This house is in order

 Imaginch became pensive after the chance visit to an old age home. The deep emotional impact it left on him was unbearable and indescribable, forcing out his thoughts on engaging his friends-in-park in any light-hearted discussion. Even the news item on commissioning the world’s largest radio telescope failed to enthuse. Instead he was sore at science & technology for searching out signals from deep space ignoring meek pleas of an aging population left in old age homes.

A tall and shriveled Sr. Citizen sat by and gazed at him for a long time. To give company to this person a stocky bespectacled man joined the group. To Imaginch this person appeared a little withdrawn but willing to take part in any discussion that might take place. Yet, the attention grabber was a lithe, fair complexioned person who did not try to hide his presence – with or without the clutch of Newspapers & magazines he held.

Imaginch started to feel the heaviness of uneasiness that hung in the air and the lone ceiling fan could not do much about it, though it added its own verbal encouragement. Imaginch wondered whether the creaking noise was in support of the atmosphere or to the persons! The timely arrival of a snacks tray helped everyone to relax.

Sensing Imaginch’s curiosity and hesitation to ask them about the circumstances that brought them together at that old age home, the tall man started saying, “ Not everyone in a family will be in sync with everything at all times. This is true for a reason: We are all genetically engineered products and naturally have to conform to different kind of fits and tolerances. The only handle the human beings have is the ‘power of thinking’ which sometimes likes to enjoy a back seat driving. I decided at an appropriate point to be at peace with myself and be happy about it”. Imaginch tried to detect that happiness in that face and found not even a trace of it. He silently saluted that hardened, living heart.

It was now the turn of the stout man and he spoke out highlighting, “The differentiation between an individual and a family is this: discrete thinking and global thinking. Beliefs and reactions among the members give birth to an emotional state and in this state actions, reactions and attitudes that are questioned disturb harmony. This was the last straw as far as my capacity could endure and opted out of the vicious circle to stay in an old age home where these problems do not arise”.

Weighing each word and thought, the erudite personality held attention of the group and went on to hang many pictures on the wall of life around a Sr. Citizen – “In a dynamic family sanity and reason should find a place, along with a strong will to desist from brewing a storm for narrow emotional gains. In a stressed emotional state, there will be no time to think about larger than our ‘personal’ issues. A bit of understanding and tolerance with a cool off interval will be a perfect Ying and Yang balance. For every spirited defence there would certainly be a ghost.

Probably this will make it easier to understand why we should not do what we continue to do! If the members of a family manage to keep personal things strictly personal and larger interests separate, disharmony will not find the voice to disrupt”.

“It may not always be possible to be broadminded, in these days of stressful living. But the benefit of it is it allows one to put up with any temporary transgression. When the rising annoyance is felt, accepted and relegated or when repeated transgressions are left un-minded then a sense of moderated tolerance is maintained. If annoyance is allowed to grow out of bounds minor transgressions become real monsters.

“Being narrow-minded does not help anyone to ‘live-among’ but to ‘live-aloof’- within one’s own rigid boundaries. When such boundaries have been drawn, the constant look-out is only for trespassers, and it becomes a significant burden on the other members of a family.

“Water is an elixir of life and it has a philosophical lesson or two - filling a bottle, by straight away immersing it in water, is slow. The water refuses to fill in a hurry. Instead it patiently waits for the air, already occupying the space, to make way. In a physical sense they have worked out a rate and space compromise - water occupies the space as the air vacates from it. Here the patience and understanding of the physical world has resulted in harmonious adjustment. If this is managed by inanimate things such as water and air, why not the ones with the ‘power of thinking’!

“Instead, if the same bottle had been immersed neck down, the air residing inside the bottle resists entry of water and at the same time water will be trying to force its way in – a standoff! What happened to patience, understanding of the physical world and the harmonious adjustment shown earlier? Why the same inanimate things failed here?

“The attributes - patience, understanding and harmony did not change only the attitude of the “handler” changed.  Harmonious adjustment tolerated each others existence whereas the stand-off tried to assert an individual’s importance.The family is a fabric fresh from the mill. Parting it to suit different needs or repeatedly attempting to dye it with colours as per any whim and fancy only makes the fabric lose its intrinsic strength and sheen”.

After listening to all these points, without laying any blame on any of their individual family members, Imaginch felt nothing but admiration and deep respect for the inmates.  More than anything else the philosophy the inmates had formulated to carry on with life, everyday, made him to feel subdued.

He decided to pass on this wisdom from the old age home inmates to his friends-in-the park: “Try filling the water bottle, with patience and understanding. Harmonious adjustment is a better state - to be in”!