Thus Mr. Alexander Graham Bell (posthumously) started playing a key role in the activities of her beehive. In the monthly bills, the calls made by me worked out to a meager 2%. When I brought this to her notice, she pulled out the phone bill and showed the column under fixed monthly rental charge +service tax on net payable and did some exclusion mathematics. By this manipulation she proved that my percentage has doubled to 4%. What a humbling experience, in computation!
The time came for a cell phone (I don’t know who is credited with the invention of this midget) and a cautious first step was taken to go with a pre-paid plan as a pilot project and later switch over to post-paid plan. I failed to understand the full significance of the move at that time. The Pre-paid cell phone is like a metered taxi –shows usage charge and current balance and the post-paid gets you the amount due by SMS.
The post-paid service providers must have taken a leaf out of BSNL’s practice of postponing the surprise attack to a fixed date in a month.
The previous logic of my wife in excluding the fixed rental charge + service tax on net payable, took to vanvas with two bills clubbed in to one (BSNL users only). The other service providers might have allowed her to use a different kind of logic – lucky I was sticking to BSNL and one mesmerizing logic.
The cell phone in the hands Madame caused spectrum ripples to generate route for revenue out go and enlarged her circle of friends. I have to thank Madame, even under this spectrum swamping, for keeping my name in the phone memory and God for restricting the Englishmen to just 26 alphabets!
She later added a broadband service on the land line to go international - Skype & Googletalk waiting in the wings!
The cell phone became a conjoined appendage on her person. Short Messaging Service will not do for her, as the discussions could be lengthy and vocal presentation certainly has an edge. If any one of us happens to travel – she emulated IRCTC’s follow your train facility or “wherever you go our net work follows” slogan of a cell phone service provider. To make use of the free calls, the land line and a comfortable chair with a foot rest was all she needed. The broadband connection, increased the number of out going calls as she sought web site addresses or had to alert friends to watch a live streaming or for down loads ( a U tube, I tube or a Y tube!) .
So habituated to the convenience of a cell phone, her recall mnemonics started fading and had come to a stage where land line numbers refused to surface in her mind. The poor Bell’s instrument could only look on speechlessly at the cell phone – as it only required the name to get connected.
I felt relieved from the sessions of analyzing my share of the pie. The pie chart looked more appealing to her than the histogram (midget high) and line graphs (my line keeping company with the X-axis. She prudently feigned loss of interest in all the forms of graphical analyses.
Then out of the New Zealand’s blue sky, her brother asked her to come ‘down under’ to Auckland. Not forgetting me, he invited me too to make the trip. The ever ready woman said ‘yes’. I had to decline owing to prior commitments. By hind sight, this happened to be a blessing in disguise – I now got the opportunity to describe her predicament with a cell phone not having an international roaming facility.
In a week of hectic preparation, personal things were packed, Couriered visa application was filled, and an air ticket was blocked for the onward flight. Her younger brother, residing nearby, was coordinating all the paper works. To let her friends know- calls were made, directions obtained, travel tips (including making phone calls) and dollar exchanges rates –using the communication network available on hand-land line, net and of course the cell phone!
Here is a small interesting episode – the new cell phone bought for this occasion failed her. When I offered mine as a substitute, she reluctantly took it, saying she had to get used to it anew -as if it was different in the case of a brand new cell phone. Unquestionable logic! I did some ground work to get a new SIM card for making international calls. She had planned to complete the formalities 3 or 4 days before the onward journey. A slight delay in the visa processing provided her with an opportunity to visit the ashram of her guru. By that time she retuned, the passport & ticket were waiting, so also the Christmas holiday. The service provider did not get the statutory 72 hours to activate the SIM card – ‘the wherever you go we follow” slogan and her dear cell phone deserted her inside our national border itself.
Her younger brother saw her off at the air port. Though I did not accompany her to the airport, yet I could easily visualize how she managed her passage through check-ins, immigration and boarding the aircraft – sporting a pleasant smile, seeking information and guidance, making friends all through these formalities and stopping short of meeting the pilot. Once on board, the cabin crew getting a non-troubling passenger would have walked the extra meters to extend all the help. Only one thing I was not sure about was- ‘whether she felt those little butterflies in her stomach and the hard mass of uneasiness welling in the chest cavity and stopping teasingly at the throat’ during the take off and landing to complete the first leg of her flight.
The expected call from the stop-over, for change of flight, air port did not materialize – may be she did not like the phone booths or had nothing to convey on an uneventful flight except for occasional air pockets. Airborne again, she might have spent time in reading, conversing or by simply seeping it off. The altitude of nearly 10 km or the freezing cold hugging the speeding jet plane might not have been part of her contemplation – that much I was sure.
The minimum take off speed, stalling speed, landing gear folding and unfolding, outer marker on the runway, approach angle and maximum landing speed etc might not have crossed her mind. She always believed in a positive energy envelop that had been guiding her so far, feeling this guidance system to be superior to that of ATC, GPS and the ALS at the air ports. These thought might have made the jet plane too, to pause and think about it, frequently during the long flight resulting in a delay of about 2 hours over the expected time of arrival (ETA).
It was me who broke the international barrier first, with trembling fingers, ISD call rates & anxiety vying with each other- and called up my brother in law. He assured me that the aircraft is due for landing in an hour’s time and is getting ready to go to the airport. “The wherever you go we follow” slogan standing by my side- exhibiting its national spirit! The butter flies in my stomach were getting ready to go else where, but not yet. The butterflies migrated, after two hours when my wife spoke to me on phone. Wonder of wonder was not about her unaccompanied flight but how she could manage to keep away from the company of her phone, almost for 16 hours!
No need to say that she managed the return flight also equally with aplomb, and no doubt leaving a wake of friendship at Auckland – like a ship on the ocean. We received her at the airport, .En route home; she started narrating her ‘foreign experiences. I was mentally bracing myself for a more additional ISD calls here afterwards. My brother in law deftly averted tasting of the ‘forgettable feast’ I had prepared, suggesting a restaurant. I concurred readily, though it might not have altered his decision anyway. I had this feeling- – whether his talents rivaled mine? Not to leave any bad taste in the mouth, I kept my thoughts to myself
Home again, she earnestly started calling up her friends. The brief absence has increased the number of pending calls and I started worrying about the next telephone bill, which surely would be fighting for space in the flight corridors above Chennai – domestic or international. And how high will it be was the only question remaining in my mind at that point of time.
From phone to cellphone, flight to fright this write up has let the air bags vibrate...
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