Child psychology for a baby sitter

Tom was annoyed with himself for failing to counter Bystander on that fateful day in the park. The simmering anger in him brought up memories of all the past forgettable encounters with Bystander, though a wave of appreciation , for Bystander’s temerity, tried to surfaced above it.

 

Firm in his resolve to stand up to Bystander, he started an elaborate preparation to teach  a lesson or two. Having decided to take the fight to a finish , he chose Bystander's pet subject – baby sitting, as the weapon.
Tom knew how much Bystander loved to be with kids and the mere thought that he could now take him on made him feel like a person walking an inch above the ground. The much awaited opportunity came during a birthday function.  Tom watched with glee as Bystander was holding forth on his prowess as a babysitter. He waited for the right moment to upset the apple cart of his off and on friend.

On hearing a baby’s non-stop cry, Bystander approached the parent and advised him to pacify the child with a candy or a short walk or a cool drink. Tom seizing that chance said, “Let the child cry for some time and stop on its own. Intervening at any stage of this vocal exercise will only help it to become insistent ,push up the limits of its bargaining power”.

Both the parent and Bystander were taken aback by this loud statement. Ignoring their presence,Tom moved on to his next point,“It is a common mistake of a baby sitter to keep on chattering and pointing out at various interesting objects without allowing the child to develop its own likes and dislikes”. With an I-got-you-now look, Tom took a gentle swipe at Bystander’s habit of talking to the child while taking it out for a walk.

"Being proud of one's protégé, the baby sitter tries to impress visitors by asking the child to perform this or that activity like a trained circus animal? The child deserves a better treatment”.

“It is a wrong practice, for the baby sitter, to set goals for the ward as this will only ruin the child’s pleasure of doing things independently and at its own pace. Will anyone caring for the psyche of the child do such a thing?”

“Every child is unique. Comparing one child with another only reflects an adult's perception of the other child, indicating immaturity in thoughts. Who knows that the child will not pick up the same bias?”

These statements of Tom shook the very foundation of Bystander’s avowed expertise in child psychology. Quick to react to anything insinuating, Tom expected an outburst from Bystander but felt cheated when nothing happened.In the meanwhile, few interested parents who did not want to miss any further points from the speaker, occupied the vacant chairs lying next to Tom and Bystander.

“Any baby sitter would do well to remember the fact that excessive pampering of a child leads to large expectations and consequent disappointments. The time a baby sitter is likely to devote to the child is a fraction of what the child would spend with others during its full life. Better not to inculcate prejudices, notions and traits at this formative age of the child. It will hamper the all round development of the very same child you dote upon now".

“It will only interferes with the child's adaptability, if the baby sitter obliges willingly to be the child’s assistant in play or other activities . Do not waver for a moment to instill discipline and do not encourage or condone an activity which may expose the child to physical injury”.

The audience was becoming attentive and Bystander began to feel the heat of being gradually upstaged by Tom. He was at a loss to understand why Tom was doing this well thought out expose?

Excitement creeping in to his voice, Tom added, “Avoid excessive entertainment or moralising without thinking about the state in which the child will find itself after a period of time. Please bear in mind that a baby sitter’s time is now and will be gone; the child may not need you as a backseat driver, in its future!”

“Finally, beware, the precocious child might be taking you for granted and use you as a means to get things done which are proscribed by the parents. It is worth remembering the role of a baby sitter is only of a secondary importance and a stop gap arrangement that too if the parents are willing”.

Bystander was left speechless as all the points raised by Tom found their targets – his ego. In the uncomfortable silence that followed, Bystander thought deeply as to what could have made Tom to carry out this sting operation on him?

Slowly making his way to the dining hall , Tom siad," The relationship between the child and the baby sitter is like a dose of bitter medicine;  the child hates it, when given ,and the baby sitter hates to give it.There is no escape for both but to give in".

It was during lunch at the function hall, Bystander understood why – It is the payback for his park bench lectures on faith and philosophy. He mentally saluted Tom for the finesse with which he has settled a  score!