Armchair Walking (expanded) – A Bystander prescription

    

      

Walking is an exercise, in necessity or to maintain physical well being. Those involved in this form of activity would have never imagined the hidden danger – physical harm. Yet somehow they manage to adjust to the realities and continue with their exercise.

Bystander knew Mr.Strider since childhood. This front row observation has resulted in characterizing the man and his walk. Mr Strider developed the habit of walking as a routine, almost five decades ago, and continues with it even today. 

In the initial days and up to his teens, it was to save a few paise to augment his pocket money. Really it was these paise coins which constituted his corpus fund as the practice of giving pocket money, for the day today needs, was not an in-thing, in those times. 

He employed a simple modus operandi, walk part of the distance to be travelled and then board a bus, such that his destination fell between one ticketing stage to another, to save 3 or 5 paise. Wait! In those days even the amount of 3 paise could get you something.

He once told Bystander that in this way, by skipping & stage hopping, he could save money for an occasional cinema or a visit to an eatery. While recounting these experiences, his face glowed, at the thought of having achieved an economical miracle, to enhance his purchasing power.

Obviously a micro-economist in the making!

He has done reasonably well – benefitting health and considerable, well earned money. He often used to say “a paisa saved is a paisa earned”

But Bystander did not fail to detect a small disturbance playing in the mind of Mr Strider. It took him nearly 3 days and 3 or 4 chance meetings in super markets, bank premises and courier offices. Strange - as it may appear, but possible in real life. A breeze of nostalgia did its best to uncork the emotions, between bosom friends trying to make up for those years spent on non-contact.

Bystander surmised that Mr.Strider was worried about something but was sure that it was not regarding wealth. Mr Strider did not attach too much importance on this count as he still maintained his frugal nature. Doesn’t habit die hard?

During the ensuing discussion, Bystander understood that for a compulsive walker like Mr. Strider, the roads are becoming dangerous by the day and may be, the fear for personal safety might be worrying him. 

It has been his experience too and after many narrow misses on the road, had spent sessions on thinking, to formulate a set of safety rules for such a compulsive or a compelled walker. 

Bystander, not in the habit of passing up an opportunity to share his wisdom, decided to proclaim his set of road safety rules, to a willing audience.

“You can wear a helmet with miner’s lamp and this will help you to safely walk during early mornings and after sunset. At least you can switch the head light on to warn mobikes, auto & tempo-walahs. They don’t come with lights blazing”. 

“Better fit turning indicators, on front & back of your shoulders. You can warn the riders & walkers that you intend to turn left or right! Many times, pedestrians themselves would get in to your path, blocking it or colliding with you!

“It would be nice to have a parking light and a red light, in a convenient location on your back. Better make your intention clear for whoever cares to notice and act. 

“Why to forgo the satisfaction of letting others know – you are in parking mood (will stay put for a brief period) or  will be parked ( remain there for a longer time). This will avoid you getting immobilised for a longer period, in a hospital bed!

“As an improvement to the turning indicators, hang a gadget, at chest or abdomen level, having LT, RT arrows and a straight arrow. You will look like a mobile signal post!

“Like cricketers, wear an arm and shim guard to avoid glancing hits from mobile riders, out on the roads to showcase their weaving skills.

“Forget not your feet – wear armoured shoes to avoid getting your toes crushed at zebra crossings by signal jumpers. You will encounter with them at any given signal and at any given time of the day!

Mr.Strider heard through all the suggestions – they appeared logical and at the same time highly impractical. Having known Bystander for long, Strider wondered within himself – has he ever given a practical solution!

Not wishing to hurt Bystander in any way, he politely said, “With all these gadgets on my person, I would either look like a robot or an astronaut.



Where is the pleasure in walking? Simply I can sit at home, is it not?

                               

This was not the last on the matter. Bystander had a ready final say – “Take to armchair walking, by all means. It is very safe!” 

Mr. Strider, after a contemplative silence, blurted out, “If I follow these suggestions, then me and my walk will become history”.

The moment he heard the word history, Bystander seized this opportunity to assuage Mr. Strider, of his philosophical hurt. He launched wholeheartedly into another one of his monologues – this time on his take on history.

"I have analysed the history of the origin of history and came to certain funny conclusions.

Accordingly, the earlier chroniclers (later day historians) attempted to record the happenings around them, under the title “This Story”. 

It was more or less the glorified daily diary -   some of us have the habit of writing. Both had only personal value.

“This Story” had no place for hero worship and the impact of the story had local limits.

Next time around, the chroniclers, not being comfortable with this free-lance tag, decided to choose the personal deeds of a popular figure, which can exert some influence on the people as well as his own livelihood. 

Thus began the cult of a local hero and hero worship. “This Story” became “his Story” probably the chroniclers felt the remuneration was not commensurate with the toil and simply dropped the letter ‘T’ from the title. 

This is the beginning of ‘paid news’. This nomenclature is often heard doing the rounds during elections, in our time.

In the next stage, by this time power centres have sprung up everywhere and, the desire leave a good record, of achievements, dawned in the minds of the powerful. 

Their eyes fell on the chroniclers to showcase them as shining examples of valour, chivalry, political acumen and kindness , excluding acts of cruelty of course! A beginning in the art of selective reporting or simply a weak version of censorship.

The chroniclers thus became professionals – in the pay of their respective masters. This kind of  briefs brought tremendous pressure on their conscience but the fear of  wrath and the lure of comfort applied a n equal but a lateral force. Their conscience caved in.

This lateral force was also felt by the words in the title “His Story”. They gave up the space separating them ,  and fused into a single word History !”.  A stress relief at the fault line.

As in the exploits of the extolled, someone had to suffer – yes, one “S” dropped dead!

Is it not said that ‘history is written by the victor, of the victor and for the victor’   

Nice cliché to end the musings, don’t you think ?"

The monologue on the story of history came to an end.

At the end, Mr. Strider had nothing to say, partly out of confusion and partly out of fear for Bystanders’ repertoire of monologues.