The art of being a grandfather:

ChintaMany decided to honour the grandfathers, who have dedicated themselves in the service of their grandchildren. He had them classified as active, vacillating and undecided, but deserving a place in the life of grandchildren.

When the age meets the 50-mark on the life-timescale, the prospect of becoming a grandfather rises in the horizon. The initial teething troubles, plenty in store, sort of prepares the person to be a graceful a grandparent. Hitherto, this word implied 'you are ageing' and was vehemently disputed. This radically changes when a grandchild is born in the house. He does not mind hinted references to that tag when he had objected to be introduced to other kids.

When this happens at the age of retirement, the joy and responsibilities raise exponentially. Joy in being with the grandchild whenever one desires or when one is called over for any contingency. The grandfather is ever ready with packed bags. Only purchasing few dresses, toys or things prescribed by grandma (if she is with another grandchild) need to be completed.  The responsibility part (changing nappy, singing lullabies, staging some entertaining acts for child to stop crying etc) might be taxing for the novice. Those who, as an youngster, have clocked experience in taking care of siblings, excel in baby care A - Z. An envious achievement in the eyes of freshers promoted as grandfathers.

To be a genuine grandfather, only on the job training is the solution. Sickness and periodic inoculation related issues is a fertile ground to gather grains of experience. This is made doubly taxing when bombarded with neighbourly wisdom on how to handle the situation. All the time a compromise is worked out the baby might spend weak energy in crying and simply take the next best route- sleep.  

There is one qualifying criterion - should be willing to be the go-to-handyman for the baby's mother! She might be tired or busy with house management. A typical workload could be, in case of a preterm baby, operator of a sterilisation appliance, be an assistant environment controller, a laundromat for sterilised and dried napkins, tie- up apparels and so on.

The operator job will be a little strenuous - spare feeding bottles, stainless steel tumblers, spoons, and another item added to the list, are to be ready for instant use. Bottles have to be lined up like soldiers in battle dress. You don't know when the baby will sound the alarm of hunger or after wetting the napkin.  

Another responsibility, not explicitly given but assumed to have been given, is to maintain a mental stock register and raise timely reminders on low stocks - baby food and medicines. A job to keep you on your toes! Why did grandfathers rush headlong into these hectic activities, of a baby-sitter, when the option was open to be a bystander?

There are two reasons that could answer this. One - the bond of blood between the baby and the grandfather is stronger than the pull exerted by the tendency to stand aloof. The nature of the bond is such, a toothless baby grin will sweep away all the interferences coming in the way of bonding. The overwhelming majority will do it for sheer joy of getting upgraded to the status of a grandfather.

Two - Human life often falls prey to comparison. Maybe, a few grandfathers are driven by the urge to be better by comparison, of course! Comparison, if taken as a pointer to deficiency, the corrective action is to become a baby-sitter. So, the decision on either scenario ends in the same result - be a true grandfather after becoming a grandfather. The time comes for outdoor forays. The child is yet to start uttering words. The grandfather had to engage the child's attention and teach at the same time. The child sitting on the folded arm of the grandfather, a bony saddle, the tutoring continues.

The grandfather imagining the child as Isaac Newton (who famously stated that he stood on the shoulders of giants to see the world or something to that effect), starts to point out and identifies with names for - two, three, four and multi-wheelers, cows, dogs, cats, squirrels, plants, flowers, fruits, birds, jet planes, clouds, moon and stars. The exclusive Science and vocabulary building courses are conducted simultaneously during convenient day or evening times.

Little did he realises at that time the cats and dogs introduced to the child will bark and meow at him, years later when at the school going age the grandchild might bring home a stray pup or kitten in the school bag -  a fait accompli! At that time, the mother would not waste any time to withdraw all the previous citations and replace them with a tongue lashing.

The mother (daughter or daughter-in-law) is happy and proudly makes special mentions, about the care given by the grandfather. A typical grandfather’s heart might swell with pride, if the oral mentions are made in his presence. He might wonder whether this is a tactics employed to get some free time from baby care!  Yet, he feels upset because these citations are read out to friends, on long distance calls, and they might not have seen this grandfather even once, in action.

By this time the child is upgraded to solid food. The child now has to migrate to a different technique - from effortless drinking to ingesting of solids. The child goes on a hunger strike (few minutes variety) and the grandfather is called upon, to try his magic (shoving the job on to willing hands to test the bond strength!)

The grandfather relies on a simple technique - go outdoors, feed a dog or a cat (pretend only) and do mimicry to produce peculiar sounds (ignoring the stares of onlookers) make the child laugh and expertly feed a spoonful in to the opened mouth, with surgical precision. The child in confusion swallows, looks at him and flashes a smirk (which the grandfather mistakes it for a thank you smile).

A Grandfather who does not insulate well against the effect of the blood-bond showing signs of weakening, suffers emotional trauma. New school friends, play mates and interests getting aligned with other goals are the catalysts that gnaw at and weaken the bond. The crafty(experienced) grandfather, who anticipates what to expect, does a politician’s   act - gradually distances himself from the party!

Grandfather grabs the chance to pamper the grandchild, partly to correct past missed opportunities, while bringing up his children, and partly thinking that up bringing of the grand child is now its parent's responsibility.

If the grandfather fails to realise that one day this act of pampering will become a trump card in the hands of the child, to play it whenever needed. The grandfather will be forced to stand mute, in front of the accusing gunsight of one of the exasperated parents, without a Kevlar vest!

During the course, of giving childcare, the grandfather might get assessed in one of the following ways: The mother (daughter or daughter-in-law, it will be the same) might assume that she is entitled to call in this service provider.  Or she might come out with criticisms, on quality of service extended. Or she might opt to stay neutral, to keep the grandparent guessing.

Many old hands, in grandparenting, might have come across this sort of stand offs over and again and in different formats. Each grandfather has faced or faces a different kind, as no team of grandchildren is comparable to another and also the same for the generation of grandfathers.

This being the case, instead of making a broad-brush stroke on the canvas, better counsel shall prevail to use only a pencil to draw the pictures. Some of those pencil sketches of grandfather-grandchildren might look like this, on the canvas: 

A difficult exercise in mathematics and the grandfather hits a roadblock. Throwing in the towel, he blurts out- "What shall we do now?"

The grandson, patiently waiting for a chance boldly declares- "Let us try and change the tutor!" 

Another day, it was the turn of the granddaughter. The grandfather was taking her along for a shopping trip. He asks, “why should don’t we do this way? He meant by walk. The granddaughter, remembering the round abouts and cul de sacs they had surveyed the last time, wasted no time and asked, "Do you have a good road map in your head or at least a Google map?” 

"Why don’t we attempt this once again?" Asked the grandfather, wanting to somehow help in finishing a project work.

The grand kid busily ran a hand through a mat of hairs and pulled some faces. Then the kid asked, "Grandpa, are you trying to be a Robert Bruce, again!" 

This clincher came out of a physics lesson.  It was a three-body problem being solved. And it literally turned out to be a three buddies’ problem! The grandfather finds ghosts of confusion walking all over the grandkids' faces. Exasperated, he boiled over, "The explanations I have been giving, appear to have flown over your heads!" He did not expect this strong come back. 

The grandson and granddaughter (twins by the way) tartly replied, "Let us check on the floor. What goes up should have come down somewhere here! Continuing, they added, "Is this not what gravity does to a mass?" The grandfather had to be satisfied, that at least they have understood what gravity does to a mass. 

Sometimes role reversal occurs, to even the scores. The grandkids target the grandfather and bombard him with twisters: 

"Where will the lawyers go to eat?"

If the grandfather innocently says a restaurant or a hotel, with a smirk the given answer will be - in the food court! 

To further tease the confused grandfather, the next one will be. "Where a clumsy person will get his food?

The grandfather worries whether the grandkids have tagged him as a clumsy person or expecting from him an answer like what he had given to the previous one. The grandfather hesitates. 

With glee in the eyes, the grandkids give the answer, “In a mess, of course!" 

Now is time to wind up this travel through times of joy and unpleasant moments in a grandfather's life, sponsored by the indomitable and mischievous pranksters. The seasoned ones will not hesitate to take the plunge once more.  The fence-sitters would like to take the jump, after due diligence, and those standing beside the fence would like to gather some courage to vault over! 

The world of grandkids and a grandfather is unique and utopian. The relationship grows like a banyan tree, under which everyday enlightenment and lessons on life are given for free! Sample and savour this: 

“The aftermath is always painful!

The past always has a price tag and in settling that debt, don’t mortgage your future.

You get to see your face twice - when someone (read grandkids) holds up a mirror to you and when you walk into your own dream.

When in deep mess (with the grandkids), you cannot leap-frog with faith alone.

Behind every apparition, there is a hidden logical explanation!” 

Consider these as “Desert-dry humour or arctic snow-drift repartee” , it never fails!

On a happy note, ChintaMany ended the story. His pet puppy ,lifted an eye lid to peer at him and then went back to contemplate its life, on the rug.