Misunderstood husband

Muser was taken aback to see Mrs. Bystander waiting for him. What unsettled him was her appearance – reddened eyes and slightly swollen face. He wondered what misfortune might have befallen, making her to seek him out. What happened to Bystander? Not known to show his emotions so visibly, he managed a polite acknowledgement and invited her to have a seat.  He thought “refreshments and small talk can wait”. She had ample briefings from Bystander about Muser and so did not expect or wait for him to ask “what is the matter?”

She started, “It’s all my fault. For each and everything he does or thinks, I pick up an argument, without waiting for him to explain. Do you know why I don’t wait, because he never discusses the decisions he takes?” He deduced that she tends to be a little impatient in her eagerness to be aware of the happenings in the family. But how could he tell her that men have this tendency of not bringing everything to the dinner table discussion. He has heard outpourings, of questionnaires being thrust at him, from Bystander a number of times.

Muser sensed a small family tiff but did not rush to add or subtract anything from the statements she just made. Among friends things could be discussed threadbare in conciliatory terms or in plain heated exchanges. Dealing with hurt feelings of a friend’s wife, also known to him for a long time, never becomes easy only harder.

His mind raced to arrange plausible explanations for whatever form of complaints she was sure to make. In the same time space, she was also thinking how to present her view point in such a way that Muser could not easily find words to calm and convince her. In the end Muser thought “why not allow her to have the say and then start analysing the problem”.

“Do you know what your dear friend did last week? We met his relatives and there an old aunt started extolling his childhood exploits, the tons of love with which he was brought up etc. Not to be left behind, her son and daughter-in-law also joined the chorous with their own versions. For his part, your friend started to reel off anecdote after anecdote, regaling them to laughter. I simply sat through the whole affair, comparing your friend’s current avatar bereft of humour and not understanding any of our sufferings. I got worked up because none of these things he never narrated to me or the children”, she finished in an emotion soaked voice.

Truly a mine strewn arena has been carefully prepared by Mrs. Bystander for the standoff. Muser went through the options available to him and chose the one that will ease the situation. He said, “I know my friend holds you in esteem and had never missed the chance to tell this to others whenever an occasion came his way” Little did Muser anticipate the retort that followed. She said, “Who wants his conduct certification? What is the use when the same is not known to the recipient?

Muser, changing track, said, “You know that I know him from childhood days. He speaks less, thinks a lot of all of you. He means well but he does not say it”.

She did not buy that explanation given by Muser and questioned, “If he can tell you all these things then what prevented him from sharing all these things with the family? All along, we have been accommodative and is it too much to ask him to be the same, now?”

Muser could not face these spirited deliveries at a furious pace. He took fresh guard and decided to take them all at merit.

Looking at her, he began, “Again I will go back to our childhood days. He was a pampered kid among aunts, uncles and relatives. Even at times I envied him for this, in those days, of course. You may find fault with my friend again, If I say this, but please hear me out. He told me of this incidence and also explained the idea behind the way he allowed the people to talk about him in your presence. Do you know why?”

“How will I know unless he chose to tell me either before or afterwards? How do I know that you are not making up something to keep your friend in my good books?”

Though this comment hurt a little, Muser ignored it and continued, “All these years he has been living in guilt for not amply reciprocating their kindness. At this time when everyone has aged and left with only fond memories of yesteryear, he let the talk to center around him, occasionally joining them, only to see some smiles on their faces and an evening they will relive for some days”.

She looked a bit confused and continued, “Why did he not do the same with us, we also would have enjoyed the fun is it not?”

Muser decided to let it go as he wanted to drive home some other points. “He takes certain things for granted in receiving or reciprocating. But in his mind these thoughts get processed and stored. He believes exhibitionism is a makeup attempt and has said so many times to me. Just take it for granted as he means all the good things to all of you. This habit of closed chest attitude has developed in him over many years of struggle to lead a honourable life. Unless you care to know the history, you will naturally have these feelings”.

Sensing that his words are talking to her mind, Muser continued, “My friend is like the medicine in a capsule. It is easy to take it as it is. If you separate them, the medicine will taste bitter”.

Please permit me to ask a few questions: “Did anyone of you asked him to talk about his childhood memories?  Did not all of you take it for granted that it would have been just uninteresting? Getting no answers Muser remained silent.

She started to think whether it was right on her part to come to Muser or wrong on her part to have made an issue out of nothing. From her face Muser understood that some of the issues clouding her mind are slowly clearing. They sat in silence for some time focusing on Bystander.

An auto arrived at the entrance followed by voices over the fare dispute. Muser appeared visibly relaxed thinking now that Mrs Muser has come home, she will take care of Mrs Bystander. The promise of a hot coffee also cheered him a little.