As an office goer, the Retiree got first preference for news paper as well as breakfast. Priority over News paper remains untouched unlike that of breakfast.

The Retiree would not have felt belittled but for the way it was done. Wife says, “Can’t you wait for another 10 minutes; any how you are only at home?” First let me serve our son and daughter. They are getting late.

The Retiree wonders how in a week it is the son and daughter who are getting late. How was this being managed earlier!

Next, the son will come up and ask. “Pa, are you free?” with out waiting for a reply he will off load a list of things to be done. That list looks like a grocery bill of a five star hotel.

The Retiree feels hurt on being told indirectly that he is free and doing nothing. Thanks God that his son is yet to complete his studies. If the son is employed, it will feel like a double whammy.

In comes the daughter. She says, “Pa, I am in a hurry to finish this project; help with photocopying these references!” Daughter, you know, shows a little politeness. If she is an office goer the tone may have been different, who knows!!??

Don’t let out a sigh, there is still more to come in the way of the Retiree.

Months pass. Madame starts bossing over him on unfinished works. Yet, she goads him to take care of his health, which he has been neglecting that, under the pretext of important office work.

Requests increase from the son and daughter.  Slowly the daughter might start obliquely to refer to the Retiree’s free time (read you are idling)

Friends (who are yet to retire) also join, at this point of time to draw the attention of the Retiree, that he was enjoying life when they were still toiling.

Fellow Retirees form a different category. Morning walks or visit to parks would invariably centre on topics such as “That man is lucky, as he is happy in retirement”, “My family mistreats me and expect only the pension amount”, “my son and daughter emptied my bank account” or some such thing.

Back home, the treatment varies if the son is married and living with the Retiree. Now, two more hands join in the process bringing him down to earth more often.

This is how it goes:
Son gets the first chance and says, “Dad, will you switch off the TV now; your grandson (or grand daughter) has unfinished home work; help to finish it”

(or)

“Dad, will you let Varun (Vanitha) to watch cartoons now; you can see the re-telecast tomorrow morning” The Retiree wonders whether he will get the promised free time tomorrow!!

Not to be left out, the daughter in law also may give a helping hand.

“Dad, I will get you a cuppa (of hot steaming coffee), can you take these clothes to the launderer?” The pile of clothes needs a donkey to carry. The Retiree wonders whether he had become one!

Then, comes, the salvo from tiny tots. But you move up a level in the hierarchy of relationships.  “Grandpa, grandpa (affection & task is proportional to the repetitive title used) can you finish this simple sketch & colour it?”

The Retiree cannot understand this - if it is so simple why me to help? Then he understands that the sketch in mind needs the artistic talents of a Picasso (or) a Rembrandt.

The last straw on the camel’s back will be loaded by relatives. “In your free time, can you go to the Railway Station to pick up my daughter? I am little busy and she is coming with luggage”

Is he looking for a friendly but unpaid porter?” But the relative did not mind it and reminds the Retiree to be at the platform for so and so train & such and such time!

Not to be left alone, the general public also lends a hand. “Oh, old man, be careful on the road”. Auto wallah's, mobike wallah's, car wallah's, bus wallah's – for that matter any driver wallah will drive you mad by offering unsolicited advice.

What is the solace, then for a Retiree? There are some benefits like these.

• A Senior citizen’s tag.
• Concession on Rail Tickets.
• A separate cash counter, in the 1st week of the month, in some of the Nationalised Banks.
• Slightly higher interest rate on deposits (i.e. if the retirement benefit is still in his control).

I hear a murmur, from Madame Retirees. I leave it to one of you to narrate your story :)

You are the reason - MD. -59-

The Muser joined a private company owned by a friend of twenty odd years. In the nineties the company was manufacturing elastomeric products and later diversified in to the production odd aerospace components as well.

The MD wanted help in developing new applications and products. He requested Muser to spend his retirement time to oversee the efforts. He might have been sizing up Muser for all those years.

Muser started organizing the Lab where the pilot study would start. He was dismayed at the next to non-existent facilities and wondered at what he was hoping to accomplish there.

In his professional life, prior to this assignment, he had developed new applications but was bitter that none of them were implemented whole heartedly.

He grabbed the chance, thinking that here was an opportunity for immediate industrial application for the hoped-for developed products. However, he had to acknowledge, the spirit of doing difficult things and to do it better than others was mutually shared.

Being a private company, the MD had to shift focus from one development to other on the basis of emerging bottle necks.

This forced the Muser to shift priorities from development to application techniques & solutions for technical problems. It was totally new and Muser resented interruptions. But he bit back the resentment as the technical problems were affecting established products plunging MD’s reputation toward land of disrepute.

Any solution had to be worked at lab level and in quick time. A cycle of investigation followed by a remedial action and proof testing would be a tall order for a well equipped lab – needs only thinking & execution.

Just imagine such a situation being handled in an ill-equipped lab and with slovenly staff. Even in that quest, the M.D would insist on no interruption in regular production.

This might seem paradoxical to anyone else but what do you expect from a lone head thinking of grandeur products and ending up delivering them half cooked.

Surely, the cause lay within him (MD). He was allergic to expenditure and welcomed any initiative not involving spending. He expected magic in coming up with a technical solution in minutes.

The MD possessed consummate skill in painting untrue picture as real to any one (customer) calling over phone. Might have become a successful screen play writer, if he had chosen to become one indeed!

The causality was always the developmental works, in various stages of advance. An avid reader of patents, he gets easily fired up in imagining his capability and sells the idea to some gullible customer. The dangled carrot is easily taken.

Both the M.D and the Customer did not pass to think that what was being bitten cannot be chewed. At home, he would reroute the development activities, turning it by 180º - the ills of carrying work to house.

Muser found the going tough .in his professional life so far, it was his focus and rigid approach that had paid dividends. Here the situation was opposite to organized attempts.

Many well shaping projects either got abandoned or ended too late. One such development that came too late was in-house treatment of a, manufacturer finished product, to be later converted as a critical space application component. Right from day one, the project had seen only hurdles – improper equipment, insufficient preparatory works and steady interruptions.

The bitter emotion was piling up in Muser’s mind and became a constant irritant. In small doses he vented out this bitterness in discussions with other friends.

One day, the M.D requested Muser to come to the Office. Three gentlemen from another Project had come for a status review. Muser realized that the discussions might have been going on for some time, since one the gentlemen asked the Muser a specific question. This gentleman had earlier met with Muser once or twice and knew of his woes.

As usual M.D might have painted a rosy picture. He introduced Muser to the other two gentlemen with some titles. MD followed this technique, of putting someone else in the spot, to gain maneuvering space.

Of the two gentlemen, one man wanted to know why the developmental project was running behind schedule. He wanted to know the exact reason for the delay. To play the role of an onlooker, MD asked Muser to go ahead and answer, which the MD always liked to do.

All the pent up emotions welled up like a tsunami. Muser spoke in a clear and unmistakable voice – You are the reason Mr. M.D

The readers can now imagine what emotions this would have evoked in those individuals.

Credit it in the Bank.

In the following narrative the Muser was plain-spoken. When the occasion demanded, he didn’t mince words to express his mind. This had earned him the sobriquet “Mr. V B L (vocal before logic)”.
After his brush with the Works Manger (WM), many tried to boss over him thinking that they can cow him down by simply drawing attention to that earlier, game changing meeting (Read ‘One Legged Crow’ for more light!).

When something like this was afoot, none other than the WM came to the rescue of the Muser. The WM was greatly impressed by the galvanized change as well as the high octane performance of the Muser. Net result - the roster of silent enemies swelled like ‘river in monsoon’. His detractors had to lie low as WM was closely related to the MD of the company and had sweeping powers vested in him. Now who would want to get into the wrong books of the WM!

One of muser’s detractors was designated as acting Plant Manger (PM). One fine day he happened to chair a meeting to convey management’s appreciation on successfully completing a complex task. Muser was the team leader. Muser along with his multi-discipline team members came in (as usual, on time). The Chair was yet to be occupied. This “punctuality” irked him the most and a verbal cauldron had started to boil in his mind.

The meeting started about ten minutes late and the Chairman (the Acting PM) heaped praises on the team members for having come up with an ingenious solution to solve a technical issue. He tried to impress the team by highlighting the savings of the company, due to the innovative solution. He stressed on how good the balance sheet would be looking at the end of year.

The team felt that this was like going overboard without speed control. The muser clearly understood that the Acting P M was parroting from a prepared note given by the budget controller’s office. The muser had an axe to grind with the budget controller’s office.

He patiently waited for the blaaah blaaah to be over and said “Sir, if the work, that we had completed deserved credit and meant so much to the company ,then why not credit a portion of the anticipated profit in to our individual accounts?”

The Acting P M lost track of his speech, murmured something and hurriedly left the conference hall.

The team members were happy that their leader somehow raked up the issue of pay-hike, which was long overdue. They took leave of him with (grudging) admiration.

Mr. Omkar

Morning walk presents a plethora of opportunities to come across people of different style, mannerism or idiosyncrasy.

Being a regular walker, my eyes and ears are wide open (mindful walking) to register visual and audio inputs. I am equally aware that others might be apprising me similarly.

Few characters merit mention. A 60+ gentleman jogging in flaming red attire, 40+ gentlemen wakatalking merrily on the wrong side of the road (any way which is the right side?) and a tall 50+ gentleman, in  track suit, emitting guttural sounds. From among all, I chose to tag along a 45+ gentleman during one of my morning walks. Why? Read further.

The next day I trailed the 45+ man from a distance and could hear a low-key stuck-up car horn sound emanating in his wake (air waves). Unaware of my intent he was happily letting out a long drawn syllable in to the morning air.

Increasing my pace, I drew close to him and heard the mono syllable “Ohmmmmmm” loud and clear. He must have sensed my presence which might have upset his rhythm. Feeling shy of my eavesdropping, he immediately switched off his vocal cords. Not to interfere anymore with his “mindful walking”, I pulled fast ahead, increasing the distance between us. Again a feeble “Ohmmmmmm” wafted through the morning air.

Unnerved or feeling bored with my unsolicited attention, Mr. Omkar must have chosen an alternative route to mind his own “mindful walking”. I am yet to see him again.

Gemini Complex

There was one indefatigable person of a senior rank working in the Organization. Besides his technical responsibilities, he had endeared himself to others by extending (even unsolicited) support to all personnel across Canteen to Medical Departments. He was an extempore speaker and a slight hint Departments. He was an extempore speaker and a slight hint was sufficient for him to grasp the problem and dazzle people with his solutions.

Years rolled by, he steadily rose up in the hierarchy and was entrusted with complex projects. At any given time, a mountain of files will be waiting for his perusal and decision. In between he will attend phone calls or be placing them. If any visitor happens to call on him he will switch his attention and attend to him effortlessly. He never exhibited irritation on interruption, rather gladly welcomed them.

In short he was an “mdmt” (multi-disciplined multi-tasker). Handling projects came to him naturally and he could demand and get the personnel vetted by him. This ensured that he always had a dedicated team on hand. Due to closeness with the Boss the team had the liberty to meet with him at any time or place, not necessarily on technical matters.

For all the emerald like qualities he had a simple flaw – choosing circuitous routes when a straight cut path was available. Inconvenienced, the team members did not take it up with him out of the reverence they had.

In desperation, they named the typical operating style as “Gemini Complex”. This name was coined by some old timers (who have already worked in other projects under him), but the love for the Boss was such that they uttered the nickname also in reverence and nostalgia.

Virus Venugopal.

Early 90's was dominated by Word Star7, dbase, Lotus 1-2-3 and diskette drives (pen drives appeared later). Computerization drive was initiated as a part of Organization’s policy. Under this pretext departments/sections that were not enjoying this privilege were allowed to procure a PC through the central pool. This was done post snide remarks, acrimonious debates and rivalry.

The gentleman in question, Mr. Venugopal, from his earlier avatar as a design engineer, had worked in various departments. His stay was of short duration in each department- unacceptable to the Head & Staff.

A Computer buff that he was, always collecting useful/useless data and variety of software. He was always seen with a pouch full of floppies. All he wanted was the friendship of someone having access to a computer. Another trait of his was the desire to use a PC which he has not used earlier. He fulfilled his desire by steadily striking friendship with many colleagues.

He happily edited re-edited, formatted and loaded latest anti-virus & other software. During this work, he volunteered to coach gullible individuals thus extending his stay on the PC.

After sometime this gentleman found to his annoyance that no one was willing to allocate time for him to work, as he had used all the newly installed PCs.

He was not to know, at that time, that all the gullible persons had got together and decided that ‘enough is enough’. They also nicknamed him as “Virus Venugopal” as he had spread virus in all their Personal Computers!

Mr. M

Mr. M needs special mention. He could have easily passed off as an officer in any one of the three characteristics-  hair style, walking posture and talking in commanding voice (whenever needed) .

He was the only person, greatly liked by his colleagues even after taking voluntary retirement (VR). The special mention about him is due to his pedagogic prowess which held all of us spell bound.

A year or two after his VR, he visited us.  Nearly all his erstwhile colleagues came to meet with him, that too on a Sunday (skipping DD serials).

Wanting to enjoy the togetherness, some one from amongst us requested Mr. M to regale us with his wits.

He narrated the following incident:

“My driver ran a red signal (as it was changing). An alert traffic cop blew his whistle and walked across to the parked vehicle. On the spur of the moment, as the cop was peeping through the window, I shouted at my driver- “When CP hears about this, you dumb-wit, do you know what will happen? The CP will hit the roof and eat you alive.””

“Hearing the mention of CP several times, the traffic cop hesitated, backtracked and then waved us on”

Then the some body who asked for a funny story asked the speaker “Sir, by CP did you mean the Commissioner of Police? Do you know him?”

He said: “I just happened to pass through CP Road before being stopped at the signal. At that moment CP sounded majestic and powerful, so I repeated it as many times as possible like a mantra. That is all”

He added this as a passing shot: “May be the cop mistook me, for army personnel and might have heard “CP” as “MP” (Military Police). Luckily the cop did not ask for my ID”

The audience burst in to a thunderous applause, giving him a standing ovation.

Fine Toothed Comb.

The Organization did research in hi-tech area and suffered the effects of embargo. Naturally, everybody in the Organization felt that he (or) she was engaged in Nation building effort. This sense of pride led to many funny scenes. We will revisit one such an incident.


The staff bus, common to mid-level to the last grade employee, came to a halt at the Security Gate. Since the feeling of nation building has rubbed on to their hearts also, vigorous checks were carried out, sparring none, at the close of work every day.

On a particular day this is what happened. A self-assuming officer boarded the bus at the gate, as security check was in progress at the back rows. Thinking that the security might not trouble him, as check at the front rows have been completed, he nonchalantly took his news paper out of brief case and started reading.

With a wide-angle vision the security guard has seen this gentleman taking a front row seat. He politely asked SAO to open the brief case for check. SAO tried to stall such a move by pulling his rank and lengthy lecturing. The security man was as insistent to complete the check.

SAO looked around eye-pleading support but none came his way. Yeah, every one had an axe to grind, including the security guard. Finally the brief case was very reluctantly opened up for check and the personnel sitting nearby the SAO could get a clear glimpse of the contents.

The security guard cursed his day; he too had caught sight of the few strands of hair on a fine toothed comb and a lunch box. He waved the bus on thinking “why much ado about nothing (or) the ado was about the nothing!”

Complex of sentences.

The all powerful was a short statured and short tempered man. Anybody entering the sanctum sanctorum did so on his/her own peril. But he was a little considerate toward the she-gender. The only difference was that the papers put up for approval did not take the aerial route to reach the applicant.

The maverick cum novice was an avid reader novels! Believing strongly that these authors’ style was good enough, he always prepared written technical communications using many colons, semi-colons and other punctuation marks except the full stop.

He took pride in drafting a paragraph, of running matter, literally driving the words replete with adjectives, conjunctions, adverbs and what nots.

His labour produced a three page technical note and as the it s important, he personally took it up to The Boss for perusal and approval.

Muted arguments could be heard, as he waited in the ante-chamber room to gain entry in to the sanctum sanctorum. A colleague, with a sheaf of papers, rushed out wiping his face with a hk.

Cursing his bad luck, maverick-novice entered the inner chamber and placed the  note on the table with trepidation. Seconds became minutes and the minutes became half-an-hour.

Finally, the Boss said “can you not write in simple sentences (or) is it that you have a complex that allows you to write only in this manner?”. Then he scrawled an “I agree” on the note and said “See how simple this is?”

Later on the novice came to know that The Boss did not like to read complex sentences. The novice cursed himself as to “why he did not think of reading the whole note and got it approved in seconds?”

Boss-o-sphere

A dim-wit with penchant for making posters joined a facility. Over the years he gained working experience with 4 super bosses, 7 bosses and 3 lesser bosses. He decided to make a poster show of his experiences and it looked some thing like this:

Steno white:
Correct your draft till such time the type-written page is all whitened with fluid

Left in the lurch:
I have my car, you catch your bus.

The X factor:
Improve your common sense

Mr. Xerox:
I know what you know.

Saheb, Beewi and holidays:
Works are planned on holidays. Review on Monday.

The Blamer:
Who did this?

Emperor stri(o)kes:
You are not accommodative.

Leave Denial:
1)Why are you taking permission to go to hospital?
2)Your son is writing the exam. Why do you want leave?

Buck shot:
Can you plan your leave next week? I am on leave this week.

Washing Machine:
I am busy. You explain this to so and so…

Interview:
You did not do well in the interview. You have no grip on the subject.

Uthappa and bellyappa.

This episode, which happened years back illustrates the fact that human element will always play a role in any activity.

In a work place there is no dearth for earthly humor ,as this episode illustrates.Persons coming in round the clock duty rely on the catering services for breakfast and dinner.

A typical conversation, over phone, goes as described below:
“ I want to book 4 packets of breakfast. What is the menu today?” asks a caller.
“Uthappa” the caterer replies.
“Oh! Gaskets for breakfast today” exclaims the caller.

On another day…
“Book 2 packets of breakfast for me. What is the menu?” enquires the caller.
“Uppuma with vadaa” replies the caterer.
“Oh ..  no, today bellyappa , Ayethay naakku vadhu” caller disconnects.
[Ayethey naakku vadhu means 'Then I don't want, in Telugu]

For those of you wondering what all this means, some explanation will clear the air.

“Uthappa” has been Nick named as gasket as it has a striking resemblance and taste of a rubber gasket.

“Uppuma and vadaa” combination ooze with cooking oil. A diet conscious cricket buff has named it as “bellyappa” in mockery of the former cricketer P K Bellyippa who was lean and lithe.

[The narrative though set in a specific environment, could have taken place in a Private or Public sector unit. This setting helps the reader spin their own yarn :) ]

'Snake Dance' and 'Pop Music'.

 This episode, which had happened years back illustrates the fact that human element will always play a role in any activity.

In a work place there is no dearth for earthly humor as this episode illustrates.

Prof. X, dim-wit, new entrant and man-Friday (mF) for company were discussing about commissioning a pulveriser.  Prof. X said “Boys, let ourselves do the needed works” To emphasize the importance of the work on hand, he gave an extempore lecture on particle surface, surface moisture and his pet theory about anti-caking agents etc. Thus electrified, the team proceeded to put together the mechanical assemblies. If a fastener was short mF ran to the next facility (43 meters) to fetch it. If a gasket was needed again mF ran another 43 meters. Similar exercises were given to him (you see Prof. X liked to handle one issue at a time) to collect a hose, hose clamp, “T” couplers, pressure gauge and flanged sleeves. Like a mule driver, Prof. X made his team to sweat it out.

The time came for a test run (CBM) before inviting a VIP to declare the equipment commissioned. Prof.X looked at his watch and said “Now it is 1130 and by 1200 hrs we will have the 1st dry run”.

At the stroke of noon, the signal was given to open the compressed air supply line to the pulveriser. With a vroom the equipment started the pulverizing action. Elation was painted all over Prof. X’s sizeable face. Dim-wit, New entrant and mF stood close by not to miss the excitement.

Five minutes passed without any hiccup. Suddenly, there was a whoosh and out came the temporarily tethered air supply hose – rearing like the hood of an enraged king cobra.

Exactly at that instant, Mr. Strict (safety officer) entered the scene, took in the details and left in a hurry.

Ten minutes later, Prof. X and Dim-wit were subjected to a verbal grinding and could barely escape with their professional integrity intact. “Pop” music was still ringing in their ear drums.

[The narrative though set in a specific environment, could have taken place in a Fine-Chemical's manufacturing unit. This setting helps the reader spin their own yarn :)]

Fish eyes and polka dots.

We will revisit the particular facility which does spray painting.

Ages ago, the facility used to employ a red coloured painting material. A bright-eye, a dim-wit and a long-face always inspect (team work) the surface after coating. Tiny bubble like imperfections used to be noticed during such inspections but was passed fit for further works.

After some years, the composition of the painting material was changed and had black pigments instead of red. A new dim-wit had joined the inspection team by that time. On one particular occasion, the spray coated surface was having number of spots. The top Boss was called in to show the numerous surface defects.

The experienced dim-wit explained that similar smaller surface defects have been seen with the earlier coating material, but this time, the defects are larger in size.

On hearing this, the Boss impatiently asked “Can you not give a photographic explanation?”

To this the experienced dim-wit replied “Earlier ones were like fish-eyes and now it is polka dots”.

“In the seventies we had fish-eyes and in the nineties they have become polka dots” the Boss concluded and left.

[The narrative though set in a specific environment, could have taken place in a paint manufacturer's unit. This setting helps the reader spin their own yarn :) ]

The presentation man faces music.

A particular gentleman was fond of presenting papers in seminars and conferences. Unfortunately, he could not do the hard work to prepare the presentation material. He relied up on his subordinates for this.

The subordinates were exasperated by the work load of collecting topical information, drafting, re-drafting, re-re-drafting (the presentation man can do only one thing better - finding faults) and preparing the final presentation material.

After some time, the subordinates got together and decided to pull a faster one on the unsuspecting paper grabber.

The much awaited opportunity came, in the form of an international conference. They gladly agreed to prepare the presentation material and had a well-planned strategy. One went on an emergency leave, another pleaded forgetfulness and yet another person misplaced prepared notes and had to start it all over again.

It so happened that the presentation man had to be away for a considerable time on a family emergency. Yet he took time to contact his subordinates (whoever was available near a telephone) and tried to hasten up the preparation work.

With all these, he could not get time to even see the first draft. As bad luck would have it, he did not get a chance to see the prepared material till he opened it for presentation.

No words could describe the shock he felt after reading the title.

He was supposed to present a paper on “Cascading effect of errors in industrial production” and the material on hand dealt on “Cascading effect in musical productions”

Seasoned he was, the presentation man was not deterred by this mix up. He calmly read the paper and summed up like this:

“As in music, industrial production gets affected in two ways-

(1)        Synergic errors lead to quality in industrial production and

(2)        A-synergic errors lead to casualty in industrial production”

Accustomed to standing ovations, the presentation man was seething inside for the stony silence that greeted him.

[The narrative though set in a specific environment, could have taken place in any Private or Government organization. This setting helps the reader spin their own yarn :)]

Quick-fix.

Operational problems surface at inopportune moments. A quick assessment on the impact of the fall-out always dictates that “the path of least resistance” is the only option. Here too, a lot of care and forethought is needed to get the right people in the right time. Mr. Trouble-shooter (Mr. TS) had this uncanny ability!

Mr. TS always relied upon Mr. Quick-analysis (Mr. QA) for a solution.

The section in trouble approaches Mr. TS and he in turn phones up to Mr. QA. The imaginary conversation goes on like this:

Mr. TS: “QA what are you doing?”

Having worked together for long, Mr. QA had developed clairvoyance and responds with “what is your trouble now?”

Mr. TS: “We have a small process problem here and I am waiting”. The phone gets disconnected at the other end.
Minutes later Mr. QA walks in.

Though he sports a lazy look and walks un-hurriedly, he misses no detail. He talks to the operating personnel, inspects the job and moves into an adjoining office room. Mr. TS follows suit to facilitate and add to the ambience.

He queries the section in-charge “Are you confident? Do you have a suggestion?” Mr. TS adds some encouraging sound bytes to the proceedings.

Mr. QA dictates the “minutes” of a one-man emergency meeting, patiently waits for it to be made, reads, corrects, gets it redone and signs.

QA walks out of the room without even waiting for a thank you. A processing operation put back on stream!

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we are as adept as Mr.QA or should he be called Mr.Quick Fix!

[The narrative though set in a specific environment, could have taken place in an Engine assembly and test facility. This setting helps the reader spin their own yarn :)]

As per document.

This episode, which happened years back illustrates the fact that human element will always play a role in any activity.

A paint composition was being weighed for usage. A well experienced and sincere person was entrusted with the job. After weighing, the composition was stirred vigorously, as per document, and delivered for application. The paint  coated job has to be warmed for period of time and then one more coating with the same composition had be applied ,after cooling down the job to ambient conditions.

For this second part of the work also, the same experienced and sincere person was asked to weigh the needed materials. Second time painting application for the job was completed and loaded into the oven for a temperature spell.

Midway through the heating cycle, the experienced and sincere person came to the in-charge with a serious face. A tinge of nervousness could be seen on the person’s face.

The perplexed in-charge asked him “what is the matter?”

The experienced and sincere person replied “sir, I have made a mistake. For the 1st coating I had inadvertently interchanged the quantities of A and B. I realized it only now and I don’t know what to do”

The in-charge did some mental calculation and based on his assessment of the condition of 1st coat’s characteristics he replied “Don’t worry. Nothing will happen and nobody will ever know as you have recorded the right quantity for A and B” as per document!.

At-times, practical knowledge helps us clean our act !

[The narrative though set in a specific environment, could have taken place in a Paint manufacturer's unit. This setting helps the reader spin their own yarn :) ]

Adieu.

A dim-wit, who ha(d)s not endeared himself to enter into anybody’s good books, was asked to give his opinion on farewell parties (You see even persons not liked by many will have a few colleagues).

Not to disappoint them, the dim-wit said “Personally I hate those parties. However I would like to be given one”

His friends were taken aback.

Then he, with his characteristic bluntness replied “At least I would get to hear a few good words about me. That is why I like to be given a farewell party”

His friends are still debating whether to arrange one or not.

[The narrative though set in a specific environment, could have taken place at any month, in any organisation. This setting helps the reader spin their own yarn :) ]

Buckets as rain gauges.

A particular process building used to leak heavily during rainy season. Immediately after the rains, a team of people just walk into the building for an eye-witness account.

The facility Senior’s friend joined as a metrologist and expressed his desire to visit the work place. The senior told his Met friend to come on a certain date and promised to take him around various process facilities. For unknown reasons, the proposed visit could not take place as planned and instead the Met man came to the facility immediately after a thunder shower. He was received and shown around the work place. 

Here and there the Met man saw many plastic buckets kept on the shop-floor and asked to know the purpose. A dim-wit coolly said “They are our rain gauges Sir”

Then Mr. M said, sarcastically “So, no need for my rain fall report. Your measurement is as good as mine”

12 “2” watch and 2 to do.

A dim-wit started wondering why a task carried out by two or three individuals is always mentioned as team work.

He wanted to investigate and undertook visiting other work places on one pretext or other. He became very observant on these visits and maintained a detailed account for a few months.

At the end he summarized his perception of team work like this: If a job is watched by twelve or more persons when the actual job is being carried out by two or three persons it is called “team work”.

[The narrative though set in a specific environment , could have taken place in any private / government organization. This setting helps the reader spin their own yarn :) ]

East (or) west flight is best.

A particular gentleman had the habit of leaving the process facility suddenly, in a hurry, and this was noticed by the facility personnel on many occasions.

Initially they thought about it as of no significance. Then one day a brighter one among the dim-wits spotted a coincidence and told his friends to carefully observe the next time whenever the particular gentleman leaves the work spot hurriedly. Now many pairs of eyes were watching to confirm the coincidence.

After a month long vigil and cataloguing of the events they came to this weighty conclusion:
This particular gentleman was nervous to come face to face with a Task master and whenever the Boss arrived at the East entrance the particular gentleman took off through the West entrance to avoid being cornered and  managed to escape every time .

Years rolled by. The Task master got transferred to become a “nobody” and the escape artist managed to become “somebody” in the setup.

[The narrative though set in a specific environment , could have taken place in any private/ public sector manufacturing unit. This setting helps the reader spin their own yarn :) ]