Brahma, Kuber and the ghosts: 325

Brahma opened his eyes, after a deep meditation, to a pleasant surprise.  None other than Kuber, the treasurer of Dev Lok bank was standing in front of him. The visit was first of a rare kind as both had dealt with each other long eons back. Moreover, Brahma had no wealth deposited or has any intention to do so. He looked at Kuber for an explanation. Kuber, feeling the weight of silence, felt disconcerted at the reception, hesitated a little but had on other option but to speak out.

Brahma, wanting to fill the boredom filled routine, missing Chitragupta’s antics and Yamadharmaraj bearing the brunt of them, decided to make the first overture. He asked, “Kuber, to what do I owe your presence?” Taken aback by the indeterminable sarcasm or satire, Kuber spoke, “I have detected some dubious accounts in the ledger.”

Brahma: “Surely, you have assistance to find out and rectify the mistake. Why come to me?”

“Oh, Brahma, the issue is not simple that my assistants could easily rectify.”

Brahma: “Agreed. In what way can I help you and what is the real issue?”

“The real issue pertains to a few current accounts that have been clandestinely opened and being operated.”

Brahma: “The best approach should have been to call them to get those accounts surrendered. Why did not you try that?”

“That is the catch. The account holders are not residing in Dev Lok. If that would have been the case, I wouldn’t have come here. Yes, there is one more catch to that catch.”

Brahma getting annoyed asked Kuber, “What is that catch having a catch. You and your assistants have gone comatose or what?

“Oh Brahma, let me explain. As per Dev Lok banking rules, an account once opened cannot be closed by me. This is the catch to that earlier catch I mentioned. The disputed current account holders are non-residents in Dev Lok. This catch is an addendum to the earlier ones”

Lackadaisical, indolent and languid. Having exhausted a set of adjectives Brahma asked, “Pray and tell me, where do they reside and who are they?” Kuber blurted out, “Brahma, these current accounts have been opened by the spirits and souls of Yam Lok. That is the irony!”

“How did you find out these accounts are operated by ghosts?”

“Recall the bank’s motto- Trust in secrecy. No where the account holder’s name gets displayed”

“Then, how these spurious accounts were detected?”

“In place of account holder’s name, a solid bar of green or blue colour indicates the residential status. These spurious accounts carry black bars.”

Brahma’s heads started to spin so fast, and Kuber felt a draft of breeze playing truant with his curly hair. Enjoying the breeze himself, Brahma took his own time to order the heads to come to a stop telling them he had to do some serious thinking. The spinning heads came to a stop and then Brahma spoke, “What help do you want?”

Kuber: If Chitragupta could sit with Yamadharmaraj, the issue could be quietly resolved without adverse publicity. This is the reason I came to you for advice and help.”

Brahma scratched one of his heads and said, “Their current where abouts is not known. They have efficiently ‘ghosted’ their thought-prints and are keeping their communication channels in jammers. By looking at their transactions, could you tell me where Chitragupta and Yamadharmaraj are currently?”

“Brahma, I am sorry. Trust and secrecy prevent disclosures to second or third party”

Irritated Brahma asked, “You mean like your history of being a mortal and half-brother of Ravan, getting defeated by him, my boon to Ravan that drove you away from your kingdom or my boon that elevated you  to divinity ??”

“Brahma, mine is an open secret and the accounts are closed secrets.”

Brahma: “Maybe, your issue with the ghost accounts could be resolved by my ‘fghosts’. Let me think for a while.”

Kuber felt like getting squeezed between ghost accounts and fghosts. Brahma came back with his suggestions. “I will depute three fghosts with clear instructions that no matter what, the trust and secrecy must not be sacrificed while resolving the issue.”

Getting the attention and help of Brahma lifted the burden of ghost accounts off his shoulders. Taking leave, Kuber returned to his abode. Then only he remembered that neither he had asked for details about Brahma’s ghosts. He did not like the going back to earn Bramha’s ire.

The handpicked fghosts arrived and Kuber wasted no time in briefing them on the issue of the current accounts held by ghosts. He further explained, as per bank’s secrecy laws their identity is not known and even if known cannot be revealed. Furthermore, his hands are tied as he could neither terminate the accounts nor stop transactions. After hearing out, one of the fghosts said, “This looks like describing a point in space where everything is there, but nothing could be there in reality!”

Kuber was expecting a solution, not a puzzle. To bring the focus back on the issue, he said, “Do you have any workable plan within the outlined ethics of this Bank@ Dev Lok?” The friendly ghost promised to come back with such a plan shortly but wanted to get acquainted with the procedures being followed. Kuber handed over a bulky volume with a confusing title, “Asks and do not asks”.

The fghosts requested permission to open their own accounts. Kubera was aghast at this request and began an internal battle with ethics of banking. Relenting to Kuber’s predicament, the fghosts suggested an alternative. They asked permission to leave some sub-nano devices in the bank after explaining that these sub-nano things will only detect and monitor the transaction patterns and are not intelligent enough to decipher personal details. Kuber worried about opening the bank ledgers for scrutiny was reluctance to act upon their request. Can he trust them? The answer came back loud and clear- How can he doubt Brahma’s confidants? 

Thinking that ‘not knowing is also a way to maintain secrecy, he did not ask them how these devices will work. He accepted the sub-nanos (without knowing what it meant) under a special account designated with ‘no deposit or withdrawal’ sticker. When the sub-nanos were delivered, Kuber was surprised to see they were almost invisible, unless seen under special lights. Expecting relief, he sighed in advance and completed the formalities without involving other members in the bank. He was proud to ensure that the veil of secrecy remains protected, to all the accountholders. 

The fghosts briefed Brahma and Kuber, on what their sub-nano devices have managed to gather. “A transaction is initiated in one of the accounts and it proceeds to deposit that in three other accounts. End of activity. A while after, two of the recipients dumped it back into the originating account. End of activity. The third recipient transacted with the first account and almost, keeping a minimum balance.  Now, a curious thing happens. All of them transact with each other and end up with the same balance in all accounts. As for as the operatives are concerned, the doubt in our mind is that all the accounts are held by a single ghost”. The fghosts looked at Kuber and Kuber looked at Brahma. 

Brahma asked Kuber, “Can you authorise the next step of deactivating that accounts? Of course you cannot close them, is there not another solution? Nodding his head Kuber said, “Not to my knowledge, but if these fghosts come up with an action plan...” 

The fghosts could not say no to crack a tough nut. They said, “Yes. Give us some space to think about it and come back.” Brahma was all smiles with the thought that he only chose these worthy candidates. Indicating the end of meeting, he hurried out leaving Kuber in an awkward silence with the fghosts, casting a gentle smile in their direction and left. 

The three fghosts settled down for a lengthy discussion on the possible options they could use, to deactivate the accounts. Ideas and counter ideas floated above their floating forms. Some of the passing by Dev Lok residents paused to enjoy this spectacle. Unaware of this attracted audience, the fghosts generated some more ideas, literally crowding the space above their floating forms. One idea bore the hallmark of a gem. Simple but could be turned effective for the purpose at hand. It involved two-pronged operation strategy and a super intelligent sub-nano device. Without waiting, they called on Kuber and briefed about their proposal. 

At this stage, without the blessings of Brahma, Kuber did not want to greenlight it straight away. As a result, once again Brahma got drawn in to this affair of current accounts of ghosts as an adjudicator or conscience keeper or receiver of blames, if the whole plan backfired. Confident of managing all the three objectives, he agreed to hear them out and offer his opinion at the end. 

The first fghost explained, “We will load a software in the brain of the super sub-nano device”. The second fghost added, “This device, once a transaction is initiated, will get triggered”. The third fghost on the final expected outcome explained, “During multiple transactions using these account holders’ trusted   modus operandi, successive, automatic artificial devaluation of the transacted value occurs. Soon the current accounts will become dead accounts with nil balance. Once the zero balance is reached, automatically these accounts are closed as per the “Asks and do not asks” document of the bank.”

Kuber: Will they not get status alert after each transaction? 

Fghosts: We have modified that status display to occur milliseconds before the accounts are being closed.

Brahma: I am pleased with your work but what about ghosts making attempts in future?

An account can be opened only if the coordinates of the originator match with that of Dev Lok! We believe generally ghosts don’t get free entry into Dev Lok! 

Both Brahma and Kuber sat speechless. The ingenuity and audacity of the plan left them searching for words to point out hidden lacunae or poke holes. Kuber got the solution and Brahma had the satisfaction of aiding the process. He graced the three fghosts with a million-sun bright smile, lighting up the whole Dev Lok!