The Teflon Man Man melts part 1: Bystander speaks

  

The Bystander, having no other pressing engagements, spent time in observing people just to get acquainted well with the crowd. During his walks and Sunday visits to park, he noticed the same senior citizen (unconfirmed guess) passing by. He used to wonder whether it was a coincidence or both of them operating under the same biological clock.

It so happened during one of the Sunday park visit, Bystander found an unusual gathering of crowd and all the benches were occupied. Deciding to take a walk around the park, he chanced up on a vacancy besides the same senior citizen. He opted to take the seat instead of continuing to stroll around.

A few minutes elapsed in silence as the senior citizen was sizing up the occupant next to him. Bystander bided his time waiting for senior man to break the silence. The senior citizen also waited to see if the newcomer would like to talk or remain silent.

Just then a young child came running towards them, after the ball lobbed by her mother. The child could not catch up and the ball gently rolled under the bench where these two men were sitting. As if on cue both of them bent down,  to stop the ball rolling away further.

The girl gleefully accepted the ball, thanked them and ran towards her mother. Both the men started to talk almost at the same instant. After preliminary introductions, the senior citizen looked little pensive and said,” I know. I can not sit in judgment but that does not prevent me from presenting my case. Is it not?”

Bystander did not know whether he had to reply or wait for the other man to continue. Few seconds elapsed before the other man decided to take leave saying, “will meet again”. The abrupt departure unsettled Bystander but gave little hope that more will be coming out at another time.

That another time came in the same park and on the same bench on the next Sunday. Unusually, Bystander brought some steamed ground nuts thinking that munching on them might help the senior citizen to crunch out his woes.

From the look on the senior citizen’s face it appeared as though he was waiting for his arrival. Pleasantries and ground nuts were exchanged and then the man started saying, “Young birds, taking to wings have no time in the day for even elementary things” and paused. Suddenly the senior citizen switched topics to politics, science, environment and changing weather pattern.

 Used to extempore and non-stop talking on any single same topic at a given time, Bystander found it little confusing – these starts and stops of the senior citizen. At one point, he even thought that the man might be suffering from senility.

The curiosity in Bystander went up by several notches. Resolving to get to the bottom of the affair, he continued to seek out for the man and said hello every day, from that day onwards. By that time, Bystander had worked out that the man has experienced certain difficulties in emotional adjustment with his family members.

Having concluded this, Bystander did not want to wait for the other man to begin airing his woes. Instead he himself will do the pouring of woes in a different way. He only wished to help the agitated old mind to settle down and enjoy the evenings of the remaining life.

Having made this decision, he impatiently waited for the first opportunity - be it is in the walk or in the park, thinking place do not matter but the conversation might. 

Facing the other man Bystander said, “Please listen to your inner voice and hear the sweet music of your love and affection for them. Glittering ceremonies did not make it a memorable celebration. A simple but beautiful setting of a gentle stream flowing over pebbles and boulders, making gurgling sounds would have definitely made that celebration memorable.

You were under a social pressure at that time and now this younger generation is experiencing the force of MNCs, smart phones, internet and competition. Try to accept these facts”.

Seeing no expression change in the man, he continued “Once a bird takes to wings and migrates, it is on its own for food, shelter, and survival of the species. Sons and daughters are akin to these birds and do the same thing.

Leave them undisturbed and admire them from a distance or count the heads in family reunions. You watch the birds intently, passionately and likewise the nesting birds certainly do take notice of you and yet continue with their activities. They are not ignoring you .This approach works better to keep the flock together, emotionally.”

Wondering whether all the things are getting analysed or being ignored by the senior citizen, Bystander paused for a moment, searching for visually disturbing clues. Seeing none, he decided to go ahead, “To sit in judgment means, view points are heard and considered in the light of precedence and experiences to fully understand the issues.

Then also, the delivered judgment must be agreeable, workable and be in tune with the present constraints. Avoid getting upset if your advice goes up for a second opinion. Today’s youngsters do not do anything with out consulting Google and friends”.

More surprise was in store and Bystander felt like delivering a monologue – the lack of response was unsettling and breaking the flow of thoughts. He wondered what Muser would have done hearing this monologue!

It was getting dark and many people started leaving the park. Bystander noted that a few latecomers to the park were just getting in for a brief stay. This observation sprung another idea in his mind.  He suggested a stroll around the park to which the other man readily agreed needing a little diversion.

In silence they leisurely walked around for some time and then Bystander pointed it out that the crowd which was leaving, as the park lights were switched on, did so to get prepared for the next week’s work. The question, they   carried home might have been, “how long to wait for the next Sunday?”

Please recollect the story of a devotee being praised by the Lord for constantly remembering Him amidst all his worldly worries. If the essence of the story has been understood, then it is easy to love the younger generation with out any reservation. More over, your memory of their childhood with you might be quite different from their perceptions of their childhood memories in your company. Here lie the woes and worries.

What an Adult education for an adult!

At the end of the day, Bystander felt that he had taken lot of liberties in airing his views, giving no chance to the senior citizen to speak. Bystander knew that this attitude was in contrast to the statement he made about judging people. He deliberately did so to help the other man to come out of his mental shackles and unburden himself, in solitude.

Bystander said, “Good night Sir” walking through the gate with a heavy heart. The senior citizen, who remained mute all along responded, “Same to you, gentleman”, walking a step behind Bystander.