Mosquitoes don't fly high & other episodes

When Imaginch came back after visiting his daughter, the family members were all eager to know about the trip. He liked to dramatise simple happenings and assumed the role of an inspired story teller, to test their staying power with his narration. His wife, son and the second daughter put up with his theatrical performance partly to admire his imaginative presentation and for another important reason. They had their own set of reservations about this daughter in question – she had a mind of her own and never refrained from an argument worrying about the fall outs. They had even stopped calling her by childhood nicknames and advised close relatives to do the same.  Such was her character and what made them wonder was how her husband and in-laws were standing up to her!

This indirectly gave Imaginch a handle on the family member’s patience to go about narrating events of interest in his own sweet pace. He was actually taking a revenge of sorts on them, for not paying due attention to whatever he had to say, during any other time. During the return journey he had  ample  time to plan this narration which helped him to avoid the boredom of a long journey.

Torn apart:

On the first day, we went out for the dinner reluctantly. I, my son-in-law and his parents did not like the idea of travel and wait at a crowded restaurant. I sensed an air of discomfort blowing among them but had no clue to the possible reason. The daughter sat at the wheel thus forcing us to get in to the car silently. Not being familiar with the geography I could not understand why my son-in-law was huffing and puffing at periodic intervals. To make the matter worse, a sudden down pour decided to greet us at the steps of the overcrowded restaurant – some had come to eat and many had come in to take shelter. The feared long wait and my distaste for such kind of food made me to make a tongue-out of-cheek comment “I cook better than this junk of a meal”.

As I had made this statement in a tone that left the listeners confused - whether to take it as a joke or a sarcastic comment, but it must have hurt my daughter's sensibilities deeply. This only served to remind her ‘how my culinary offerings had offended her taste buds and the frank manner in which she used to criticise my skills’. She said in matter of fact voice, “Events have a funny way of catching up with debris standing in the way of a maelstrom. The debris gets a free ride and relocation, without its consent but after a battering. Debris feels nothing and has no voice to protest. A sympathetic mind only can empathise with it but gives no solace to the debris. The dumb debris lies in wait for another maelstrom! In comparison the debris is better than the waves in the ocean; it is perennial battering for the waves and once in a while rough treatment for the debris”.

The dinner tasted acerbic even after drinking a liter of mineral water. In one go she had me turning in circles and wondering what bug has bitten her! The others had no clue what so ever!

Needle of suspicion:

On the second day, the maid servant, who usually came at 7 AM, did not turn up for work without prior intimation. The annoyance showed in the way my daughter was moving about in the kitchen. We had breakfast in stony silence. My son-in-law found out an excuse to go out of sight leaving the elders to choose our own escape routes! His father decided to go and buy some vegetables which were not immediately required. I did not know what to do and her mother-in-law started sorting out laundry clothes. The maid showed up around 10 A.M. She neither asked for the reason nor offered the customary snacks and tea to the maid. The maid understood the situation and hurriedly finished the works to be off from the scene as early as possible. All of us were wondering why such a fuss about a maid coming late for work.

Around noon, some animated conversation started doing its round. I was reading news papers and did not pay much attention to their family discussion. Taking turns, the four of them were making points and counterpoints on some serious matter. A while later, my daughter came out saying, “Suspicion is an interpretation of one’s lack of trust. The thinking that ‘I knew it all along ' or ‘you failed to notice it' might sound strange and fails to avoid arguments, unpleasantness and hurt”.

Later I came to know this sermon was in defense of the servant maid’s honesty and the cause was a missing wallet. Even if I had been a party to the discussions, I would not have pointed my needle of suspicion at the maid. I had enough reasons to be wary. Getting and retaining a dependable domestic help has been bothering her now and then! Once, when I complained about the services being rendered, she challenged me to find a better person. She had said, “The maid is honest and that is it”.

The next day, the wallet was found intact with the vegetable vendor, where her forgetful father-in-law had left it!

Mosquitoes don’t fly high:

On the third day, we attended a birthday function in the apartment building. The gift bearing friends trooped in one by one at the scheduled time. In spite of hectic activity, the Madam of the house was on hand, at the door, to receive the guests with a smile and close the door soon after. This act was a little perplexing to all of us and the Master of the house, in an undertone asked her, “why”? The Madam scaling octaves said “I have not invited these mosquitoes for the party”. The snide remark must have hurt many in the gathering and the hubbub became a whisper.

When situation demanded something, it did not bother my daughter to be forthright. “The fact that you are in 7th floor should mean something to the starved mosquitoes; they are not eagles to soar in the air, fly high and land on your shoulders. Try fumigating the lift instead of shutting the door after the guests”.  The stunned silence and uneasy calm that hung in the air must have made the party a memorable one, at least for the uninvited mosquitoes who have piggybacked in to the flat with guests. None of us wanted to question her whether the mosquitoes can fly high or not of fumigation would be effective.

Mark of respect:

This happened on the fourth day of my stay. Just before dinner time, my son-in-law was showing me their family treasure - an album plus a collection of faded photo-prints kept separately in covers. His parents obviously enjoyed this routine as it rekindled their old memories. The non-stop chatter and my ‘disinterested’ interest in the proceedings must have made my daughter to fly off the handle. “Indifference is an emotional bankruptcy and in the absence of etiquette it squirts out at the wrong place”. None of us, especially me, could understand the reason for this one liner. Like flicking a speck of dirt, she directed at me a high voltage glare as if to drive home the point.

I looked at her with my annoying, confused smile which invited her to have a go at me. She said, “Try to fill a bottle, by straight away immersing it, the water resists getting into the bottle as long as it wants to. But can it refuse. During this struggle the water learns to respect and waits patiently at the mouth to give way for the entrapped air to escape. If such a harmonious adjustment could be managed by water and air why not we show respect!

Chastened by her mark of respect speech, I started to highlight the hidden features in all the photos on view. The alarming look in my son-in-law’s face only encouraged me to go on and on. After a decent interval he called for a break to safely put them away, till next time!

The gift horse:

The fifth day of my stay coincided with their weekly holidays. My daughter and son-in-law wanted to go on a pleasure trip and wanted me to accompany them. A satisfying bath in the water falls, leisurely stroll in a verdant park and visit to a hill for a panoramic view filled the days with pleasant experiences. On the way back, my son-in-law suddenly remembered a friend’s request for a gift article. The friend, it appeared had given detailed instructions for selecting the gift item. A mall offered the opportunity and we grabbed it.

Having had a bitter experience and exactly for the same reason, I said, “Buying a gift on behalf of another person, under specific instructions, can turn out to be an unforgettable experience. The set of instructions given does not come to your mind at that precise moment of purchase or you foolishly try to interpret those instructions according to the situation or presume that your choice will be agreeable to both the ‘giver’ and ‘receiver’. You find yourself in a super mess – made in a mall!”

Not to be left behind, my daughter spared some of her erudite thoughts, “If the story of Adam & Eve and the temptation for the forbidden fruit is familiar to you, with whom you will sympathise – Adam or Eve? More often than not will it not be Mr. Adam? If this is agreeable then by the same logic will you not be the sucker!

After hearing what we had said, my son-in-law dropped the idea of buying a gift article on behalf of someone who might look in to the mouth of a gifted horse.

After narrating these episodes, Imaginch reminisced: Sometimes an innocuous action of buying a gift article, suspecting an honest person, and going out for dinner, looking at family photographs or sharing space with mosquitoes in a birthday party could turn out to be an unforgettable experience.

Muser adjudicates - Point, silly point and run out

A point made in a conversation reveals the background of knowledge and experience. A counter point presents another view. An argument arises if the presenters on both sides stick to their respective point without looking at the merit in the other view.  When arguments become more vocal, points made in frustration look like silly points to defend one’s original point.  At this point in the argument even silly points extend a helping hand and the stranded argument runs out of steam to walk back in defeat.

On hearing this preamble, Tom and Bystander sat like puzzled stones. They were not able to get in to  thought process of Muser. In this perplexed state, another matter that worried them was ‘why the invitation from Muser'?, which always meant one more dose of indictment.

Muser asked Bystander, “Why you got irritated when Tom presented his views and were you not thinking it was easy to argue with a person unsure of his ability to counter another person"? Bystander had to keep quiet sensing the accuracy of the remarks, amounting to a verbal denouncement. Turning to Tom who was also becoming uncomfortable, Muser said “Have you not yet come out of the thrill of finding a reason to annoy Bystander, now and then. Did it not occur, to both of you,that squabbling like children had in no way added value to the art of babysitting"?

Bystander did not want to contradict Muser  but said, “If Tom knew of certain things, I knew a little more about them. I only used the same points raised by Tom to set things in right perspective which was all that happened”. “So, you thought you were better informed than the other and it did not strike you a little farfetched thinking”?  Muser did not fail to pint out the feeling of “know all” attitude of Bystander.

“Why did you provoke Bystander by asking whether he agreed with the points you made? I hope it was not done to get your friend’s appreciation! On hearing this comment from Muser, it was Tom’s turn to fall silent.  He did not spare Bystander and asked, “Why you rushed to take the bait and made a show of strength"?

Muser demanded to know, “How to pacify a crying child is for the parents to decide.  For that moment parents are the child specialists. Analysing and imputing non-existent meanings is definitely out of your purview. In the same manner only parents can decide about how the child develops physically and mentally. No doubt parents will welcome a known person keeping the child engaged and kindling its curiosity but can we take it beyond a point"?

“The quote from Newton was interesting and it applied only up to our times in the past. Now the children get to train with many audio-visual aids thoughtfully provided by parents and playschools.  In this context, the views expressed by both of you, for and against, have become redundant, yet it was good that both of you touched up on that skill development in a child - protégé or not. Who can deny the fact that watching a child on show is a pleasure"!

Tom and Bystander felt relieved to hear these down-to earth views of Muser and realised that in any vocation, enthusiasm is different from practicality. This feeling of relief was short lived as Muser started to question their standing as child Psychologists in talking about dos and donts for a babysitter.

Looking at both, he asked, “Will it not be equally right to say that the child is also the facilitator in the art of babysitting? Is it in good taste to look for only the negative approach in a babysitter for whom his/her ward is unique? How one can presume only prejudices, notions and traits of the babysitter will be imparted to the child"?

Continuing on the same theme, Muser said, “The well being of a child, discipline and preparing it to manage expectations and disappointments are really out of bounds of a babysitter. If the rapport between the babysitter and the child is excellent, then it is a plus point that is all. Consider pampering of a child as a two-way traffic; letting the ‘pamperer’ and the pampered feel happy!  In such a context excessive, moderate or meager are relative terms and reads like a weather bulletin"!

“No doubt, the child may not need the babysitter as a backseat driver later on, but this should not be an excuse to forgo the chance to take the child to get a driver’s license! Unless the parents have confidence, no one can become a babysitter. Probably they believe the bonding of the young and old also is important. I have a feeling that this gesture is a delayed reaction mechanism allowing the previous two generations in tallying their accounts of commissions and omissions, benefiting the third generation children. They only can encash an unsigned check using innocent smile as facsimile signature"!

When Muser finished, Tom and Bystander understood how they should have viewed the role of a babysitter. Tom cursed his eagerness and Bystander his ego in dealing with the matter. They started to appreciate the way in which Muser had made them feel sorry for the rivalry they had exhibited. They agreed with his intent and purpose: thunder and lightning cannot exist without the cloud and on trivial issues friends should not become strangers on the street.