Softcorner

 A pleasant surprise was in store for Muser as Bystander was planning to visit with him. Not aware of this unannounced intent of Bystander, Muser himself had planned to call upon him sometime later. For a long time both of them have not spoken to each other face to face. He recollected that it was an ugly spat over an amateurish representation by Mr. Tom, in a writers’ forum. Muser wanted to forget the incident but Bystander was incensed about it.

There was no ice breaking ceremony after the cold standoff. Both knew that their friendship is beyond being only in “speaking terms”. A hard hand shake and a wry smile was all that was needed to raise the white flag. They could easily get back to old ways by the time a cup of coffee could be finished.

Within minutes an animated discussion started covering mutual interest happenings and inevitably Bystander blurted out the question still haunting him. Why Muser let off Mr. Tom so easily?

Muser did not acknowledge hearing the question as his thoughts were elsewhere and faraway. Though he had debated it within himself – whether to explain it to Bystander or not. He decided to so now.

The problem with Mr. Tom was his slow reaction time. This you yourself know about, is it not? That made him speechless when so many questions were thrown at him, even though he had all the answers. By that time he could make up his mind, he lost his nerve at the thought of failing to deliver at the right time. So he left in a hurry and this made you become more than usually annoyed as you felt he has failed me. “So far are you in agreement with me?” asked Muser.

“Do you remember when we first met both had inhibitions, both were struggling to cogently speak out our thoughts? Do you still remember me telling you that in my formative days I used rehearse and then only speak or write, after making a mess of it? , without waiting for a reply, Muser started the next part of his reasoning.

“Was it not the same in your case too? Now tell me what do I do when I find a person placed in a similar piquant situation like we experienced once?” 

“I did the natural thing. I got over it with a little understanding for Tom’s predicament”, Muser finished in a conciliatory voice.

Bystander did not want to hear the unabridged version of the succinct explanation offered by Muser, verbatim.  If that had taken place this is what probably would have transpired:

“Flexibility in understanding and inflexibility to do so decides the outcome of any action we take. Such an action creates a reaction which gains our attention and disturbs our emotional state, notwithstanding the friendship in question”.

"If I had failed to keep inflexibility out of my reasoning, the understanding with which I viewed Tom’s failure would not have happened. OK?”

“In that case, both of us would be suffering with guilt for some time.  Now, because I could understand and said so to Tom, both of us got over it soon.”

“ In fact, Tom called on me yesterday with some lecture notes. If I had been harsh in my judgment, he wouldn't have come all the way to meet me. Probably this will make it easier for you to understand why I did what I did!”

Bystander understood the implied admonition regarding his continuing impulsive nature while judging people. Though, he was in no hurry to apply the brake on his inflexible attitude towards Tom,he quietly agreed with Muser’s views and simply said, “You have a very soft corner indeed”.