The wails of an Automobile

I have plenty of reasons to lament.You are always in a hurry starting late to arrive at the destination early. Wondering how I know this – by the pressure on the accelerator and the racing of TDI or DTI engine. So,if you have a little time, please switch off your sound system and lend me your ears.

My birth place, the automobile industry has come a long way since the contraptions like a horse drawn buggies passed as cars. The new age automakers vie with one another to come up with cars/SUVs that drink less and gobble up on kilometers. To me it looks like a medical condition of an anemic sportsperson bolting along the track.

   The surgeries and implants carried out are done without prior consultation or consent. Metal works gave way to light weight composite.  In this process I lost my soul and gained in ungainly look – some of us looking like aa cargo truck on smaller wheels and some others resembling a train compartment on rubber wheels.

As you people have not being considerate about my aesthetics & ergonomics, I am not unduly worried about your economic power. On this front you lose but I gain another owner through the secondary market, the pre-owned car segment. Surprised! I too can talk about segments and quarters, the business section of newspapers have educated me in this respect.

I forgot to remind you that there are faithful owners, who still care and drive around in earlier editions. I am really proud to witness a vintage car rally, a rare opportunity to breath in the whiff of petrol laden exhaust of my ancestors.

I only hope that the “junkyard” culture will take hold in this country and then further uses will be found for my body organs that are still capable of working, as efficiently before.

I have a few questions needing clarifications:

As built I am a saleable automobile. Why the maker needs a brand ambassador, to stand by my side and get paid for that effort?  

The kilometers per liter is always indicated with an asterisk, with an explanatory conditions apply caution, why?

My limited intelligence tells me that the asterisk might be to refer to the star brand ambassador. It is still grappling with the ‘conditions apply” – whether it means my health, the state of the road or the state of the person behind the wheel.

The last question if only the sound system gives you the pleasure to drive, why not attach wheels to that system and enjoy the ride?

No. It is not necessary to honk the horn to express your discomfort and displeasure. Please keep in mind that I am at your service till you take fancy on another model.

    Let us have a nice ride together, as long as it is possible.