The Dynamics of inherited politics -This is what we have

Walkers or hawkers, the politician touch their every day life in many ways. They call for a bandh or go on a fast until next meal time. The drama of fast unto next meal is very interesting – it is done under police protection and an attending physician.

 They claim to understand the hunger of the poor but forget the fact  these BPL fellows stay hungry for days together, they do it with out the attending physician and none to offer a jar of fruit juice

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Bandh called by them is a mass entertainer –people to roam the streets, burn tyres and buses (state owned of course) and take care of the pollution content in the atmosphere. Government employees do not make it to the office and even if they do – nothing earth shattering will be accomplished except discussing the bandh.

Traders down the shutters, enjoy the holiday as most of them are retailers with cash on delivery or mostly 30 days payment terms. It is somebody else’s money that gets locked up!

The person or the party that called for the bandh goes around with supporters to enforce it on the public if possible, or quietly go out of station allowing the bandh to fizzle out. Before that happens, they make sure of the media coverage, for the first two or three minutes – the standard visuals being buses and trucks prevented from plying, collected tyres lit with a liberal dousing of kerosene and one or two buses set on fire.

If the state transport employees also join the strike, the politico, like the wise owl, operates his transport assets unhindered, after sunset. Bandh or no bandh, they sit pretty with their business interests well protected, leaving the hawkers and daily wage earners to face a mini economic crisis.

They never think of better ways like organizing blood donation camps, fasting quietly, on that day at home or undertaking a padayatra in their constituencies.

But the politico has aims & duties – to take care of the ‘people’ and subdue the opposition. Before going forward, some clear definitions/descriptions are required on what is meant by ‘taking care of people’ and ‘subduing the opposition’.

Here people referred are not from the electoral constituency but only from the genetic ranks. Subduing the opposition, a sort of cosmetic surgery and painful before completely healing - is mainly carried out with public money.

‘ Physical’ education , Tax raids, breathing life in to dead cases and excavating past misdeeds come in handy, but carefully omits such deeds in his previous ‘golden’ rule.

To earn a living, he follows the FLAWS (fire, land, air, water and space – the five natural elements) protocol to seize the opportunities to prosper. He leaves no enterprise untouched –All forms of transports, cinema, mines, exports, imports, dairies, farms, textiles, TV channels, Newspapers, infrastructure, automobiles and other ancillaries.

If time permits, he builds and operates educational institutions, and super specialty hospitals .At around midnight, he sits down to tally the day’s profit/loss account. No wonder a politician has little time left to visit the constituency, till next election that too at a great personal sacrifice - for that moment. 

Speaking about the public money, he has a lot more to offer to us on the expenditure side. Freebees are announced, as if he has pooled the funds out of his vast personal resources. If troubled by conscience, he conveniently remembers a deceased neta and name the scheme after him or her. Media advertisements - on full page or pull outs are published and some how the expenditure gets charged to the exchequer.

What ever be the party affiliation, the political class exhibits a rare camaraderie and bonhomie. They come together to award to each other with acres of prime land ,at throw away prices, to build plush party palaces, lush green gardens, memorial arches and a grand Samadhi rivalling the Taj.

They some how find a way to charge these expenses on vote on account or deficit account – who cares and questions?

They fully utilize the open door policy on media – in the interest of the common man. Humours them with print, electronic and multiplex – day to day mass entertainers!

Outlandish offers galore in an election manifesto - move earth to heaven to win the election. The mother of all promises awaits the BPL family – each family will be promised a ‘twinkle twinkle little star’, in the Milky Way galaxy, in exchange for their valuable votes.

At the current rate of hectic politics, a day is not far off when, all the planets and satellites, except Moon and Mars will be de-notified for occupation by the opponents. Moon and Mars have been already explored at public expense and the less habitable ones are reserved for the others opposing them, electorally.

The politician’s brain works faster than the fastest computer, which would be built some time in the future. A simple solution for to and fro travel to these heavenly objects is already in place – shift the governing centre there as a summer capital and winter capital

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Being down to earth people, the plan is to have the monsoon sessions on terra firma to mange the current assets till he settles down in the summer and winter capitals. He needs this time, to organise mining leases, agricultural farms, dairy farms, cement, paper and sugar mills, start publication and TV channels. What a master stroke! 

Failing to fulfil the promises in the elected term, they plead, literally bending on their backs, for another term – promising to fulfil them now, along with a fresh set of promises by invoking a departed leader’s soul as a prop. The departed leader, (himself might have been a casualty in an accident or breathed his last after an expensive treatment abroad) may or may not have had anything to do with the spate of freebees announced.

Worry not. What for they have established print & electronic media houses? A forgotten story, on a different context, will be brought to life and old clippings handing over some freebees will be looped and played till you switch off the TV. The pay off for the departed soul’s helping hand would be a swanky memorial in the home town of the deceased. Public memory is short and spending public money is fun.

How the politico manages to keep fit during all these public services to be rendered term after elected term. For this, show of strength, walk outs, dharnas, causing disruptions during debates are a few select games he plays. If the player is charged up and gets so involved, he rushes to the ‘well’ to stall the discussions.
With experience, the politico attains certain phenomenal strengths. In emotional debates, the fingers turn in to scissors and palms become the wooden gavel – tearing in to bills, amendments, agenda and motions printed and circulated, splitting the wooden desks in ayes and nays.

 If the same had been carried out by a student in the exam hall – debar and rustication would have followed him. By this analogy, it is not to be mistaken as a double standard.

In a democracy all are equal; but some are more equal than others and yet some are granted the most equal status  than the more equals – all in the interest of the common man. Is it clear to the student now, even though it is a bit confusing?

The presiding officer makes passionate pleas and when the situation gets out of hand, requests the Marshal to pacify the angry member.  Getting tired of these physical activities, the member airs his views to the media instead of the place where it should have been debated

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Think of the fate of a common man if he does so – of airing his views to the media on what has happened inside. Both of them may have to face the music for a breach of privilege. Live telecast of proceedings bares it all – the empty seats yearning for the return of the occupant.

A more serious game of numbers is played to gain power or to topple the present ruling party. To make it interesting for the players, this game is played in different locations of the state or in the country – for engineering defection and comforting the disgruntled on a, all cost paid, Bharath Darshan.

Some of the active members also hop on to the tour to stretch their legs and to get some fresh air in the select hill stations. If all is peaceful at home, it is time to plan for a travel to visit other elected democracies, for a first hand study, of their governing methods. Some times, many such visits are needed for a thorough understanding.

If by chance, the common man starts wondering when the study will be put to good use, then the answer might be – after some more study tours.

Politics is a strange and an all inclusive social enterprise – social engineering, genetic sciences, inclusion and exclusion principles, dynamics of dynastical influence, economics, commerce, greed and sycophancy. Men close ranks to keep women from the political mechanism but appear in public with wife in tow.

They are quick to calculate and show that the 5 to 10% of women representatives getting in to the system are equal to 50% in gender representation in law making (or is it in-law making?). All these things they do only for the sake of taking care of people belonging to their genetic tree or forest whatever.

At times, they exhibit a rare sense of humour, even under extraordinary times of distress (natural calamity or a war effort). To set an example to the general public, they come forward and donate liberally to the relief fund - a month’s salary. What would be a way to prove that all are equal in a democracy!

The humour part is this – the word ‘salary’,  merely a drop in the bucket when compared with  their daily earnings. Their lockers and bank accounts remain frozen till the calamity is overcome or forgotten.

By the skin of his teeth, if he manages to survive two elections –the voters who elected him did so , not because of his credentials but the promises held out each time looked more promising – in an otherwise non-existing  existence, they queued up and stamped their anger on the ballot papers  like  karma yogis.

He then starts eyeing a governing position. The politician has a vote-bound duty for the constituency and for that service he draws a meagre monthly salary, minimal perks and lives in government quarters. But there is a tragedy in this arrangement, like the ZZ security cover, once allotted they rarely relinquish them voluntarily.

But this is a meagre compensation not commensurate with the efforts. Think of the curriculum he has to undergo – “0” hour, question hour, cut motions and divisions to earn a master, honours or a doctorate.

He may suffer temporary amnesia on promises. But is a walking encyclopaedia with a photographic memory. Instantly recalls episodes from history and acts of commissions & omissions of the previous government – to deflect attention from the mess he is in.

If all these tricks in the book fail, the politico is also capable of playing other games. Lord takes the avatar route to save humanity from the clutches of adharma and takes a pretty long time to decide about the timing.

An elected representative has to accomplish this with in short span of, may be five years. He has to quietly decide on the number of avatars (2 or 3) needed, to change allegiance to get elected. These manifestations are called poll-eve vaulting (for his better future).

If tainted, submerges and resurfaces with a never say die attitude. Reads out statements such as ‘am humble servant of the people and party’ and declares “am never in the race for a position in the party or the government’, goes on to add that ‘the state or nation comes first.

These time tested pearls of wisdom needs only a medium to deliver them- which is always there to give a helping hand.  This act of re-appearing as a mortal is known as fence sitting (trying to make hay after sun set).

It is not easy to play these games where judging the time is very crucial – like the trapeze artist. A missed grasp here, both might become histories. If loyalty is the yard stick, the longest stick will ,surely be found in politics!