ChintaMany's diary - page 2 (Fear is the lock)

 {...neither going up nor coming down. Frantically searching in his pockets, he found the notes he had made for this write up and dropped it like a bag of hot coal. He had reached the solid ground and labelled it as a miracle, in escaping unhurt and getting the political cobwebs cleared. "To dispose of the diary or to keep it." This is now, his newborn worry! - page 1, ChintaMany's diary}

The air drop experience left him in fear of a repeat performance and could instantly recall, verbatim, that last paragraph. He heard rustling of pages of his diary. With shaking hands, he opened it only to be scared on seeing the next worry in line- Fear. Determined to banish it from the page, he trudged along its labyrinths. 

The human mind is a master cinematographer. It projects a motion picture, calling upon shots of senses such as touch, smell, taste, visual and background sound (human and other genre) clues and fools us with it as memory. Probably this attribute enjoyed by human beings might have inspired modern day computing and communication techniques, at unimaginable (to the lay person) speeds, which is getting bettered continuously. Satisfied with this introduction, feeling a wave of fear-of-rejection, ChintaMany got ready to tackle this topic. 

As a means to help himself to outwit and beat his own demons. If it helps bolstering confidence in others, he was glad to be of help. Another round of satisfaction coursed through his mind for having selected the title -"Fear is the lock ", though it sounded a little off-road of the beaten path. Normal usage is as 'fear is the key.'

Riding a doubtful horse, anticipating a negative outcome saddled with "wise owl's hind sighted criticism" is the beginning. The first step to the domain of fear is self-doubt. This growing self-doubt seeds the universal trigger for anxiety and fear. The mind perceives them as a threat, real or imagined, depending on the individual. This defensive mechanism is activated by brain to prevent bodily harm. It manifests both in physical and biochemical reactions in the body and becomes a mind-over-body phenomenon. 

The second step is catalysed by phobias - visual (darkness or loss of visibility (height or flying), water (drowning, chocking) death and dying, averse to social interaction or reptiles, insects or other animals and any other thing we share in our living environment. Given the chance, the mind will invent and come up with as many phobias as one can imagine. 

There are at least one hundred and twenty-eight listed phobias. With little more painstaking effort, perhaps, the list will be enlarged by the worrying mind. If any one of these listed phobias results in a traumatic experience, the brain stores and learns from the experience to change that phobia into a fear. ChintaMany paused here with a doubt-" Is it certain that a phobia causing a trauma will turn into a fear?"

The third step towards a full-blown fear with the help of phobias, is engineered by including the following types of symptoms-social anxiety disorder, PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) and panic disorder. Fear is one of human emotions. With all hands-on deck. The mind categorises , orchestrates and expresses it in stages or in varying degrees of intensity. Trepidation, nervousness, anxiety, dread, desperation, panic, horror and terror are some of the important tools of trade. When fear grips an individual, symptoms such as chest pain, chill, dry mouth, nausea, rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, sweating, trembling or upset stomach are out as troublemakers. 

A fear strike commands the sweat glands, via neural network, to go on an over drive to exude specific chemical markers. You can't hide fear as sensitive olfactory nerves can smell it. Again, ChintaMany hit the pause button, to verify whether it is a fact or fiction churned out by his brain. Waiting on the sidelines, his hindsight came online and said, " At the rate you are going, I may soon need an oxygen mask!" ChintaMany felt embarrassed and called it a day for the session. He too needed a breathing space.  

How to overcome fear?

ChintaMany wrote this heading, with a nervous tic in the corners of his mouth. A self-doubt too rose its ugly face with a question, " Can you do it?" The question appeared vague as it could mean 'he can't overcome fear' or ' he can't finish the task'. A dash of confusion got into this dilemma, as the ever ready hindsight remained ominously silent.

 Skirmishes win battles and battles win wars.  He decided to tackle the mind first on this mind-over-body game. A warning to the mind, of the gentler variety, so as not to enrage it, that its rights and freedom to imagine will be curtailed or revoked. Co-operate voluntarily, reduce interference or face deportation. All these tasks need some doing. Imagine a lean cat and an overgrown mouse. They are natural enemies. The rat, relying on its size, tries to intimidate the cat. The cat, overcoming its fear due its size, bares its teeth in a snarl or growl. Visualise what happens now! Size notwithstanding, the rat does some serious calculations, backs off with its tail securely tucked between the legs.

Fear is like a cage, outwardly presenting the look of a safety locker. A convenient place to hide from raising anxiety. Initially getting in and out through the widely spaced bars, is easy. This coupled with the feeling of subsiding anxiety. Hoping for a little more relief from fear of being anxious, repeated visits into the cage becomes a routine. After every cycle, few more bars are getting added and gaps getting closer. Finally, the over working imagination takes over, turns the bars into a closely knit woven net and fear gets stuck inside. In turn, fear effectively imprisons the person. 

 How to come out of the cage?

ChintaMany felt tired after trying to speak to the mind and decided to have a break. The niggle in his narration left him wondering whether mind and body act together or separately. To face and defeat fear, the cage built by the mind has to be dismantled. This much became clear to him and then ChintaMany went for the punch line to exhort - Efforts beyond the capability or inner strength and strong conviction is the key. Use the key and free fear from the mind. 

A long journey starts with a small shuffle forward. ChintaMany literally jumped out of his skin when he looked at this gem of a sentence. Now all that he has to do is give it a purpose. He had talent, to weave a small thread into a piece of cloth, though none acknowledged it. He took this in his stride -if acknowledgement is due, it gets delivered.

A meet with someone expressing the same symptom, finds the natural harbour and lets the anchor drop.  Conversation will be on symptom. This helps to air feelings but harms both, by reinforcing the malaise. A meet with someone expressing different symptom, then both end up with an additional syndrome to worry about.  This is like cross pollination and exchanged phobia blooms in both the minds. Getting to work, the mind works out a comparative statement- pictures a mole hill as a mountain for self and vice versa for the other.

How to personalise the fight?

ChintaMany felt hot blooded enthusiasm over speeding through the veins. With courage sufficiently warmed up, he decided to get into the ring.

Face the fear, anxiety, phobia or whatever else that is bothering, there is only one way to deal with it. Imagine standing in front of a lift gone out of order and need to reach the seventh floor. Time is of essence. What is to be done? Climb up, Step by step, to the seventh floor. Treat fear, anxiety, phobia or whatever and face them step by step.

All these resident phobias in the mind, if properly engaged with on a one-to-one conversation will get convinced. Personal experience is unique, and the recipient will decide on how the se residents should behave.

Coming to well-wishers and sailors on similar boats, a mixture of caution. Consideration will ensure a balanced approach. Many would happily come forward with suggestions, without realising the hidden troubles they bring. Those who give suggestions, should not fail to foresee its effects on implementation.  Fear has a positive side after all, it brings out the true courage who fight and subdue it!

After coming out with such a write up, ChintaMany felt his hindsight shouting at his ears - " If only you had taken all these steps...?"

ChintaMany got the point, left unsaid. He penned an emotional appeal asking for someone to come forward and help him to get rid of his fear?