Hung in there for dear life

A spider or a bat hanging upside down is merely a technique for survival. Whether they derive pleasure or fright is a matter of conjecture. Imagine a sixty-plus emulating this act, hanging feet down, from a maze of ropes and a parachute! What else it could be other than a foolhardy attempt to show off a misplaced valour? If this attempt is an invited upon adventure, then a more severe terminology has to be dug out from a bulky dictionary. 

Had I declined to go to the beach or simply dumped the encouragements on to the receding waves or weighed in my phobias before agreeing for this ghastly experiment, I could have avoided an hour of suspense, fear and uncertainty in the air and over an ominous looking sea.

For anyone who does not know swimming   or to act like a swimmer, hovering over the sea , even with all the safety gears and trained rescue team in place, it promised to  be a combo offer of thrill and nightmare waiting to be experienced and relived.

The short sand patch on the beach abruptly ended in the waters as if reluctant to get separated from the rolling waves. On this shore an expert strapped me with a flaming red jacket, which resembled more like a conjoined pillows stuffed with Styrofoam than a safety device. At this stage, there was no option but to trust this make-believe contraption or the driver who was standing by with an inflated rubber craft tethered to a wave rider. This brought to my mind the picture of a calf being attached to its mother.  It is my experience that whenever anxiety flexed its fingers, I turn to similes. 

A look at the craft and the name “Yamaha” on the wave rider froze my spine instantly. Literally I was dragged and unceremoniously made to sit on the rubber craft with a curt instruction to hold on to the hand-grip.

The driver vented out his impatience by accelerating the wave rider as he had to meet the mother boat standing at a distance, in the sea. The thoughts of contraband runners employing similar technique ran through my mind and that did not help to quell my fear of getting in to the open sea. Every wave that passed by chose to terrorise me further by wantonly amplifying each rise and fall of the rubber craft. After a minute or so my fingers were ready to poke through the palms and look at my rigid face.

In a feeble gesture, as if to divert my mind from building up further tension, the wave rider kept spewing a water jet majestically from its rear, unaware of the fact that I was also busy, doing the same thing, by counting the number of waves passed by to confirm a beach theory that said ‘every seventh one will be the biggest among the lot’ and assessing the probability of experiencing sea sickness before this ride came to an end. I lost on both the counts as the wave rider neared the waiting boat and stopped with a bang, almost throwing me overboard.

The mother boat had no gleaming deck to boast except for a winch mechanism and a long length of coiled manila rope. After meeting the people waiting and brave enough to go para-gliding, I understood why the driver of the rubber craft was in such a tearing hurry. He wanted to get the show going and I wanted it to end even before mine started. Though, there was no possibility of avoiding the prolonged stay in the boat, as I stood shaking at number four in the queue.

Mind in the grip of fear is a wonderful gadget to unleash frightful thoughts. Mine did exactly that with such clarity – its purpose was to make me experience the triple whammy of hydrophobia, agoraphobia and acrophobia. As a starter it let loose a shoal of sharks with the sole agenda to eat me alive. At this juncture a self doubt surfaced “Why so many at a time?” followed by a train of doubts: “How deep is the sea here and for how long I can hold my breath without taking in salt water? The very thought of salt water made me to retch a bit but somehow I managed to hide my discomfort from those brave hearts in the boat.

The show began when the first person was called up. One more life jacket, having a catch mechanism to attach it to the harness of the parachute, went over the first jacket. On signal from the trainer, the pilot of the boat revved up the engine to pick up speed. As I watched in fear induced silence, the cords slowly became taut and the parachute started to open like an umbrella. The gushing wind caused the parachute to fill and lift the person dangling from the harness.

Giving up its fight for freedom from the restraining ropes, the parachute slowly rose higher and higher, in to the sea breeze. The airborne figure and the parachute  started moving up and down buffeted by the wind. He resembled a flying kite and the rope attached to the winch on the boat looking like the tethering twine holding the kite from taking off on its own! A penny for my thought: "How the flier will react if the parachute takes off on its own?"

At this point I closed my eyes to imagine myself at that position. Dramatic scenes, in 3D, of soldiers being air dropped over enemy territory amidst whizzing bullets followed by pilots ejecting from flaming fighter planes premiered in my mind. On the sidelines of these heroic acts, some gruesome scenes where the parachutes fail to open and the jumpers die crashing to the ground, peeked in exclusively to scare the hell out of me. If fear is the key to the doors of nightmare I was tightly holding a bunch of them on that day. Even the cackle of sea birds circling above the water sounded like the creaking doors to the museum of nightmares.

This forgettable reverie was broken by the not so gentle shaking of my shoulders. The trainer was standing in front of me to get his job done. Little did I realise that in real life a queue could move up so fast or time runs out at supersonic speed when you are lost in the forest of fear. The boat was gently bobbing up and down,mirroring the movement of the waves while the co-passengers were excitedly pointing out to the far away mountains or at birds circling overhead. Speaking casually in a local dialect, the trainer finished harnessing my unwilling persona  for the adventure. I felt like a patient being readied for surgery, having no choice to lodge a protest.

The pilot slowly picked up speed and the boat started to buck like a horse in a rodeo show. I felt a gentle tug at the harness and began to ski backwards, scraping my feet, over the deck surface. As my feet were airborne, I felt like a steer hanging down from a meat hook, courtesy, once again, from movie scenes. The parachute started talking to me with cracking sound, which I initially mistook for gun shots, from overhead. The lone, mean looking bird began to circle around my airborne frame. My frightened mind surprised me by throwing up these teasers: if I am the meat hanging from the hook, then will this bird be the buyer? Whether the purchase is for the whole family or for its own meal?

At this stage, my heart felt like a ball of cotton and started to pump ‘frightened’ fear along with the blood from toes to head. Unable to bear the burden, it suddenly took a fancy for the fresh saltish air and started inching towards my mouth. We are made for each other and are agoraphobic. This fear for heights and my gridlocked teeth effectively prevented it from happily walking out on me.

Slowly, ever slowly the parachute rose up in air and through the slit of an eye I saw the whole sea shore, building structures and people receding from my view to become indistinct details. Bursting at the seam, the surging fear managed to open my sealed lips to let out a plaintive cry. Then I began to talk to myself, in a loud monotone, expelling few vehement shouts, at the waves.

By this time, my dangling arms and legs got busy in punching the air and the relative, riding in the boat , especially to photograph this event, kept himself busy shooting this comic scene frame after frame. Poor soul, he might have misunderstood the flailing legs and punching arms as a mark of my exemplary courage.

The humming of the diesel engine started to sound weak and the parachute began to steadily lose altitude, giving a false hope that my ordeal would end soon. Before I could realise it, my feet landed on the surface of water pulling me down up to hip level. The boatman’s intention was to give me the feel of getting a ‘dip’ in the sea while curly waves tried to lift and lower me like an abandoned piece of drift wood.

A sharp burning sensation, on the left leg just below the kneecap, now joined the list of my miseries. An accidental scraping against a boulder had left a deep cut and now that was protesting the salt water bath it was getting. Who knows, the gash might have opened up and bleeding? Another imaginary worry crept in : If it is true that sharks could smell a drop of blood from a mile , have I not just sent it an invitation for a bite?

The interminable waiting, for the shark to bite and the game of ‘dip , lift and dip’ being played on my nerves by the boatman using me as the lure for the shark, mercifully ended when he decided to land me on the deck.

Thinking that the sea of emotions I exhibited, during the entire exercise, would look ‘telling’ in the family album, tight close up pictures were continuously being shot by one of the conspirators. Obviously he wanted to impress the other one, his wife, waiting for us on the beach.

Fresh from this agony, I resolved not to give in to any temptation for walking that extra nautical mile even to visit a sea shore - in future!

Quid pro quo – a divine deal

The binding cold, ever pervading darkness and heavy silence started acting upon the nerves of Chitragupta. He had already started seeing ghosts, some burning like the fire at Yam Lok, whizzing past at supersonic speeds but without the attending sonic booms. In this respect, Yama was well informed and convinced Chitragupta that in deep space there will only be bangs without sound.

This information added one more worry to Chitragupta’s  mind already overflowing with questions “why so many ghosts? Where from do they come? Where they are all going? What he did not know was that these ghosts are nothing but asteroids and an occasional comet.  He detested the hierarchical tradition of Yam Lok which forbids him from such universal truth.

Most of the times during the voyage, Yama remained uncommunicative by  simply shutting down transmission of thought waves so that Chitragupta could not read what was going on in his mind. This odd behaviour perplexed Chitragupta, making him to go on guessing about what could be going on in Yama’s  mind. He felt angry at the system of paranormal skill development as per hierarchical curriculum. Only this norm had prevented him from becoming the leader of Yam Lok and placed him in the second place, always. He had so many axes to grind against Yama and one of them was the bad luck which made him to be a student in the same class.

Though he heard all these thoughts, as they were being formed in Chitragupta’s  mind, the eon long friendship prevented Yama from hurting him at this stage of travel in deep space. Yama had a secret purpose in continuing this journey in to the unknown. He was prospecting for a new job, becoming sick with duties dealing with death. He could not remember when he took a holiday in all these eons! If he told Chitragupta about that, his friend would have surely ditched him and gone back to Yam Lok.

Far away from the duo in flight, different kind of trouble was brewing. Siva was angry with them for absconding from Yam Lok and taking off without his knowledge. This hardened his resolve to find a way to replace both of them. Incensed at the dereliction of duties, he began to dance – the cosmic dance of its kind never before witnessed by Brahma or Vishnu. Both quietly melted into their abodes, after glimpsing at the ferocity in Siva’s face.

Refreshed from this dance, Siva began to plan for the mega event to bring the Cellwalahs and TV empires to their collective, shaking knees. He decided to empower all humanoids with the power of third eye. As an afterthought, he decided to limit its application only to thought communication with an inbuilt go-no-go mechanism to stop subversive and unhealthy thoughts. He wished to include a counter which would automatically reduce the power of the third eye, as and when these thoughts arose in a person’s mind. The endgame would be complete loss of this sight forever; without recourse to a remedial penance even if Brahma or Vishnu intervened for mercy.

Brahma on his part decided to throw open the universal knowledge bank. His solution was simple – whoever wants to know anything about anything in the universe. it would just flash in to the memory of that person. He added an automatic catch – the moment that particular information sought has been utilised, it will be permanently erased from the mind, till such a time another requirement for the same information arises.Being the creator of all living things in the universe, He wanted to take care of the ones with forgetfulness too, by giving them another chance! In the case of pranks, the ‘net’ result will be a ‘whirlpool-worm’ suctioning out all the knowledge from the mind!

So far all the critical decisions concerning the universe and the living beings were taken after due consultation as it involved birth, growth and death. Forgetting the importance of the role played by him, how they could take unilateral decisions like these? This unhealthy trend annoyed Vishnu.

A pensive Vishnu decided it was time to act quickly and decisively, timing it in such a way that both Siva and Brahma are forced to retract. Another thought that irked His mind was the mankind’s relentless efforts to inch closer to unravel the mystery shrouding “Who” really created the Universe.  and have advanced to a state where they could actually “see” black holes merging in to each other, by detecting the changes due to the ‘event’ that took place millions of earth-years ago! At this rate perhaps it might take them, a few more thousand years, to know what happened at that very long time ago??

He willingly let the ‘leak’, about His plan to create another new Universe in a short period of time, to reach the ears of Brahma and Siva. Though Brahma had toyed with a similar idea, a long time ago, this breaking news shook His Lotus bed violently.  He somehow managed to stay on to it with the power of all His ‘tapas’.

On hearing the news, Siva froze in mid air as he was performing a complicated ‘death dance’. Gathering all His anger, He marched to the abode of Vishnu to confront Him.

This imminent showdown let loose the basic instincts of glee on the upcoming fight as well as fear about the outcome in the hearts of Devas and deva ganas. They gathered in en mass, knowing not what to do to avert the celestial catastrophe. Unless someone is able to broker a peace deal, death of the Universe is a certainty. Expecting a leadership crisis, the Natural order began to breakdown threatening the birth of a chaos.

Surreptitiously, sage Naradha approached Vishnu and whispered in to His ears about certain options that Vishnu could exercise to avoid a cosmic turmoil. Vishnu thought over the stated options and chose one of them. An appreciative smile graced Naradha and a secondary glance swept over conveying ‘readiness to face the challenge’ fell on Brahma and Siva.

The first change occurred in Brahma – the four heads fused in to a single head with eight ears and eyes and four noses, mouths and supported by four necks. The confusion and the ensuing identity crisis was writ large on Brahma’s faces. This did little to cool the anger of Siva and He defiantly stood facing Vishnu as if challenging Him for the fight.

The assembled Devas and deva  ganas suppressed their giggles with great difficulty, wondering what will happen to Siva’s face. The third eye on Siva’s forehead disappeared only to reappear on the nape of His neck. Siva’s anger was now replaced with an anatomical confusion and this did not stop Him from wondering how Brahma will be feeling with four brains crammed in to a single head; will it be a crowded confusion?

The Devas and deva  ganas watched the unfolding spectacle in awe. Little they could comprehend the likely endgame. Vishnu closed His eyes for a brief awhile and then the unexpected happened. He simply vanished leaving everyone, including Brahma and Siva, in darkness.

Brahma offered the first peace initiative. He agreed to scrap His earlier plan to create a new universe on His own. As a bonus, volunteered to drop the idea of implementing His brainchild ‘information on demand’.

Siva had no choice now. He clearly understood that the Creator intended THEM to preside over the cosmos as a team, sharing equal burden, and specific that NONE shall try to undermine the OTHER. Following suit, HE dropped HIS plan on opening third eye for all.

When THEY realised that the benefits of maintaining status quo, in the cosmos, outweighed the meager cost of quid pro quo paid, Brahma and Siva regained their former glory. Vishnu materialised smiling and resplendent to the collective sighs of Devas and deva ganas. With the natural order beginning to repair the breakdown it had experienced, sage Naradha left the scene in search of the recalcitrant Yama and Chitragupta.

Yama and Chitragupta returned to resume their ordained duties as they were granted pardon for deserting their posts.  The Cell phone and internet conglomerates redoubled their efforts in far reaching researches. The academic institutions bought many ‘chairs’ benefiting from the industrial rush to burst myths with modern technologies.

Child psychology for a baby sitter

Tom was annoyed with himself for failing to counter Bystander on that fateful day in the park. The simmering anger in him brought up memories of all the past forgettable encounters with Bystander, though a wave of appreciation , for Bystander’s temerity, tried to surfaced above it.

 

Firm in his resolve to stand up to Bystander, he started an elaborate preparation to teach  a lesson or two. Having decided to take the fight to a finish , he chose Bystander's pet subject – baby sitting, as the weapon.
Tom knew how much Bystander loved to be with kids and the mere thought that he could now take him on made him feel like a person walking an inch above the ground. The much awaited opportunity came during a birthday function.  Tom watched with glee as Bystander was holding forth on his prowess as a babysitter. He waited for the right moment to upset the apple cart of his off and on friend.

On hearing a baby’s non-stop cry, Bystander approached the parent and advised him to pacify the child with a candy or a short walk or a cool drink. Tom seizing that chance said, “Let the child cry for some time and stop on its own. Intervening at any stage of this vocal exercise will only help it to become insistent ,push up the limits of its bargaining power”.

Both the parent and Bystander were taken aback by this loud statement. Ignoring their presence,Tom moved on to his next point,“It is a common mistake of a baby sitter to keep on chattering and pointing out at various interesting objects without allowing the child to develop its own likes and dislikes”. With an I-got-you-now look, Tom took a gentle swipe at Bystander’s habit of talking to the child while taking it out for a walk.

"Being proud of one's protégé, the baby sitter tries to impress visitors by asking the child to perform this or that activity like a trained circus animal? The child deserves a better treatment”.

“It is a wrong practice, for the baby sitter, to set goals for the ward as this will only ruin the child’s pleasure of doing things independently and at its own pace. Will anyone caring for the psyche of the child do such a thing?”

“Every child is unique. Comparing one child with another only reflects an adult's perception of the other child, indicating immaturity in thoughts. Who knows that the child will not pick up the same bias?”

These statements of Tom shook the very foundation of Bystander’s avowed expertise in child psychology. Quick to react to anything insinuating, Tom expected an outburst from Bystander but felt cheated when nothing happened.In the meanwhile, few interested parents who did not want to miss any further points from the speaker, occupied the vacant chairs lying next to Tom and Bystander.

“Any baby sitter would do well to remember the fact that excessive pampering of a child leads to large expectations and consequent disappointments. The time a baby sitter is likely to devote to the child is a fraction of what the child would spend with others during its full life. Better not to inculcate prejudices, notions and traits at this formative age of the child. It will hamper the all round development of the very same child you dote upon now".

“It will only interferes with the child's adaptability, if the baby sitter obliges willingly to be the child’s assistant in play or other activities . Do not waver for a moment to instill discipline and do not encourage or condone an activity which may expose the child to physical injury”.

The audience was becoming attentive and Bystander began to feel the heat of being gradually upstaged by Tom. He was at a loss to understand why Tom was doing this well thought out expose?

Excitement creeping in to his voice, Tom added, “Avoid excessive entertainment or moralising without thinking about the state in which the child will find itself after a period of time. Please bear in mind that a baby sitter’s time is now and will be gone; the child may not need you as a backseat driver, in its future!”

“Finally, beware, the precocious child might be taking you for granted and use you as a means to get things done which are proscribed by the parents. It is worth remembering the role of a baby sitter is only of a secondary importance and a stop gap arrangement that too if the parents are willing”.

Bystander was left speechless as all the points raised by Tom found their targets – his ego. In the uncomfortable silence that followed, Bystander thought deeply as to what could have made Tom to carry out this sting operation on him?

Slowly making his way to the dining hall , Tom siad," The relationship between the child and the baby sitter is like a dose of bitter medicine;  the child hates it, when given ,and the baby sitter hates to give it.There is no escape for both but to give in".

It was during lunch at the function hall, Bystander understood why – It is the payback for his park bench lectures on faith and philosophy. He mentally saluted Tom for the finesse with which he has settled a  score!

The environment protests

A window seat and a moving train can bring pleasure and pain, to a traveller, if sensitive to the surroundings: the panoramic scenery, rushing by, of wild flowers, native trees, green fields, parched lands and occasional chain of mountains or at least hillocks dotting the plains, here and there.

The wild flowers and native trees standing at a distance from the track resemble friends and relatives who have come to see off the passengers, at the platform. These plants are like those people, who even under personal hardship, never fail to turn up to wish a happy journey. The difference is , relatives go home but  not these enthusiasts!

The distant mountain chain presents a sleepy appearance not allowing its finer details to escape and come to the viewer. Occasionally a column of smoke rising from one of the link (mountain) in the chain kindles a little interest, because a bush fire has unilaterally decided to catch an eye or attention. If fortunate, the traveller might get a glimpse of sparkling stream of a waterfall, like a shawl draped over the mountain’s shoulder.

The hillocks are the bare-all type; exhibit gleefully their green cover or boulder strewn bared-it-all physique. Though not even a cloud passes over it, the hillock makes it up by displaying boulders shaped like an elephant, a bear or even a lion, keeping them on permanent display. Theses precariously perched boulders resemble the banks of summer clouds changing in to different shapes as they float away to disappear from view.

Unlike the rock paintings of early man, these boulders silently bear the scars of modern day art-on-rock-face to greet and inform the traveller of the territorial claims being proclaimed, with symbols of diverse groups, to usurp the reign of nature!

All of a sudden, a dead tree comes in to view. The train slowing down for signal or a winding curve on the track presents this sad picture. The branches, sans leaves, frozen in a gesture of helplessness, the hollow trunk, resembling a cave upright on its feet, the tree stood looking forlorn. Revisiting its nostalgic heydays only brought angst and these unanswered questions: Where are those flocks of birds that used to rest, nest and play? Why the birds are not visiting me anymore, they can still play hide and seek inside my hollow trunk? What happened to those insects that used to scurry along the trunk and branches? 

The birds and insects, busy in their day to day life, had neither time nor inclination to post an answer. Moreover, who knows how many generations of them have come and gone?

The window seat traveller was left wondering at the tenacity of the tree to still hold on to its ground through unseen roots. May be it has immunized itself against the heart wrenching feelings of loneliness and wasted life. The barren hillocks, in the background and barren land surrounding the lifeless tree were a plateful of sorrow for the traveller. This question that echoed in his mind: Why is it still standing?

Tear drops rolled out of his eyes as the train started to move. He could guess the answer as to why the dead tree was still standing – to protest against the insensitive humanity in not attempting to give the life back to the fallow land at its feet! Or was it crying for an act of euthanasia? Or standing in the role of a sentinel to warn any flora to put roots there?

With a screeching noise the train started moving and as it passed by the signal pole, the traveller wished that the train had not stopped at that spot. The withered tree left him feeling sad for the rest of the journey.

The inner journey Tom wanted to avoid

"You don’t see things as they are but wish them to be as per your choice.  In the same way, the appearance of the outer world reflects the state of your inner world. If you are able to merge them together, your personal own god is born”, Bystander started to speak to Tom who happened to be seated in the same bench in the park.

“You may ask how that is possible. The answer is to perceive things with your inner vision. I know you will ask, what is this inner vision? The inner world is a weird and wonderful phenomenon. It is a reflection of the outer world that has mind as its center. How can you train yourself to see things from inside? Who can answer, as to exactly what is the inner journey that we make unknowingly?

Bystander went on without bothering for a reaction from Tom. Tom managed to squirm in his seat, looking intently at his toe nails.

“Every human being goes through this process. A world within a world is something that we hear now and then in the spiritual contexts. Who is it that is responsible for all our involuntary actions such as breathing, digestion and the blood circulation? Imagine how difficult it would be, if we have to remember and control all these activities to survive. We will be dead in a few minutes, if we forget. And that is why the access to control these essential activities to sustain life is denied to us.

“Where do the human beings acquire the knowledge to do things necessary to survive? Many a times, we end up wondering as to how things are controlled in our body. What makes us knowledgeable about a situation which we have never faced before?  This situation knowledge is generated by survival instinct. Bystander felt pleased with his flow of words and Tom wished to be elsewhere in place of the park.

“Where this instinct has its roots? Of course in the mind or simply stated it’s the work of the mind. The mind is an encyclopaedia and storehouse of all the knowledge that we ever want to know, for the entire human life. So in a nutshell, we are born with all the required knowledge to survive. All we have to do is to search for the answers. There are numerous books that try to explain as to how the mind works but none of them can fathom the depth and the complexity of the mind and how it works? Research is still continuing”, Bystander continued, warming up to the discussion.

The lecture was becoming too boring and the agony of sitting through it placed Tom in a dilemma: whether to get up and walk away or to put a stop to Bystander’s babble, then and there. He decided not to give in to that temptation, fearing a second course on the same subject will be unbearable. He let  Bystander to end the verbose once for all.

“There is very little information as to how the outer world and the inner one are interconnected except that the human mind plays a vital role in the connectivity. The mind is a world in itself and through the ages, religions tried to explain the works of this world in many different ways. Concepts ruled the physical world giving birth to various religions and some of them even managed to co-exist with commonality and contradictions. We can always ask our doubts to all of them and get the same answer. A difficult mathematical theorem can be solved in number ways to get the correct answer; likewise, religions tend to solve theories of life differently, promising the same end result”.

“Recognising maya as a virtual reality is a useful tool. If it does not exists then how one who does not want to spend time in reality can create it to find comfort? Maya necessarily need not mean events or thoughts that help in derailing a person from the path chosen by the majority to lead a life in contentment. In fact, those who outwardly appear to be content and righteous might experience the influence of maya for a brief spell but come out of it without overstaying there. This ability to correct an aberration at the slightest disturbance separates the Himalayas from the hillocks.

“Everything that we need exists within us. Become intrinsic. What is it that we really have to do?  Close all the senses and look deep within. You can call it by any name you like - meditation, yoga or any other technique that helps in concentrating on the inner self. Pose a question that has been troubling you for some time. Wait for the mind to search, retrieve, and process stored data and flash the answer on your mind’s screen.

“The clarity in the answers depends on the perseverance shown by the individual. Where the mind gets all the information from? How interactive it is? Can we take this iterative process as an ancient and remote system of learning by googling questions to our own mind?”

With these words, Bystander ended the discussion, feeling elated that nowhere Tom tried to interrupt the flow of his thoughts.Mistaking the dazed look in Tom’s eyes as deep involvement, Bystander congratulated himself for the clarity with which he was able to discuss some of the difficult philosophical points with Tom. Little did he realise that an entirely different set of thoughts were appearing in his friend’s mind at that precise instant.

Tom wondered whether the summer heat is taking its toll on Bystander. He felt like the uncleared post box – stuffed and suffocating. He recollected the earlier incidental meetings were a relief compared to his present situation of being dunked in Bystander’s pathetic philosophies. 

He was sure that any journey in the company of Bystander will be a nightmare.He recollected the earlier incidental meetings were a relief compared to his present situation of being dunked in Bystander’s pathetic philosophies. He was sure that any journey in the company of Bystander will be a nightmare.

Misunderstood husband

Muser was taken aback to see Mrs. Bystander waiting for him. What unsettled him was her appearance – reddened eyes and slightly swollen face. He wondered what misfortune might have befallen, making her to seek him out. What happened to Bystander? Not known to show his emotions so visibly, he managed a polite acknowledgement and invited her to have a seat.  He thought “refreshments and small talk can wait”. She had ample briefings from Bystander about Muser and so did not expect or wait for him to ask “what is the matter?”

She started, “It’s all my fault. For each and everything he does or thinks, I pick up an argument, without waiting for him to explain. Do you know why I don’t wait, because he never discusses the decisions he takes?” He deduced that she tends to be a little impatient in her eagerness to be aware of the happenings in the family. But how could he tell her that men have this tendency of not bringing everything to the dinner table discussion. He has heard outpourings, of questionnaires being thrust at him, from Bystander a number of times.

Muser sensed a small family tiff but did not rush to add or subtract anything from the statements she just made. Among friends things could be discussed threadbare in conciliatory terms or in plain heated exchanges. Dealing with hurt feelings of a friend’s wife, also known to him for a long time, never becomes easy only harder.

His mind raced to arrange plausible explanations for whatever form of complaints she was sure to make. In the same time space, she was also thinking how to present her view point in such a way that Muser could not easily find words to calm and convince her. In the end Muser thought “why not allow her to have the say and then start analysing the problem”.

“Do you know what your dear friend did last week? We met his relatives and there an old aunt started extolling his childhood exploits, the tons of love with which he was brought up etc. Not to be left behind, her son and daughter-in-law also joined the chorous with their own versions. For his part, your friend started to reel off anecdote after anecdote, regaling them to laughter. I simply sat through the whole affair, comparing your friend’s current avatar bereft of humour and not understanding any of our sufferings. I got worked up because none of these things he never narrated to me or the children”, she finished in an emotion soaked voice.

Truly a mine strewn arena has been carefully prepared by Mrs. Bystander for the standoff. Muser went through the options available to him and chose the one that will ease the situation. He said, “I know my friend holds you in esteem and had never missed the chance to tell this to others whenever an occasion came his way” Little did Muser anticipate the retort that followed. She said, “Who wants his conduct certification? What is the use when the same is not known to the recipient?

Muser, changing track, said, “You know that I know him from childhood days. He speaks less, thinks a lot of all of you. He means well but he does not say it”.

She did not buy that explanation given by Muser and questioned, “If he can tell you all these things then what prevented him from sharing all these things with the family? All along, we have been accommodative and is it too much to ask him to be the same, now?”

Muser could not face these spirited deliveries at a furious pace. He took fresh guard and decided to take them all at merit.

Looking at her, he began, “Again I will go back to our childhood days. He was a pampered kid among aunts, uncles and relatives. Even at times I envied him for this, in those days, of course. You may find fault with my friend again, If I say this, but please hear me out. He told me of this incidence and also explained the idea behind the way he allowed the people to talk about him in your presence. Do you know why?”

“How will I know unless he chose to tell me either before or afterwards? How do I know that you are not making up something to keep your friend in my good books?”

Though this comment hurt a little, Muser ignored it and continued, “All these years he has been living in guilt for not amply reciprocating their kindness. At this time when everyone has aged and left with only fond memories of yesteryear, he let the talk to center around him, occasionally joining them, only to see some smiles on their faces and an evening they will relive for some days”.

She looked a bit confused and continued, “Why did he not do the same with us, we also would have enjoyed the fun is it not?”

Muser decided to let it go as he wanted to drive home some other points. “He takes certain things for granted in receiving or reciprocating. But in his mind these thoughts get processed and stored. He believes exhibitionism is a makeup attempt and has said so many times to me. Just take it for granted as he means all the good things to all of you. This habit of closed chest attitude has developed in him over many years of struggle to lead a honourable life. Unless you care to know the history, you will naturally have these feelings”.

Sensing that his words are talking to her mind, Muser continued, “My friend is like the medicine in a capsule. It is easy to take it as it is. If you separate them, the medicine will taste bitter”.

Please permit me to ask a few questions: “Did anyone of you asked him to talk about his childhood memories?  Did not all of you take it for granted that it would have been just uninteresting? Getting no answers Muser remained silent.

She started to think whether it was right on her part to come to Muser or wrong on her part to have made an issue out of nothing. From her face Muser understood that some of the issues clouding her mind are slowly clearing. They sat in silence for some time focusing on Bystander.

An auto arrived at the entrance followed by voices over the fare dispute. Muser appeared visibly relaxed thinking now that Mrs Muser has come home, she will take care of Mrs Bystander. The promise of a hot coffee also cheered him a little.

Bystander's armchair philosophy

"Traditional gods derive power out of mass devotion built over hundreds of years. The devotees presented them with opportunities, organisations and aura. The combination effect of all these methods stabilised their investiture as traditional gods. The very foundation of goddom lay in the unshakeable faith of followers which endured generation after generation".

"Before all these could happen, mythological narratives were used to perpetuate a cult following. Along the way temples were constructed, idols were installed and consecrated. In all probability a heroic person might have been the central theme of all these things. This stream of thought might not appear outlandish if one cares to check out the names of sanths, saints and babas. The so chosen gods never came from a royal blood, with an exception here and there!

There is another set – personal gods in the households or gods for the commune.  The devotion, opportunities and aura are limited, based on the influencing factors of the households or the villagers. Here again, there is no doubt about the faith; unshakeable!  This evolution would have taken a few decades, privy to the households or the village.

"The former gods, belonging to the first set, became rich with endowments from kings and commoners and the later ones with a gross earning index closely linked with the fortunes of handful of people in a village.

"Theories and practices divided the population in to believers and non-believers. Both vainly trying to prove and disprove the existence of god. Some wise mind has already must have dwelt on this issue to come out with the saying “god cannot be everywhere; that is why mothers are born”.  Obviously this runs counter current to the chauvinistic view of theists and concurrent with the thinking of atheists, at least, partially!

"The tribe of god-men conveniently positioned themselves after mothers, to add variety to religious philosophy. High jacking ancient scriptures, a few among them embarked on a mission to purify the religion and bring it up to date. Going modern they established mutts in their country and sprouted branches in all the other countries, as if they have the only trademark solution for all the ills of mankind.

"The disgruntled Indian Diasporas unwittingly fall prey to the self boasting sweet talks and miracle mirages showcased by dedicated T V channels.  These discourses are aimed at the western culture and delivered in a language which many of them cannot comprehend does not worry the native followers. The gurus are after fame and the followers chasing the tech savvy gurus promising them enlightenment, overlooking the fact that the very same gurus who despise scientific advancements show no qualms in making use of modern gadgets to propagate their foot prints. Indeed this is unshakeable faith!

"The “possessions”, “takeovers”, “appeasement rituals” and the band of sycophants trying to perpetuate their theories make the very identity of these god-men suspect. The truth about god could be as simple as this: It is the faith in the mind of a person and there could be as many gods as the population on earth"!

Mr. Tom's head  felt like a spinning top after hearing this ranting from Bystander. He could understand that something was seriously bothering Bystander but could not appreciate being the sole recipient of religious/philosophical updates. He hated any form of  "pop up " up dates, per se, whether it was for the smart phone or computer or himself. He intently prayed for a break unto freedom -  chiming of a buzzer or a ring tone from  a phone or Mrs. Bystander bringing in refreshments. He was ready to accept even a cup of lukewarm coffee-break , to soothe his throbbing nerves.