The dynamics of inherited politics - This is what they do

The party which formed the government on its own strength finds itself, now,  in hot water. The proverbial public memory became more and more short and started remembering on selective basis - forgotten promises, misdeeds and old root connections.

The reason is overwhelming destitute condition, the decaying influence of lineage. The electorate lifts the veil of cataract off their eyes and dream of a new vision.  The lead party suffers and sulks in stigma. Reading the sign on the wall, get ready to share power, whatever are the odds.

This is as dangerous as saying to a surgeon ‘whatever the cost , save the patient’

The outside support comes in any of these types – The silly mid-on or silly mid-off, mid-on or mid-off, long on or long off on the boundary type. When this supporting game is played efficiently, it is more nail-biting than a T20 match between titans.

The pitch condition might be the number of skeletons in the cupboard and the need for patronage. The ruling coalition happily takes the support from left, right and middle pitches.

The pundits in the forecasting department (the 1st to be constituted by the ex-ruling party) get busy with the computer modelling right from the word go. The job is very simple - try to forewarn the bosses.

When the mid-off or mid-on will take the position of long-off and long-on? At what moment, the long-off and long-on collectively or individually will cross the boundary line, withdrawing support? With many politicos being patrons of state cricket associations – it will be easier to staff the department.

Allow the grass to grow under your feet, sure you will be bitten by an angry snake – you are impeding its progress. This sage wisdom is extracted and exploited to good measure by any ‘likely’ minor partner in the coalition government.

As we, weather the power cuts with the help of inverters and generators, the ex-ruling party wants to make a comeback using likeminded parties or splinter groups. The search, for such suitable crutches begins in earnest and old war horses are let loose to grab them. Unfortunately, the crutches come with custom-built designs.

The equation typical of a splinter group, except those giving outside support, runs like this:

P = x CMP + y MOSWIC + z MOSP
Where,  CMP is cabinet rank, MOSWIC is state rank with independent charge and MOSP is state rank. The integer values for x, y and z are decided by the group head with 10 to 12 representatives supporting the government.

 For this dispensation, the chief arbitrarily sets the value of x as 3, y as 4 and z as 1 to 2. In turn, he grabs x for immediate kin, allots y for relatives & loyalists and z is solely for the ground level loyalists. Even with this pie share on hand, he demands to have the whole apple too.

He may finally relent to negotiate on MOSP, as a face saving measure – in the name of keeping out the inimical party. These ironing out processes leave the ‘would’ be major party gasping for oxygen, even before the swearing in ceremony.

The ruling dispensation has to, now, keep separate wings to take care of this flock of ‘flight crazy’ groups from deserting the camp. Files on past misdeeds, pending cases, location of caves where hidden wealth is stashed and a compendium of violations – traffic, shooting of endangered species, FERA, FEMA, COMMA and full stops are kept ready from the day the coalition talks start. Constant updating is done to be ever ready.

The packers department of the senior alliance partner, takes over the task of aligning the deserting partners – flying money bags, rice bags, clearing forests and lands in a tearing hurry – to hold on to the passengers ,damaging whatever is left on the fabric of democracy.

Its political managers keep a close watch on the emerging power equation P = x CMP + y MOSWIC  + z MOSP, mentioned earlier and bend their backs to coax the groups not to alter the values of x, y and z – the begging defies definition.

Sycophants (within a party) blow up a disgruntled element’s disagreement as a threat to safety, demand and get  security cover – a political nirvana ;once provided it can only be enhanced but cannot be withdrawn. Now an aura vulnerability and invincibility has been created in one master stroke.

The conscience department (occasionally on duty) preaches the fact that when a common man is leading a simple life, politicos must lead a much simpler life; due to paucity of time the moralizer had come by a special plane to address this public meeting. He brings along the thick smog like ZZ security cover, which follows him like a shadow, to impart this moral education.

Often, vociferous performance is given by the articulate in the loose cannons department. Makes open heart statements or directs rhetoric on chosen party men.

 The party machinery swings in to action to distance itself from the statement or to distance itself permanently depending on the unwanted impact created by these loose shots.

This damage control exercise or fire fighting exercise is carried out periodically to keep the party spokesperson fit and firing on all cylinders.

The loose cannons should try to emulate filmy heroes - they never shoot at themselves.

On one thing, a broad agreement exists among the politicos. They have unanimously decided to abide by a unique protocol. The “Treaty on Extra Terrestrial Assets” called TOETA.

It reserves exclusive rights over the black holes in the universe. The purpose and universal appeal unfolded later, adding one more ROM to their already futuristic computing brains. The ruling dispensation, at that time, can use them to bury the SCAMS as a last resort.

But before that, a democratic process of forming a committee or commission has to be attempted, only after ensuring a favourable finding.

The major partner in the coalition – on its behalf or to come to the help of a splinter group, acts according to this protocol, appoints a commission or a committee.

The chosen chairman, tries his best to unsettle the views of the others in the committee or commission, leaks selective portions of the deliberations in an aside to media and if a furore erupts, the head of commission or committee will duck under ‘misquoted’ or ‘misinterpreted’ or ‘quoted out of context’ subterfuges to make the media eat a humble pie and succeed in releasing his trial balloons.

As usual the opposition party members stage a walk out and seizing the chance, the chair submits his report as the committee’s final report. Failing in all these democratic means, the government of the day now takes the matter in hand and dispatches the SCAM, the files (a plot for Conon Doyle mystery) and the scamsters in to a convenient black hole.

End of matter!