Unwinding the...

At times, surprise comes calling without an announcement. I know you are ready to throw the semantics at me. But be patient and let this be explained. The surprise is a friend from childhood and who till now remained incognito. Rest assured, I mean to definitely ask him, "What he had been up to all these years? The usual catching up with bygone years, and discussing past and current happenings in our families, went on and on for some time. Hunger and thirst took the backseat to give us the space and time to chat. 

When the shadows started their journey toward the east, we realised ,that we no longer had control over the hunger pangs. At this point, my friend turned around and asked, " where are the family members?" and said with a little embarrassment, "I feel bad in not noticing their absence, as soon as I entered the house". He was relieved to know that all are attending a function in the city and will be back only by nightfall.

We sat down for the prepared lunch, taking care to eat as little as possible, so that the other person will have his fill. In this process both of us went partially hungry. A small inconvenience, we willingly put up with for the joy of being together.

Then we did a tour of the house, taking longer than necessary, though it was of medium size. Finally, we ended up in my study room. Bookcase arranged with tomes, on diverse subjects, greeted the friend. He would have been surprised if a bookworm like me had not stocked enough reading material. Always he had this grouse - "You have stored more words in your mind, than what you could possibly use in your lifetime". His interest perked up considerably, when he noticed the these out of place objects, neatly arranged! Short pieces of wood, of irregular shape, and resting on a stack of sand emery papers. A collection of hacksaw blades, knives and a broken grinding wheel, and a mini translucent bottle-sprayer. An iron box in the company of overflowing laundry bag completed the odd collection in the study room.

Following his line of sight, I explained about them as tools of my trade. The friend was taken aback, as he had been under the impression, that I had long since retired, and wondered what could be the "trade" that I have been practicing!

He asked, " Friend, tell me how these tools help?" It took me sometime, to formulate a reply and it ran like this: Family members do not conform to fixed parameters, on account of extraneous factors on any given day, though they might be making conscious efforts, to smoothen frayed nerves. When elders, youngsters and children live under one roof, then you have the perfect recipe for constant breakdown of harmony. In such a situation, a retired person becomes an easy target - for odd jobs, for blames, for frolic & fun, for the weather and what not?

For a few minutes, the guest remained silent, thinking about how to go about my predilection. He knew of me as a person of high sensitivity. He might be doubting, with concern, whether I have   become paranoid too? A very delicate matter indeed for him to casually deal with. I keenly watched his discomfort, with mild curiosity. It was far from my mind, to make him to suffer with anxious concern. Memories, from the past, surging back in my mind - recollected the times when he had exhibited this very same trait! 

A brief smile appeared on my face. A caring friend! I decided to lift the veil of suspense, regarding the tools of trade. My friend, if you are wondering, without expressing it verbally - have I gone off my moorings, the answer is a negative. Then "why" is the question that remains to be answered and you will get it sooner than later.

You will be shocked or surprised or perplexed because the reason is a secret but for you, I will reveal it - I learned a technique during my professional life, working in a high-stress environment. This practical technique was developed by like-minded colleagues. We called our technique "Unwinding" and the protocol is to choose a way, to work away the accumulating anger, at the end of the day, each day. After a few weeks of trial, we got the hang of working with this technique and became a bunch of clowns - laughing at anything that triggered anger. 

I explained while working away the bottled irritation or anger, there is a silent method or a sound method. No doubt my friend became confused once again. He was relieved when I told him that ironing is the silent method, useful when all are present in the house.  Working with wood is the sound method, which I use when alone in the house. Some days it is wood-work and on some other occasions, I run the in-house laundromat. Doing carpentry, I release my anger.

During washing and ironing, I silently convey to the family members that their outbursts are not taken to my heart. It is me who has allowed them to vent out their frustration. In turn, by following this protocol, I act as the sink to disperse the deposited anger. 

Standing near an open cupboard, I signaled my friend to come over. The hand-crafted wood works stood in display, as mute witnesses to the amount of frustration I have helped to disperse. By now, he must have understood why I keep these tools and finished objects in my study. Still, I asked him, "Now, do you believe in my trade - Unwinding?"

He was about to ask, but before words could come out, I explained - how it benefits me. I simply carry on with my hobby, without any hassle! At the same time, I could help us all to maintain a peaceful atmosphere in the house.

Amazed, my friend cast his eyes in admiration all over the study room, including me in its sweep. At the end of the day, my friend took leave, probably wondering how it is possible for me, to be consistently different, to this day! May be, he relied upon his old memories to silently make this observation.